stil waiting for reply... ... ...
i dun have the mood to do anitink rite now. i dun feel lik packing my room, i dun feel like watching dvds though i've waited very long for the exams to be over so that i can do tinks tt i lik. i dun feel lik eating. i dun feel lik going out. i dun even feel lik tokin. ... so i blogg.
人生不如意十之八九. i noe but i have to learn to accept. i m beginning to give up my goals in life one by one. though i wanted very much to reach them, i noe i cant. so i shall jus gif up. no doubt tt i'm reali sad n disappointed. i have no other choices.
was chatting wif my mum n aunt de other dae. they were discussing abt life aft death. their stand: those who dun have religious beliefs will have no where to go aft death. my stand: is there life aft death? i dun belief in goin aniwhere aft death. it's jus the end of life. i believe tt pple turn to religion becos they cant fill the void in their life. this whole debate lasted for over an hour. my god. n i haf to listen to them talk abt buddhas n god n bla bla bla. well. i dun reali believe unless i feel lost. ha. so... i tink i've long ago realise my stand. ... aft the discussion, it made me not start tinkin abt life aft death. it made me start tinkin abt life before death. what shall i do b4 i die. wat do i wan to do n wan to achieve before i die. wats my one last wish on earth. well. aft so long... i noe wat i wan. but i dun tink i can get wat i wan. there's no one person that i can totallie trust. ...
my last wish on earth: to have at least S$5million before i die. n i wish to leave behind a house n a car, on top of that 5million.
i dun mind suffering now jus to exhange for that 5 million, a house n a car. ...
我.爱.水.母.头
10:35 |
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Exams are all over n i shld feel happy. but i realise that i dun feel happy. .. there are many tinks i wanna do but cant do due to some constraints n many tinks tt i dun feel lik doing have to surface and let me handle. i dun mind doing tinks tt i dun lik becos i can learn new tinks. but i dun dun like to do the tinks tt i dun wanna do.
i really feel very tired. i seriously m. i got a feeling that i'm snapping very soon. i m really stretched to my maximum this time round. my body is no longer mine animore. i dunno wat i'm doing.
There are many tinks wich i learn to let go in life and i've a diff way of seeing. not becos i wanted them to work that way but becos it forces me to tink tt way. no doubt that i feel relax aft changing my tinkin n making certain decisions. but... it seems as if my brain controlling my tots n my body dun work that way.
In 2 weeks time. the most painful tink is going to happen. ............................................................ I will quit driving. that's the tink tt i lik mos n dislike most. i'm numb to failing TP. i'm dissappointed in myself. even if i pass in 2 weeks time, i dun tink i will be happy. well. 人生的一个污点.
There are tinks wich i wanted very much to say but i dunno how to sae n... there seems to be lik no suitable person to lend me a listening ear. well. i wuld appreciate if someone culd kip toking to me wifout me saying a tink. tell me how shld i carry on wif my life.
there's almost nth left though i've done my best. ...
我.爱.水.母.头
10:14 |