30th April 2005
opscom n color listen up.. dose who free on 16 May.. do u wan to go k box? leave a msg for me thnks..
It's a long long journey
...
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
18:37 |
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
19th April 2005
It's a long long journey
...
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
21:33 |
Monday, April 18, 2005
18th April 2005
i tink i really mus learn to relax n gif n take. haiz. JEALOUSLY rulez me..
-dreamer of de dae-
It's a long long journey
...
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
20:16 |
Friday, April 15, 2005
15th April 2005
*can anione pls tell me wat to do?*
let nature take its course bahx. i m more worried abt my MYE n MT o lvl which is gg to take place sn. MYE in another 2 wks tym!!! o lvl in another 1 n 1/2 mths tym!!! very big u noe!!! i jus wish to kip quiet nw n concentrate on my studies! todae ish de laz trainin b4 MYE. June, we can step dwn le. i longgeed for de dae to cum. really can't take it le! very tired norx. but i glad gt 5 dae work wk. at least during weekends cn slp norx. i jus haf to suffer another 2 or 3 trainings aft MYE n tts it. I PROMISED TO LET GO EVERYTINK N CONCENTRATE ON MY STUDIES DE!!! I MUX DO IT!!!
*POSITIVE ATTITUDE IS HALF WAY TO SUCCESS*
*1% of intelligence + 99% of hardwork = 100% SUCCESSFUL!!!*
todae step into sch. quite happie abt it larx.tot will b another normal dae.. wen to sch beri early to slp. lik abt 7 den wake up. while i slp, shini suddenly pop one earpiece in my ear.. i jump! de sound was shhoo loud.. [from quietness to high amplitude???] S.H.E songz mahx. den acc her to toilet.. den i listened to horoscope. den we wen back class tok abt horoscope.. but dunno y tok abt 'MVP characters'. really damn angry! dose ____ cum 'interupt'. arhx! den we wen dwn flag raisin. den wen for 2.4.. as usual larx. fail.. 19:07 .. shhoo sadxx. mus retest n retest till i pass. haiz. my silver!! gone le.. i drank 1L of water aft my 2.4. first tym ever i shhoo thirsty.. okie den normal lessons aft tt. dunno y. suddenly ah ben pass ppers to me.. again lik laz tym.. we tok abt sum tinks. hmmX. i didn't noe de full story lorx. okie.. den ltr as usual larx. todae recess ate den cum up. do tinks.. den lesson very gd.. all no hw!! nt sian oso. den aft sch gt celebration. tt cake was very nice!!! we had two celebrations le.. n both r coffee bean chocolate cake! yumx yumx. i prefer laz tym one.. but both r equally HEAVENLY!! aft wen st.john trainin.. carried dunno hw many stacks of newsppers dwn. shhoo heavy. thnks to shini, wai wah n shafiq.. help st.john. hehex. den ltr trainin.. obviously nt very happie abt sth larx. alwaes lik tt. so fed-up! realli waitin for de dae to step dwn. den we oso haf celebration. food very nice! aft tt, me go look for Mrs Lim. gif her CPB tinks.. haiz. i've onli work on it for 1.5 hrs. haf a hard tym lookin for her.. haiz. i kena complain le larx!! i wonder which tcher so big mouth go sae i very de talkative.. haiz. testimonial gonna b very bad by de end of dis yr. aft tt, we wen clemento central eat tt chicken wing rice. ok lar. i dun really lik lorx. den ltr wen big bk shop.. n send chuan linn home.. den i sit dere.. wait for my dad to fetch me. 50 mins ok! fed-up. initially my mood isn't very gd. wanna cry le norx. i sit dere 4 de 50 minx.. tink n tink.. whether i did de correct tinks anot. but i find tt i care too much le larx. jus gonna care for myself cn le.. n onli dose who deserve my care n concern. once i reach home, watch dolphin bay den bathe n eat dinner. den do de SGT assignment n finally i m done! nw sit here n blogg. ltr go c sum bloggs den go off le! tmr gt CIP.
Dear Lord our father in heaven,
thnks for de great dae tt u've given me. it's becos of all de obstacles tat make me tink n act intelligently. dey help me grow stronger n more mature as daes go by. thnks for all tat u've planned for me. no matter how tough the path may b, i will b moz willin to overcome it and continue walkin on.
in Jesus name we pray, Amen.
*bu yao qing yan fang qi fou ze dui bu qi zi ji*
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
11:59 |
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
12th April 2005
*haiz.. pls tell me wat to do??? dolphin bayy..
** hmmX.. soonie, jus relax.. let nature take its course.. sum tinks cannot b controlled.. DUN WORRY. BE HAPPY! (=
It's a long long journey
...
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
19:51 |
Friday, April 08, 2005
8th April 2005
todae is a very special dae indeed. mornin 2 periods of PE. had NAPFA test. i gt 2 marks n abv for 5 stations.. sit-ups:4! staning broad jump: 2.. sit n reach: 4! pull-up:2.. i gif up aft doin 2.. cos i noe me gt no chance to get gold le.. den shutter run:2.. haiz.. but at least gt improve kayys! las tym 1.. den bell ring.. wen back class. wait for tym to pass n go health check. suppose to b 9:15 to dunno wat tym.. 1 hr??? den we wen at 8:55 cos gt other classes call us go dwn. den drag till 10 plus den go back class.. miz phy..chem n 1 math period.. beri de tired.. mornin wen sch.. wen to lvl 6.. put bag, cos 1st period PE!!! den wen dwn parade square.. flag raisin..den go PE.. run here n dere.. den wen back lvl 6 aft PE.. walk walk ard at de corridor. jump here n dere.. den wen health check at lvl 2. sianx. mus climb 5 lvls dwn. haiz. tired out by all de NAPFA n runnin n climbin of stairs.
at de health check.. kena check height n weight.. test eyesight.. n blood pressure.. den tt stupid nurse.. sae i gt low blood pressure.. i tink she make a mistake man! she stil do twice lorx. although i dun understand wat she sae.. she kip tellin me my blood pressure is slightly lower den normal.. den call me eat.. if nt will faint.. wah siao arhx!
aft sch gt MT.. den ltr bio trip.. nice one.. but horx.. lik nth to c. pay $5 to c trees.. sianz.. den cum back.. we wen Mac eat. den cum homw lorx.. tryin to chng settings in bloggies.. til here bahx.. todae is a happie dae.. byex~
It's a long long journey ...
*Sometimes it feels no one understands*
*I don't even know why*
*I do the things I do*
*When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul*
*Will you break down these walls and pull me through*
我.爱.水.母.头
22:43 |
Thursday, April 07, 2005
7th April 2005
*life stil haf to go on for me.. *
我.爱.水.母.头
17:15 |
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Journey - Angela Zhang Shao Han
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you.to you
我.爱.水.母.头
23:03 |
Monday, April 04, 2005
4th April 2005
u noe hw sad.. lonely..n STRESS i m?! sumtyms i jus feel lik CRYING, SHOUTIN N SCREAMIN MY HEART OUT u noe???!!! haiz. nobdy sims to understand me. nt even tym.. haiz. alwaes dun haf tym to complete hw. den end up nvr do. *it'll alwaes b math.* y lik tt? sth i feel lik droppin A-MATH u noe?! everytym wen i do a-math, i wanna cry. *sobx sobx*.
ytd was lik hell for me.. mum wasn't at home since fridae till nw.. dis aftnn den cum back. i can't sign all de consent forms. sighs.. de few daes were lik HELL! jus gonna sae abt ytd. dis wkend oso haf quite a no. of hw. Sun woke up at 11. wen out to buy breakfast+lunch. had fried beehoon+ chicken wing+vege!!! nice one. den bought 2 roti pratas.. share wif my bro. i rushed to bathe as soon as i reach home. cum out wifin 10 minx. fastest spd eva.. den wen i wanted to eat, ISABEL CUM! okie.. had to open de door for her.. den gif her physics tys first. den i start to on vcd.. sit dwn n eat. wen i finish my food, i serve her drinks. den she do her work, i did my work too n watch vcds.. dolphin bay.. we spent 3 hrs in silence.. *shhh*. i did a-math n con't watchin till 5++.. a-math is sho diff! i wanna cry le.. feel lik droppin it. i dun sim to improve norx. .did hsework. den wen dwn buy dinner.. cum up, bathe n wash clothes n eat! at 9 finally. den con't watching dolphin bay n do math n pack. finally slp at 12!!! lolx. very de 'early' lorx.
todae woke up at 5:40??? damn early norx. dunno wat i doin oso. haiz. feel lik slpin. but can't every mornin i oso haf to rush for sch.. todae gt scolded by bmw n dampened my spirit 4 de dae.. but a lil onli larx. i even more angry wif her for wat she done to qk dey all.. wats rong wif gg to concert? gt prob arhx? pple oso nid relaxation n entertainment.. u tink we are 'corrosion-resistant rock' arhx? haiz. mus c her aft sch to draw 20 tyms of de same experiment again.. but she onli wan me to do 16 tyms.. 4 tyms less. but i finshed 8 in sch.. cum home onli gt 8 to do. stil gt her stupid wksht. sianx.. nw doin lorx. tmr stil gt bio prac.. wed gt a-math test n MT test. MY BRAIN WIL B 'FRIED' NEHX!
at least nw i dun really feel so hurt wen i tink of euu.. i tink i wil overcum it sumhw.. though occassionally i wil stil daedream of euu n tink of u.. even de slightest tink on earth makes me remind of euu.. i believe i cn do it man!
*sum tinks which are nt meant to b fer euu.. dun daedream le!*
a hurt lil gal.. abandon on a deserted street on a cold stormy nite.. left alone to cry n fend for herself.. wonderin wen wil de sun rise aft storm n wonderin who wil pity her n pick her up ~xy
我.爱.水.母.头
21:49 |
Sunday, April 03, 2005
2nd April 2005
tt is my msn nick for todae. haiz. tinks stil wil nt work out. i oso dunno wat 'it' is tinkin. i oso dunno watta do. i tinkin tt i m more of avoidin tinks den workin dem out. i m nt tt strong aft all.. haiz. feel lik runnin in de stadium again.. jus lik ytd. i wish tt i nvr stop runnin. so tt my mind will alwaes b focusin on de track n nth else. it isn't easy to forget a person u noe???!!! aft all we noe each other for sooooooooo long.
todae woke up at abt 10++ close to 11. nvr once in dis yr i felt dis free b4. i wanna use dis tym til de end of de yr to chiong my o lvl n nth else. *PREOCCUPIED*. i wen out to buy lunch. cum back, eat n watch vcds.. dolphin bay.. til disc 4 [haven finish yet]. jus bathe n wen out to mit my uncle, auntie n my cute little cousin! woodlands at seoul garden! hw i luv tt! sumore my auntie treat me n my bro to it! me n my bro reach exactly at 4:30. while my aunt were early.. tink abt 4:15??? den we started eatin. as usual i ate alot. 1 drumstick.. 1 plate of fries.. a handful of prawn crackers.. 2 sushi.. 4 pieces of fruits.. stil gt tt type of small small cury puffs.. i ate alot.. stil gt all those food.. hmmx. ate a little of bbq tinks onli. den ate 6++ scoops of ice cream onli! broke my first tym record!!! but stil nt enuff. i stil wanna eat ice-cream! dunno y, i jus luv it. 0oh yar.. stil gt 1 big big plate of sausages n stuff lik tt. i 1 person eat. yum yum.. sumptous bahx. my little cousin kip lookin at me eat den she smile. hehex. dunno y. aft tt, we wen to walk walk ard.. i wan to find my wristband! i wun gif up! hmmx. i wan PINK! wen alot of shops.. found nike ones.. pink in color. but nt wat i lik.. n it's 2.. me dun wanna buy. i dun wan 2 lorx. if really can't find.. me wil go back converse n buy tt one.. quite nice oso.. but jus tt NO PINK! eek! i hate it... y alwaes lik tt?! den cum back, bathe .. do hw n watch tv. den later watch vcd.. at least til disc 6 u noe??? heyx. MVP is stil nicer den dolphin bay.. dolphin bay kip saein business tinks which i nt in de least interested in.. den de luv story part a lil onli.. nt nice.. hmmX. gettin ready to slp~
thnk q to my auntie n uncle who brought me out to haf a sumptous meal.. thnks oso to my 7.5 mths old cousin who made me so :) .. thnks to soonie n jia min who care for me sooooooo much.. *I WILL LUV MYSELF EVEN MORE WIFOUT EUU* i cn promise myself tt.. so as nt to let dose who realli luv me dwn..
listenin to a sad song nw : dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui. [thnks shini for sendin me tt song.]
我.爱.水.母.头
00:58 |
Friday, April 01, 2005
1st April 2005
todae is APRIL FOOL DAE + sch sports dae + mahirah's b'dae. happie b'dae mahirah!!! todae is a very special dae for me.. parents wen back to m'sia by my uncle's car early in de mornin at 6am. i woke up at abt 5:50 to get ready for sch. nopee.. shld i sae stadium instead. i din get to c my mama b4 she wen off.. so sad. *sobx sobx*. feel lik cryin sia! den nvm.. i wen to clementi stadium very early.. wanted to run a few rounds dere. den reach at 6:40. realise tt it was too early.. i was de onli st.john pple dere. haiz. den waited for chuan linn to cum. wanted to run mahx. den end up wei ling came first den she acc me run lorx. ran 2 rounds onli. cos nt enuff tym. den 2nd round last lap we compete. obviously she win larx. actually, she over took me. no energy sia! den we stop le. mr koh call us get ready for mornin assembly. haiz. I WANNA RUN SUMORE! i wan to con't runnin n nvr stop. cos tts de onli tym wen i realli feel :) dis yr is de las tym i havin sports dae in my sch. but me feel nth special. every yr de same.. do duty. dere was onli once wen we dun haf to do. if nt wrong is Sec 1. but i din regret gg to sports mit todae.. tinks dere me dun wanna sae.. NT REALLI TT ENJOYABLE N MEMORABLE. aft de whole tink was over, me n chuan linn wanted to go market eat n go home. cos she has tuition n we mitin at 2:30 to study.den end up we playin swing den wait for wei ning den we go market eat. den she came to my hse. haiz. wen i reach home, she called me n sae tt she cancel her tuition le. wan mit at 2. okie lorx. den me n wei ning rush out. reach at 1:55 lik tt. we stand at de door, waited n waited n waited. haiz. she came at 2:20. sianz. early noe we take our tym. okie den we go lvl 4. oso can't study in peace. nvr even do 1 chpt den go home le. haiz. really regret gg out to study.. sori to sae tt. but tts wat i feel. no pt deceivin myself.. b4 i wen home. wen to IMM eat. reach home le.. alot of tinks to do. i watch tv n do hse work til 10:30. den finally gt tym to sit dwn n chiong hw n online. jus wanted to find sumbdy i cn tok to. but msn is nt workin. damn pissed off wif it. den i sit here n blog.
i find tt i m so damn stupid. everynite sit infront of de comp blog n cry. lik mad woman sia! cry to de computer.. a non-living tink worx! WAT M I DOIN??? WAT M I TINKIN??? sumtyms i realli wonder do u care abt me anot. i find tt i m very hurt.. seriously injured.. whether i've made de rite choice in knowing u??? okie.. tym to 'unwind' all de tinks le. fr de bottom of my heart. no pt deceivin myself. everynite i cry is becos of sumbdy.. i kip tinkin whether tt sumbdy concern abt me n truly luv me anot.. 'it' sim to concern abt sumbdy more den me.. tts mayb wen i get jealous bahx~ actually me nt as strong as wat u tink i m.. i m nt a metal.. even a metal wil corrode one dae. i appear to b friendly, talkative, emotionally strong n alwaes happy-go-lucky tt type. on de actual fact, i n nt a round table. i m a square table [u go guess de meanin bahx. abt friendship tinks]. i m nt really talkative. i appear to b very talkative onli to dose i noe very well or i m comfortable wif. if i dunno tt person well. wen tt person tok to me, i wil jus smile n walk awae.. i m oso nt emotionally strong. actually i cn cry very easily wan. is jus tt whether me cn control anot. i wun cry infront of pple wen i m sad. i jus dunno y. usually i hide inside my rm n cry. Lina once told me: if u wanna cry. go find a place to hide den cry. dis wae.. pple wil nt c ur weakness. wat she sae is quite true. n oso cos of wat she sae.. me all de more dun cry infront of pple. yar. n me alwaes lk happie-g0-lucky tt type. ur deceived! me nt tt :) aft all. i haf my own probs n sumtyms gloomy sky wil b abv my head. jus tt u can't c it cos i made it invisible. haiz. tok so much le. aft all, de prob wil stil b dere.. mayb de onli wae nw to make me :) is to AVOID u.. purposely forget abt u.. i dunno whether cn i do it anot! let's hope i cn~ i dun gif u a DAMN!
我.爱.水.母.头
23:24 |