mood is stil as bad
wen bac to sec sch. was havin a gd tym tokin to de tchers. n i realised tt i miz dem. wen out wif my class ltr. had mac. dey wen movie aft tt, i din join dem. cos de tymin isnt really rite n dunno y, i dun feel well all of a sudden. but i din tell dem. so was nt feelin well all de wae home. was so giddy. n i feel so tired nw. i wan to finish at least sum parts of written report. i dun wan to fall sick!
我.爱.水.母.头
20:37 |
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
haiz. why tinks becum lik tt?
ytd. wasnt in good mood too. was so tired til i cn hug my jacket n slp. den PW we had a trash out session. which i tink physically, mentally n emotionally drained me. i dun feel lik sayin anitink liaoz. jus hope tt WR cn produce sth of quality. dis situation is draggin me into a 'bottomless' pit. i feel lost n no sense of direction. bin cryin alot dese daes. n i feel very much lik cryin aft ytd. was late 1.5 hrs in mitin bel. cos i wen out of sch onli at 7. wen IMM buy sum stuff. sadx. reach home 10 plus liaoz. den i do my stuff til 3. studied chem awhile den slp.
omg! even more tired todae. cant even wake up. den todae no chem tutorial. tok abt PW again. n again, i feel very very lost. maths lecture n make up math tutorial nxt. den tok to vincent for abt one hr den go find ms chew. she cried. okie. n i sort of noes hw she feels. i dun feel gd too. cos it's our fault tt she cried. haiz. was kinda luan aft tt. til nw, i jus feel drained. hope tt she is beta. haiz.
我.爱.水.母.头
18:43 |
Sunday, August 27, 2006
232nd entry
我.爱.水.母.头
18:53 |
de saddy sadist me.
to shini: yea yea. but i haven ask kun yet. haiz. lik we gt no tym to mit. her long daes n my long daes diff. n she cant pon her cca. i will promise u tt i try to ask her asap. can we go sakaein end of yr instead? i dun haf $$ liaoz. i work until my eyes becum $.$ sorry. so sorry ehx.
to bel: muaha. oh my! my class blog is: 06s22rox. u cn go dere n c. but pls do nt tag dere thnks. cos tt one is for my class peeps. hee. gt neos! i oso miz u. definitely mus mit u out during hols. hmmx. stil figurin out cos i wanna prepare for my promo. =)
hmmx. i haf lotsa tinks which cant b kept in my heart. but i cant sae it out oso. cos i dunno how to sae. who to sae to n 'what' to sae. it's jus dere, becumin part of me. dunno since wen, i started to haf all dese negative tots again. isit lik a volcano in me all de tym, jus tt i dun sense it? i've chnged. din truly realise n understand myself until de 16pf test results r out n i was bathin todae. all sorts of negative tots n feelins jus wen tru my mind. gonna explode sn.
i m v. v. quiet dis period of tym. dun feel lik smilin, gigglin or even laugh. dun really feel lik tokin to pple oso. dun really lik pple to tok to me unless dey are crapping. dun feel lik participating in any forms of activity oso. simply becos i dun feel lik tokin. i jus wan to b lost sumwhere. nw, i appreciate tyms alone.
wait til i m alrite enuff to smile, laugh or tok. really really nt in de mood dese daes.
i pity my family members very much. dey love n care for me n in return, i ignored dem. cos i jus dun feel lik respondin to anitink ard me. n i dun sim to b able to respond too! recently, i found out tt i dun really respond to sound unless it's very loud, high pitched or wen it irritates me. why? wat's wrong wif me? wat's my problem? [dese are de 2 phrases tt i use frequently dese daes. ] hmmx. jus realised tt my dad purposely wake up very early every mornin jus to see me n he waits til late at nite, wen i cum bac fr sch or work den he slp. my mum even worse. it's lik almos everydae i wun c her. she go out b4 me everydae n wen i cum home at nite, she slpt. sumtyms she go my workplace jus to c me. omg! wat's 'de world' becumin? haiz. feel very touched n sad at de same tym. touched tt dey care abt me n sad tt i cant do anitink for dem in return. nvm. it's alwaes lik tt. no child will appreciate his parents til it's too late. i hope i m nt one of dem. sad.
我.爱.水.母.头
00:21 |
Friday, August 18, 2006
hahaha. fun n farni dae.
to ww: yar. haha. kinda stress. but hols is sn!!! i look forward to de hols. =) so i hope u all cn cum out for a small gathering. hee.
to phy: yar! muaha. takkaire yea. 0oh ya. jus to tell u. collect pper dunnit so fed up one. pple heck care u, u dun gif dem a damn lo. pple dun wan to pass up is deir prob. collectin tinks is nvr easy. n dere isnt once where u cn collect de whole class tinks together one. i haf thousand of yrs of experience on collectin stuff. cn consult me. haha. i tink i've gone tru all possible kind of situations. all thnks to my class n chem tcher. [in sec sch.] but i stil luv dem. hee. for every min ur sad, u lose 60 seconds of happiness. haha. n sth impt for u to note: onli gif instructions wen de whole class is together n speak loud n clear. tts all. kip tagging! =)
to shini: lookin at u all, chatting and sitting together will be de best remedy!!! lookin forward to seeing u sn! =)
okie. finally cn blog wat i wan liaoz. hmmx. lie on my mummy bed, almos fell aslp. cos her rm is super cold. haha. dots. okie. todae shant sae wat happen in de mornin. bored n nth-happenin. aft sch. wen for outing. haha. fun! though sth happen wen we wen. okie. dun feel lik saying. we gave in to de guys aldy lo. wen causeway. ate seoul garden. dunno y food doesnt taste nice dere animore. nt even de ice cream n char siew chicken which appeal me in de past. n i eat alot lesser than in de past. dis tym i m full quite fast. yih song, seng loong, wei long, phy, mel, jess, yan ping n i wen first. jun xiong join us ltr. omg! wen jun xiong cum, i was actually full. i m eatin ice cream. den really to full liaoz. til i look so sianz. den phy n i wen out. to walk ard den toilet den cont walkin until we finally feel hungry enuff to eat again. haha. den go bac eat again. choco ice cream stil taste nice. den mel, jess n i ate de laz. haha. til seng loong n yih song haf to go off. we all rush off to take neos. very farni! 10 person inside. so its kinda luan. but haha. de fun part is wen we were ready to take pics. yan ping n phy choose. den all de screamin starts. omg! its funny. but too loud le. pple wil tink sth happen to us. kinda farni. i laugh lik hell. but de fotos turn out nice. den chng place tt tym oso lik market. haha. finally everytink is done. phew. wen to deco. all guys wen off liaoz. den we take galz neos. onli gt one formal. de rest all act lik ah lian. i lik de one in basketball court most. =) cos i tink i look cute. haha. aft tt, wen to do gals stuff: shopping! but for awhile den go off liaoz. at de entrance, i was lik: eh, y phy cn cum in? i tot dogs are nt allowed. haha. MRT station. phy n yp was actin de couple who is infront of us. n we had a gd laugh. den dunno who askin abt de neos. so i was lik namin all dose who wan it. wen i mention seng loong's name, phy was lik excited abt it. omg! i was poking fun abt her. haha. den we laugh all de wae til we seperated. haiz. hope we can haf another class outin again. more crazy, more exciting, more laughter, fun, joy n peace. MOST IMPTLY, MORE PPLE TURN UP!!! okie. gettin tired. 0oh pple, pls go class blog n c de pics uploaded. =)
我.爱.水.母.头
23:00 |
Monday, August 14, 2006
heyz! camping!
fridae: wen to sch. mornin gt yoga. n we laughed at de s23 tcher. she wear skirt n do. ha. Ms Chew wore our class t. omg! she bought XS n it stil look big on her. hw i wish i cn b as slim as her. cant believe it man! i kip lookin at de tcher's side. deir yoga damn funny. great tym laughin. wen bac to class. norm lessons as usual. MT watched movie in rm 114. den i go take bottle cos i din bring mine. den eat during break. math lecture. was falling aslp but i hang on. n i copied dwn everytink tt was to copy dwn. den math tutorial. tcher gif bac test pper. sianz. i failed! den tcher gimme 3 more marks n help me pass. haiz. in de end get 51. den break. was slpin. n i cant believe it.. i really fell aslp. den woke up ltr for phy prac. sianz. fail phy again. todae phy prac. quite fun. den aft sch wen to c Ms Chew n check chem pper. sian diao. wen for rehearsal. where we spent alot of tym waiting den rehearsing. it ends at 4! i dun wan to go camp so early. so we ask tcher for tinks to do. Melisa sae go camp den go lo. reach at 4 plus. jus b4 ice breakers. to realise tt qiu kun is in my grp. yeah! thnks KS. =) den had ice breakers, family tym n dinner. dinner food okie larx. it din taste too bad. quantity enuff larx. hee. den learn abt leadership. den nite games. nt tt fun aft all. but had a gd laugh in lotsa tinks. my grp get bonus pt i tink. =) had supper den bathe. where i bathe super fast. den i lie dwn n slp le. hee. too tired. all de wae til alarm clock ring at 5:45...
Saturdae: mornin PT til abt 7. den breakfast. fried bee hoon, samosa n chicken wing. i gif qk de chicken wing n ate up all de rest. including hers. den haf golf first tink in de mornin. quite fun. gt into de whole at 1st or 2nd try. omg! my grp applaud me. hee =) den stil gt one is hit high n into de net. i gt it in at de first try. yeah! den played a few rounds but none gt in animore. aft tt is lunch. omg! our family lunch is super early. 11. n de lunch is nt dere yet. so we do tinks as a family first den eat. kinda rushin. ball rm dancing nxt. one of de tinks which i hated most. but okie. it was cha cha n waltz. n i learnt cha cha b4. so was easy for me. haha. den walts is easier den cha cha. so no prob larx. haha. i begin to enjoy. den archery was nxt. 2:30 lecture til 3. almoz fell aslp. den 3 i played til 4. wanted to rest under grandstand but i fell aslp. i woke up wen it's 5. omg! i slpt for 1 hr under sun. cant believe it man! den cheerin competition n archery comp. belinda was first! omg! F2 won de cheering comp. den dinner. okie. was damn hungry. so ate very fast. den was leader's nite! rootop concert! yeah! i was so happie til i look dwn fr de top. it's scary!!! omg! n almos gt scared by de 'drain'. was fun! qk n me kip spoilin de song. by singin it at de wrong tune n out of tune. haha. quite alot of pple look at us. cos we were so obvious. haha. den sing de laz song, we gotta sit dwn n get de shorts white. listen to Mr Leow tok crap. xcept for de crapping, de whole tink is fun. but it is short. den wen dwn for auctionin for supper. my grp has one of de lowest pt. kinda diff for us to auction food. den we onli auction for longan. 4200 pts? wen everytink ended, de counsellors gave my LG KFC n drinks for free! haha. no nid to waste pts n energy to auction dere. haha. den we ate supper. aft tt, go bathe. waited for abt 1 hr for my turn. wen i finish bathin, Michelle called me. den tok to her lo. but nt for long though. haiz. yeah! found wenny. den we slp together. cant really slp. cos i jus bathe n aftnoon, i had nap liaoz. but i fell aslp shortly aft 1.
sundae: woke up at 5:37 lik tt cos i wan go toilet. but i kip tahanin cos i noe gt fire drill soon. n i saw alot of ppl kena took awae by counsellors. suwen, jiamin n stil gt 1 forgt who liaoz. den i woke everyone ard me up to prepare for firedrill. of cos we ran de first. haha. it was all crap larx. qk kip sayin tt Mr Chua crap n stuff. i wasnt listenin to wat he sae though. cos i aldy noe wat dey wan to sae. hee. baddie girllie. aft tt, breakfast. kinda nice though. den lecture at LT1. 3 hrs. dots. alot of pple slp. Mr Leow gave us a 'loving' session. n we had lecture on 5 Ps of leader. i onli remb positive attitude, passion, patience n play. den love language. dere's words, touch, acts of service, gift n time. okie. for me, i like to receive time, touch, words, acts of service n lazly gift. [in tt order. fr left to rite.] but i lik to gif: words, touch, gift, acts of service n den tym. [in order fr left to rite.] sad rite. hmmx. aft lecture is area cleanin. my LG clean field. had a hard tym cleanin 'shit' n fake cockroach. den wen hall for debrief. sing 3 songs. but dis tym take 2 hrs. sianz. wen to eat wif wenny aft tt. JE kopitiam. nice nice. den wen home. immediately bathe, unpac n slp. at 5pm. =)
我.爱.水.母.头
19:50 |
Thursday, August 10, 2006
i hope todae cn laz foreva...
todae woke up quite early. wanna go toilet. den came bac n slp. rachel suddenly msg me tell me cant go. so i msg michelle. she called me at 10 plus. omg! she tell me she forget to bring hse key wen she go c doctor. okie. so i gif her solution. she wen ngee ann to get hse key fr her sis. den took taxi all de wae home. ha. n she still reach earlier den me. i m late for 3 minx. cos i ask her go out tt tym msg me. n she happen to msg me wen i packin my camp stuff. so i dress up n wen out. wen library return bks. wen buy cake. wen withdrawing money wif her. den wen marina square. put cake in seoul garden first den walk bac to mit tom. haha. saw amira, clara n michelle. den walk ard. wanted to buy pressie for tom. but dunno wat he lik. wen to lotsa shops. michelle tell me tt doctor gif her pain killers n relaxing medicine. haha. den we wen eat seoul at 2:30. omg! ate 3 plates of pasta. n lotsa tinks. ice kacang. shared wif michelle alot of stuff. wen toilet ltr. haha. luckily todae nvr vomit. but it is de least i eat. sianz. sort of lik wastin money. but it's okie. $10 onli. haha. den we cont walk walk. wen bowling. den bought titbits eat n cont walk. til abt 7 plus den wen home. met alot of familiar pple, tok abt alot of funny stuff. having happie tym together. i hope todae will nvr end n tym cn stop dis moment.
todae is a turnin pt of my life. aft todae, everytink will b diff.
i miz de food, i miz de fun, joy, peace n laughter tt we had. most imptly, i miz de people tt had fun wif me. *sob sob*
*ytd is history, tmr is mystery, todae is a gift, tt's y we call it present.*
todae will becum history tmr.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:15 |
Monday, August 07, 2006
kinda sad dae.
todae wen to sch wif kinda bad mood. cos nt enuff slp. dun feel lik tokin too much oso. tot gt GP test. so i studied dis mornin. n todae dunno wat msg we haf to stand in sedia position n listen. kinda tough on me n i sweat lik hell. b4 MT den i noe GP test nt todae, sianz. MT tcher came late. wen tru test pper. din do well. kinda unhappie. break. wen to eat. den econs Written Assignment. tcher jus wen tru it. den gif us exactly de same tink. but i dun remb anitink. so din do much. GP again 'test'. sianz. another break. ate 2 scoops of ice cream. math. was blurring de whole lesson. jus copied sum stuff. chem. arenes tutorial. Ms Chew crapped 1/2 hr den start. finished de tutorial. onli in 1/2 hr. so another 1 hr is slackin one. n i gt more den 1/2 de tutorial wrong! wat m i doin?! n wat m i goin to do?! okie. i failed chem test again. dis tym is common test. 25%. i cried. EoM haf to pass up by tmr. stress! i feel as if de whole world came crashin dwn on me. wen toilet den played Ms Chew's labby. for awhile onli though. PC nxt. yoga again. sianz. end liaoz go eat another 2 scoops of ice cream. wen JP library wif lili. bee hwee wen home. cant find animore tinks on sun's art of war. i hope internet helps. ate ramly burger on de wae home. nt very nice though. regretted eatin it. den came home ate a lil cos gt duck! my life. drank vitagen. haha. den nw doin EoM. stil gt chn proj to b done by fridae. stress out!
:: EoM haf to b out by tmr! help!!! ::
a wrong step cn even fell an elephant. haf i chose de wrong path in life? i feel so terrible tt i jus wan to jump dwn fr ani buildin tt i c. life is really nt beautiful. esp wen u cum out to work.
tts all. dyin sn.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:00 |
Friday, August 04, 2006
stress!!! *sob sob*
todae laz dae of common test. i dunno whether to b happie or to b sad. happie cos de tests are over for most subjects. nt happie cos aft common test gt alot of tinks to do! PW, CIP, workin full dae almoz everydae. GP tests cumin up. n lots more which i dun even wan to c. i dun wan c my results!!! confirm everytink fail de. help! i wan to cry.. acting happie isnt easy n it doesnt feel gd.
* When one cant get any sadder den she is now, no tears will fall.* [believe me, dis is tru] i've gone tru tt.
*sum hugs wil do*
我.爱.水.母.头
21:14 |
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
almoz recover!
to yuko: welz. remb to drink lotsa water aft u eat worx!
to shini: arhh!!!! nxt wk cannot! i m havin camp. fr fri to sun. sianz. haiz. almoz cant cope liaoz. sob sob.
cant remb wat i did in sch laz wk. haiz. my brain sucks. fridae nite was workin. sat n sundae wen chalet to celebrate my cousin's bdae. sat prepare for chalet n took cab dere. once i reach, i start to practise my chem. cos dis wk common test.. haiz. so no fun. at nite bbq, i ate alot. n eat cake oso. so full. but everytink end very fast. den we played mahjong n slp le. de nxt dae woke up very early. dunno y oso. so wen to practise chem again. n stupid diarrhoea starts. i ate laksa in de mornin. n u noe... aft tt ate alot of junk food. wen for lunch at 1. chicken rice! my aunt's treat. i dunno y, eat alot lesser. ate ice kacang oso! my fav! den wen to walk ard. saw alot of shorts, all my fav ones. but my mama sae material too thin so she dun wan buy for me. sianz. den wen wild wild wet. okie larx. nt so fun. jus played a few tinks. wen bac to chalet's swimming pool. i wen bac to bathe first. n dots. my stomach pain until cannot tahan liaoz. n gastric! ate medicine n took cab home. slpt str aft bathin.
woke up a few tyms in de middle of de nite. den close to mornin woke up again. MC dae. sianz. miz alot of tinks in sch. n i slpt whole dae. ytd gt math test n econs test. 25% u noe?! sob sob. my partial exemption dun haf liaoz! i din study anitink. stil nt well though. wanted to take another dae MC. but i tell my mummy gt test. so she ask me go sch. daddy send me to sch. saw ms chew b4 de sch gate. ha. n she ask me y walk so slow. dots. dun feel lik tokin. so wen to sit at de corridor n read sum math stuff. hoping to get a B or A. ziliang walk pass n ask if i pon on mondae. dots. n he ask if i was okie. i din really reply him cos i wasnt well. stella sat dere wif me. den walk to de field together. wenny tok to me. but dun feel lik replyin her. den wen for mornin assembly. again i sian sian de. nvr tok. wen for test. tough for me to go tru. nt de air con too cold. but i din study n my stomach hurts alot! moodless. ans all wrong. den break. super nt well. my whole face turn pale. bee hwee n all saw. n dey tok to me. i wasnt in de mood to ans again. ate medicine b4 test den wen for test. sianz. i gt no tym to finish. n wasnt in de mood. foto copy stuff fr lili n go home str to study. i wan to study as much as i cn b4 i feel unwell again. i fell aslp halfwae though. den dis mornin woke up super early to study. took de same bus as yuko n walk to sch wif her. tok along de wae. wen to corridor n sit again. study til tym up. wen field. haha! n i tok to dem! yeah! dis shows tt i m well! hee. dey sae i look beta todae. a lil pale though. chem test dun haf enuff tym. so din finish alot of stuff. first tym cannot finish MCQ sumore. i've gt no more confidence in myself.
i dun wan to study J1 again! no fun!!!
help!!!
我.爱.水.母.头
18:14 |