Thursday, March 31, 2005
31st March 2005
tinks wil nvr b de same again. i beginnin to feel it le! nt in de class.. nt cca.. nt frenx.. nt opscom.. haiz. dunno y. i oso dunno where to start. i jus wanna comcentrate on O's. u noe tt de 3 mths of JC is cumin back??? all de MOE's fault. actually wanna chiong o lvl one. den end up mux chiong prelim+ o lvl. mux make sure i get into JJC. at least for de 1st 3 mths to play wif. haiz. makes me so stress.. + sth happen.. dun wish to blog it here. hmmx. tmr is our sch sport's dae! which means: tonite dunnit to pack bag! hahaz. lik tt lorx. tmr den pack. nth to bring oso. okie. let's tok abt todae. todae wen sch. i wen to class early in de mornin. put dwn bag n den go flag raising. wen back for norm lessons n go assembly. aft assembly, wen out wif chuan linn to eat kfc den walk walk awhile den go home.. get ready for tmr's duty!
我.爱.水.母.头
22:19 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
29th March 2005
todae i m tired.. plainly tired.. i dunno y oso. mayb sundae cry too much den pas 2 daes nvr slp well bahx. i wen into clas. very tired. wan slp le. den i open close open close my eyes.. can't fall aslp. cos is onli de first lesson! where gt pple first lesson wan slp one? den tahan til 8am. FINALLY! can't stand it le. i decided to slp... i wanted to slp for 10mins onli.. initially.. cos 8:10 chng period. but in de end, i din succeed. i slp all de wae til 8:30. sumore is my fren wake me up one.. so pai seh. tcher ask me y i so tired.. i jus say nth. den cont lie on chair n slp.. initially was lie on table. den my whole class laugh at me.. *sobx sobx* nvm lorx.. cont to listen to tcher n tok to my fren.. awhile ltr, more den half de class slpin le.. den i slp again! lolx. slp till lesson ends.. den alot of pple ask for permission to go toilet.. den tcher allow.. me oso go norx. wash my face. nxt lesson.. chemistry! can't slp! if slp, sure die one.. i forced myself to wake up. lucky de lesson end very fast. tt tym was rainin.. all our class windows were opened.. wind blew strongly. our fans were on to high spd: 5. our classrm situated at lvl6. very cold! [even on hot daes.. our fans cn on spd 3.. we feel cool enuff le!] wah~ sky dark dark.. strong wind blowin.. fan on to high spd = NICE ATMOSPHERE FOR SLPIN! but den MT.. we din slp. followed by recess.. me call isabel to buy food for me.. hw nice..jus haf to sit at canteen gt food to eat le.. den con't nxt half of de daes' lesson. todae took back report card.. or shld u call tt paper? den no chemistry structured revision.. bio onli until 3:15.. tcher cut short for us!!! yeah!!! *claps claps* todae is such a WONDERFUL dae! bio lesson.. we cn listen to songs.. haiz. y out of all de tyms.. nw play de sad sad song?! make me wanna cry.. song titled: every heart by BoA. tt MVP song. haiz. miz jia min.. zaharah.. soonie.. peik shin... sheng hui etc etc.. OPSCOM!.. hai hui i everydae c in sch.. so nvm.. okie todae bio solve genetic qns.. quite easy larx.. me jus dun understand sum of de qns n dunno hw to phrase my ans.. 2nd to go off.. quite gd. den i took bus home.. buy chocolate.. sigh.. make me wanna cry again.. c MnM tink of zaharah. c pocky tink of sheng hui.. c lollipop tink of jia min.. c winnie de pooh biscuits tink of lina.. haiz.. nwadaes very 'weak' sia! little bit wan cry le. okie.. til here. byez~!
我.爱.水.母.头
18:04 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Monday, March 28, 2005
28th March 2005
todae is a mondae which i feel n act very diff fr other mondaes... sumhw i dunno hw to explain. mayb too 'traumatized' by wat happen ytd.. haiz. dunno hw to explain myself.. even til todae, til dis moment.. i stil cn cry norx.. haix. sim lik i m nt able to get over it. todae in sch, i nvr listen to tcherS.. nt even a single lesson! nt even a second! every moment in sch, i m tinkin of OPSCOM n de tyms we spent together.. n while i tink.. i rite it on a piece of foolscap. dunno y.. gt lotsa tinks to rite. i spent de whole dae.. ritin.. except for geog lessons.. i copy notes.. but i dun sim to get anitink into my brain. i was too tired.. too sad.. my heart n soul n brain nt inside class. gt flu n headache.. can't concentrate. i feel very weak.. todae i din smile to ani of my frenx xcept for isabel.. i was very very quiet in class. nvr once dis quiet in my entire life.. nvr ans tcher anitink oso.. wen tcher ask me qns.. i either ans so softly tt tcher can't hear or ans half-wae.. moz of de tym i din tok. i was starin at tt blank piece of foolscap.. ritin ytd experiences.. sheng li si bie si ren sheng bi jing de.. haiz. y does it haf to happen on me??? todae break record sia! nvr tok more than 50 sentences.. kies.. den aft sch, gt oral. wait for very long tym. until abt 5 den is my turn. oral diden tok much oso. nt in de mood to tok. tcher ask me wan tok anot.. i sae dun wan le. lolx.. heyz! tts ur prelim marks lehx xinyi!!! wat de hell r u doin?! aft tt, came home.. bathe, eat dinner n online! den blog lorx.. feel lik bloggin ytd tinks.. but dunno where to start.. haiz. can't b able to express myself.............................................. *sobx sobx*i wanna hug u n nvr seperate. i wanna hold ur hands nvr to let u go. i wish to hold ur hands foreva. can i?
我.爱.水.母.头
21:43 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Sunday, March 27, 2005
27th March 2005 [laz mitin as OPSCOM!]
haiz. so sad. todae is de laz mitin of OPSCOM le! hw i wish tym cn really stop dis min n let me stay like dis 4eva.. dun bear to leave :'( .. *sobx sobx*. i was busy wrapping 'presents' and ritin letters de nite b4. all de wae to 3am. i wanted to gif dem sth. hahaz. so tt dey cn remb me. sumhw, i managed to rite sth to ea. of dem FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. i oso managed to remb wat ea.of dem lik. okie. but i forget to buy pocky for sheng hui. SO SORRIE!aft all de 'wrappin' n ritin, i wen into de blog. suddenly haf alot of tinks to rite. i had a feelin which i nvr had b4 in my entire life. i dunno hw to describe it. tt tym, onli jia min n daniel were online. i tok to dem. was tellin jia min tt i dun wanna let go of her hands. wat if tmr i dun bear to let go? i wil follow her home. lolx. jkjk. was oso tellin her tt mux take toilet rolls fr sub. 3 rolls. 1 for soonie. 1 for sheng hui n 1 for peik shin. hahaz. dey wil sure cry de norx. *hinx hinx* go c my 26/3/05 blog bahx. aft bloggin, it was 3:30am. okie. off i go! den pack my tinks for tmr. a big event! tt oso mark de end of us in OPSCOM. Colour Commissionin is de last parade tt we cn go together as OPSCOM. jia min, de escort for zaharah. sheng hui, peik shin, soon eng n me were together marching in de GOH contigent. this is my first tym marching n i gt to march in GOH sumore in such a big event! okie. aft packin, i jumped onto my bed. hweva, i realised tt i culdn't slp. kinda excited n sad abt todae tinks. i listened to discman n allow myself to fall alslp. woke up at 10++.. suppose to wake up at 11:45. stil early lorx. onli haf to mit at 12:30. i woke up n can't slp animore. but i m tired. force myself to slp while more. i promised zaharah tt i wil slp 7hrs. but i din manage to do it. abt 11:05 msg lina. she agreed to teach me math mahx. den i rush out of de hse aft bathin at 11:30am. dis wil b de last tym tt we'll b mitin. *sobx sobx*. wasn't realli tt happie but i try to b as happie as i cn. den we wen to de other block cos sub haven open yet. [de place near playground]. abt 12 plus, we wen back to sub. pas yu ling de gloves. saw soonie n jia min. so sad tt dis is de las parade together. we treasure it very much. jia min, soonie, weiting n me bought/make tinks for OPSCOM. weiting gave me 2 ice-cream sticks. one named SELINA, micely decorated. de other one, OPSCOM 2004. oso very nice. de wordings 'SELINA' n 'OPSCOM 2004' were made of macaroni. yar. stil gt 1 sweet. de apple ring. den we wen into sub to get ready n chng full-u. sheng hui, jia min, soonie n me wen into a small rm, opposite our mitin rm, to chng. cos toilet too many pple le! den zaharah help us guard door. i purposely sae dose disgusting tinks to make everybdy laugh. i sae: dis is de last chance to look at ea. other le! let's lk bahx! lolx. all de 5 of us laughed. okie. finish chngin le. wen out to pack den fall in at de void deck. awhile later, we set off to yio chu kang stadium. sir ding jun gave de trainees lollipops. den li mei took one big bunch [two handsful] for all de instructors. she put on my hand. den dey all take. stil gt 8 more. put inside my pocket. den off we go. in de bus, we kip 'fightin' wif ding jun. tellin him tt all instructors haven take lollipops. he dun gif us. den 'fight n fight', finally he gave us. he said ea. take 1 but we took 2 instead. lolx. he dosen noe tt. den we tok tok, play play n reach le. de stupid big gate nvr open. we haf to walk thru a small rotation gate. which is very de HEAVY! den we sit dwn.. slack n wait. den haf fun n took alot of photos. play play play n i called dem to rite my diary. [haven rite finish yet!] okie. saw lilian!!! soonie was de one to ran over. i tot wat happen. she suddenly ran n nvr tell us where she gg. i ran to find her immediately. den i saw lilian. call all NCOs go c her. cos i noe dey wanted to. aft tt, wen for 1 round of marching. den slack ard again cos rainin. den slack til full-dressie rehearsal. den go lorx. den cum back rest rest awhile den go for real parade. it was rainin all de while. we stood in de rain. de whole shirt wet.. osak wif sweat n rain. it smells lik hell.. de wind blow.. was shiverin in de parade. very cold n i dun haf energy le.. fr mornin til de parade tym nvr eat. luckily nt obvious. i dun wan b de first one to fall out man! okie.. den parade end le. very tired. can't stand up. i squat weneva i haf de chance. wen to fall in at de track. den collect colour belt n gloves fr trainees. den wen back to de grandstand n take our tinks. i was shakin hands wif pei yi. lik mad pple sia! we long tym no c le. den sir colin saw. he said: stop ur shakin of hands. quickly move off. lolx. den we part le norx. took our tinks n de big big bag of colour belts n gloves. den go back sub le. 7:15. haihui was at sub waitin for us at 6:40. she told me tt. sandy was oso dere. den we wen back sub n take photos wif colour belts. aft tt, off we go! for dinner. quite alot of pple din join us. de OPSCOM las mitin. haix. aft dinner, haf huggin session. jia min de first one to cry. den peik shin den me. me n jia min hold hands for de one las tym! was at s-11. purposely ask daniel walk to interchng. so tt cn haf more tym to hold her hands. fr de coffeeshop.. me cry til i go home. i was laughin, crying, sweatin n chasin daniel! hahaz. me n jia min alwaes hold hands n chase daniel n hit his bag. too bad we dun succeed dis tym. haix. den me reach interchng le! stil cryin norx. can't stand it.. haiz. den sheng hui, hai hui, sandy n daniel wen off first. den all of dem wait for me to go off den dey go take 99. while waitin for bus.. zaharah called. she tok to us. we stil cry norx. haiz. so sad. tym for me to go! den off i go.. up de bus cryin. pple in de bus tot wat happen.. me lose face sia! maluated.. i cry til i reach home. eyes red red. avoid lkin at parents. lik tt lor. bathe, pack n slp! tmr gt sch. haix. we ended dis wae. hope tt we will haf chance to mit again. dis is de longest blog ever.. til here~ tired! byexz..
我.爱.水.母.头
23:59 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Saturday, March 26, 2005
26th March 2005
my heart is achin badly.. lik sum kind of sharp knife pierced thru my heart, a knife which has jus bin sharpened... causin de wound to b bleedin profusely.. as mins passed.. it wil jus con't its bleedin n makin de wound deeper den original. nth cn stop de bleeding. it wil con't to bleed foreva.. tym wil remain stagnant n brain wil stop functionin dis very min.. to remb all de tyms tt we had together.. OPSCOM ROX! wonder wat wil happen tmr. jus lik wat i tell jia min.. mayb we wil hug each other n cry lik mad.. jus lik dose drama serial.. sendin pple off at airport.. lik xiao xi can't c duan cheng feng.. [really sounds lik]. we wil hold our hands.. nvr to let go.. i m loss for words which cn describe my feelins nw.. really feel very hurt as mins pass... tmr.. we'll b gg for our last parade together n end off here... mayb our last tym holdin hands.. de feelin will nt b de same aft sum tym.. mayb we won't even hold each other's hand in de future.. bleed..bleed..bleed.. I M HURT!!! *sobx sobx*
我.爱.水.母.头
11:59 |
* to memories that i relieve*
25th March 2005
haiz. sumtyms it takes too long to dl a song. and onli if i m lucky.. to dl songs.. dere r dunno how many thousand of songs tt i wanna dl.. haiz. at de rate it is gg. dun tink able to finish dis one.. ou ruo la by zhang shao han.. i wan shou xin de tai yang by her oso. den dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui.. y pple wil onli cherish tinks wen dey lost it? i m so puzzled. but it is tru.. jus lik hw i understand tt wat a child wans is to haf a complete family.. i onli truly understand dis sentence erm.. bout laz yr??? but i dun sim to cherish it. wen pple tell me to cherish my family, cherish dis.. cherish tt.. i wil alwaes ai ya... lik dis lik tat. i dunno wat wil happen wen de real tym cums.. lately.. dunno y pple kip tellin me to cherish my family. mayb tts a signal tt god send to dem n tell me indirectly??? hmmx. u shld noe wat i tinkin bahx.. hope it wulden b tru doh. i tot about it. if i were to lose dem.. i stil cn live.. wil b abit sad larx. but me so cold blooded pple.. cn pick up myself quite fast. i m so numb to de word 'die' tt i dunno wat it feels lik.. i hope to leave de world.. so tt i dunno wat pain.. anger n sufferin is all abt.. won't c sad tinks n wun cry. to b alive is sufferin n tormentin. but i oso dun wanna a painful death. live is much more worse den death?? i'm HURT.. HURT n VERY HURT.. haiz.. physically n emotionally. all abt st.john.. haiz.. xxxxxx y alwaes it? me tried to polish my boots jus nw.. it makes me wanna cry.. *hinx hinx* y de boots polish here.. polish dere oso nt shiny one? gif nt enuff love to dem? aniwae i 've given up.. haiz. tmr den polish. i was at it for at least 1 hr. im tired.. plain tired.. dead tired.. tt i wan to forget everytink. haiz..tmr wil b quite a busy dae.. cousin cumin.. mus rite letters.. mus do hw.. mus polish boots.. y i sensed tt pple is leaving me one by one? haiz. wen i nid pple to tok to.. dey r jus nt dere. sigh. nvm.. tok to u lor.. bloggies.. hmmX. i rote sth to encourage myself. taken fr mvp.. xiao xi n cheng feng: bu yao qing yan fang qi, fou ze dui bu qi zi ji. its quite a gd phrase. mux remb worx! *tru luv is all abt sacrificin n wishin each other happiness.. nt 'chop' tt person n make him/her stay wif u.. no pt if de person is wif u but de heart nt wif u..*
我.爱.水.母.头
00:54 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
23rd March 2005
0oh.. i 8 plus open dis pg til nw. tym-10:50. haiz. no tym arhx. me jus finished my MT hw. later go do EL oral den cn slp le.. phew! finally cn slp early todae. looking forward to a better tmr..dis few daes de weather very hot. i kip sweatin.. worst at nite.. lik jus cum out fr swimmin pool. rashes all over my neck. i scratch til my neck red red. like jus drank beer.. lolx. b4 slpin, me wil drink 4 cups of cold water.. lik tt den feel beta. okie.. tym to on air con nw!haiz. me feel _______. i dunno watta word inside tt blank. dunno wat word to rite n dunno hw to describe it. my nicks in msn were sort of de same. if u look closely at my 2 msn nicks.. it is ard de same topic. sumtyms i wish tt i haven noe u at all. it is very painful to part lik tt n to 'witness' tt u actually dun care abt me animore.. wat cn i do except to cry n feel hurt?? +pain+ all ova de places. esp in my heart. cn sumone heal me? tt sumone.................... *a broken heart wil nvr b mend* *pieces joined back together wil nt b perfect animore*hmmX. todae my 2nd dae. wen to sch in a hungry stomach. but dun feel hungry once i step into sch til all de wae til 3 plus. wen tcher release us. dunno y lehx.. i feel tt sumtyms sch cn b fun while sumtyms sch suckx! a pain in my stomach.. hahaz. nt exactly tt place.. but dunnit to b so precise. took PE wif de pain. den aft PE.. my stomach pain til i wan to pengx. nobdy cn c larx. todae pain whole dae le. nw abit okie.. 2nd dae is lik tt one larx. it wil b fine aft a while. hmmx. me n my 3 other frenx oso kena tt tink. hahaz. sure we r gd frenx worx! de type of feelin is cumin back to me.. same as wat i experience in January. but nw ish beta. tt tym really gonna go bonkers le! hmmx. todae feel so calm cos fridae is a holidae! dunno y aehx. 0h ya.. suppose to polish boots todae. but i tink tmr den do larx. nw wan slp le. byez. todae watch at dolphin bay [hai tun wan lian ren]. very nice. de intro sumhw de same as qiu tian de tong hua. tt gal in de story very cute.. i mean de young one. she go take awae her toy dolphin's eyes. she sae: if de dolphin dun haf eyes. it cant c all de sad tinks in de world. den it wont feel sad nor cry.. me so touched.. i cried wif de 2 kids.. hahaz. den de grown up of de 2 kids is zhang shao han! n xu shao yang.
我.爱.水.母.头
20:38 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
22nd March 2005
hmmX. todae finally 'fullmoon'. miz las mth. de las tym til todae is 1mth 23daes. it all happened during MT. okie~ at last. but..... i hate dis!!! dun lik de feelin of _________. todae is also my pri sch form tcher b'dae. whereva she may b.. jus wanna wish her HAPPIE B'DAE! okie. tmr is my another cousin b'dae. hmmx. my family gettin BIGGER.. thus wil have pple b'dae 'everydae'. hmmX. bin online 4 de past few daes. wanted to blog. sumhw.. or rather dunno watta blog. den end up nvr blog. cos i dun lik short bloggies.. ytd 1/3 to blog. but i on everytink le. den cum into postin le. end up oso nvr blog cos too busy. sundae nite slpt late.. abt 2 plus.. den wake up at 5 plus.. 3 hrs of slp onli.. where gt enuff..... ytd nite almoz de same tink. at least abit early.. 1 plus.. haiz. zhen xing ku. todae cn hardly kip my eyes open. *slpin* kena caught to read passage by eng tcher.. den ans qns by chem tcher n math tcher.. haiz. nt a gd dae for me. sae until de math tcher part.. i wanna complain abt her! wah kao! she call us bring txtbk ytd den she do tys. todae she call us bring tys.. she do txtbk. siao! cos me can't do hw in clas. nxt tym dun listen to her le larx. i so damn angry todae lorx!!! todae is a super long dae. later gotta complete bio den cn slp. haiz. ytd got back geog pper. 16/25. y dun i sim to improve??? todae gt back MT, math n bio. Mt get 83.5 /100. haiz. standard oso drop. a-math gt 23/40. haiz. all cos of careless mistakes.. 6 marks gone!!! STUPID ME! I HATE MYSELF! CN I KILL MYSELF?! bio stil okok. gt 30/40. an A1. but nt satisfied lehx. 30/40 very low lehx. mus get 32 den comfortable.. haiz. overall, nt very happie wif my performance. i wil fully concentrate on my sch work!!! haiz. dis sundae wil b de laz tym tt we cn mit. i dunno wat to sae. so loss for words. stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!+stress!STRESSstress abt lotsa tinks.. dunno how to sae.. dunno who to confide.. dunno wat to start wif. hw. sch life. cca. tests!til here. byez~
我.爱.水.母.头
22:32 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Saturday, March 19, 2005
19th March 2005
hmmX. jus came back fr class chalet at coasta sand.. tired nehx. ytd.. mit de class at 2:30. den we wen giant buy food. 4:40 den leave tat place. very late le nehx. den we took train n go dere.. wen we reach, we start BBQ. b4 tat, shini, mahirah, kok kun, jeremy n me wen walk walk. saw a playground. ok lor.. go back n eat. though dere were sum unhappiness, we were okie.. den we took alot of photos n BBQ till a lil aft 12mn. den me n shini sit on a bench n chat. chat till 1 plus. shini n me decided to go beach. den we sit dere c stars. suddenly, I C A SHOOTING STAR!!! we made wishes. i realised tat i was so lucky to b de first one to c. even if i dun make wishes, it wil stil bring me luck. den we walk walk n go back at 2.. start to queue for bathing. bathe le.. me n mahirah play scrabble til 4 plus.. den wait for shini to wake up at 4:45. den we sit outside on one bench n chat a lil n look at tinks. we were de onli ones who were up n abt.. de rest of de chalets.. all pple slpin. den we saw one RABBIT! so cute! so big! so fat! so white! den.. ben n edmund came back fr 'sauna'.. no larx. deir hot water bathe. so ke lian. we all galz take turn to bathe den de guys wait till 4-5am den go public toilet to bathe.. onli calven manage to bathe in de chalet toilet.. cos queue too long! qiu kun jus finished bathin at 5. ben helped to take pictures of de rabbit. tat place lik animal farm. gt cats walkin.. mice or rats chasing each other.. sumore 1 big 1 small.. so cute! den gt cockroach.. fr our door. den gt RABBIT! so cute! so fun! at 5, me, shini n mahirah wen to beach.. wanted to watch sunrise. den wait til 6. sun haven rise.. me slp le. too tired.. wen i wake up, it is 6:50.. very late le. hmm.. de sky is bright n i haven c de sun. de weather was very cold. me kip shivering. den me n mahirah sit on de beach lorx. enjoy awhile. siao ting came to find us n den we wen back into de chalet.. wah~ all can't take it.. too tired le. all slp le. de air con very cold. den mahirah oso slp. c her slp so sweetly, dun bear to wake her up. me slowly pack n do my tinks first. let her slp. den later i lie on de bed n fall aslp. wen i wake up, 8:45.. omg! i woke her up n we wen home. byez 4e6! u guys were still slpin wen we left. we took 196 0r 197 to bedok interchng den take 30 home. de journey was long.. i slp til i blur blur. den b4 mahirah alight.. she woke me up. i nvr slp le. me do tinks.. alighted at market bus-stop to eat sth den walk home. reach home, bathe, do sum hw n slp. initially, wanted to slp 4 2 hrs. but in de end.. overshot. slp til 7 plus.. slpt for 5 hrs!!! omg! tonite gt quite alot of tinks to do. tmr gt colour commissioning trainin.. haiz. dreadful. term 2 starts.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:17 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Thursday, March 17, 2005
17th March 2005
STRESSED.. STRESS n more STRESSES is wat i feel during dis hols. ani hols b4 dis yr.. can make me so happie.. it's onli startin fr dis yr tat i dun look forward to hols. it is a dreadful tink. last tym.. even if it is a dae.. i wil b over de moon. rite now.. i hope tat everydae cn b a sch dae. NO HOLIDAES AT ALL!!! NT EVEN 1 DAE in 365 DAES! feelin so stressed out during de hols. wat is de use of hols den? maybe u cn sae tt my management of tym is nt gd. i dunno hw to plan my tym properly. in dis hols.. i haf heaps of work to b done. cos of tat Mrs Siew.. gif us lotsa hw.. haiz. nw de workload look lik MT Everest! i really haf no more tym to do my hw! i wan to play.. i wan to enjoy myself in de hols.. jus lik others.. but it sims tt i can't. y? wat's happenin? seriously.. i feel tat dis hols is de worst hols tat i've ever had.. but it's my fault.. de first dae of hols.. tat saturdae.. gt colour commissionin trainin. den reach home very late. very tired to do anitink. den wait til sundae.. i packin my rm.. hopin tat i cn haf a gd environment for studyin.. but den.. i haf no chance to. my mum asked me out for picnic. but i didn't enjoy myself. all de while.. i was tinkin of de 'mountain' at home. how to enjoy myself??? den reach home.. oso very tired. nvr do. wait til mondae. i forgt wat i did in de mornin. okie.. finally started hw at evening. done wif physics, and double math. okie. tt was pretty quick. tuesdae. i din get chance to do ani hw. wen K box wif frenx. i promised dem to go. can't break promise. but once again, i was also stressed. though i looked happie. sang my heart out. aft tat, wen home. at nite. was very tired. lost my voice. nvm. den i sit dwn to do hw. eL wkbk. finished it. den slp. wednesdae. in de mornin.. wen for peer tutorin. 2 hrs. 8am til 10:30am. den reach home.. slp for 2 hrs.. revised chemistry. all de way. thursdae. todae.. wen to sch. for e-math lesson n chem test. den later go eat.. nw doin 2 compres.. fridae.. tmr.. wil nt haf tym to do hw. cos gg chalet. stay overnite. den saturdae.. cum home do nat geog.. den prepare for tmr. sundae wil haf colour commissionin trainin.. haix. dere goes my hols. u nvr hear my chn hw rite? i really dunno wen gt tym to slot it in n do..i find tat durin hols. tcher tend to take adv of it n GIVE MORE HW! AFT DE COLOR COMMISSIONIN, I WILL SACRIFICES EVERYTINK JUS FOR MY STUDIES! [LIK WAT I DID IN SEC 2] I WAN TO WORK HARD N GET MY As! I SAY IT N I MEAN IT! sumtyms i really wonder if i've made de correct choices.. sumtyms i really yearn for a break [to leave everytink n really rest]..sumtyms i really wish to shrink awae all de duties n responsibilities.. sumtyms i really wan to shout: tchers! dun gif so much hw k?!de word in de end: SACRIFICE!
我.爱.水.母.头
22:35 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
15th March 2005
hmm.. todae had a happie dae. wen to K box wif desmond.. chau.. randy.. isa.. ros n nini. as usual. i was de last to reach. nw my practice is: alwaes late!!! i reached abt 2:30. den we wen 7-11. dey ate n buy drinks.. randy n des lik 'little children'.. go sit on de wat call it? de tink tat kids sit on den put coins n de tink can move! wah~ i laughed non-stop. okie.. aft tt, we wen up le.. dere were onli 7 of us.. sing till voice hoarse. de rm was very cold. me wen to toilet 4 tyms.. isa 'tot' my bladder gt prob. wah~ sth funni happened. de 3 guys sing de shin yue tuan song [si le dou yao ai].. suppose to b high pitched.. but dey sing nt high pitch BUT high volume.. it was damn funni.. all de gals laugh till pengx. sang alot of songs. all my fav songs oso gt sing. all high pitch ones.. lolx. at first stil cn reach.. but last few cannot reach le.. no voice. den lik tat lorx. des n chau wen at bout 5 plus.. me wen bout 7:15. den reach home at 8:15. tmr mus prepare to get a earful fr mama. cos my hw nvr finish.. sianz. tmr stil haf peer tutoring! mus chiong tonite.. til here. byez!
我.爱.水.母.头
20:28 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Monday, March 14, 2005
14th March 2005
haiz.. y muz dis tink happen nw? out of all times. make me dunno how to react.. contradicting myself.. y? y? y? cn anione out dere gimme an ans??? i've bin feelin troubled by it very lately.. n IT CAME THRU TODAE!!! no pt preparin few daes b4. cn we dun split up tat wae? it wun b gd for anione of us.. we wil all lose de battle n feel hurt in de end.. i often tink of how we used to b [so happie] in de past.. y can't we all go back wat we used to b. although we haf our own workload, at least we encouraged n helped one another. suffered together n shed tears together. i tink a moment of quietness is wat we nid.. or maybe we will nt b together again .. nt now.. not ever.. nt foreva..driftin apart.. it wuld b a pain too much for us to bear..yar.. enuff of tat le.. breaks my heart so much.. wat chng u to becum lik tat? nvm.. dun feel lik tokin abt it.. todae did nth much.. onli read one story bk.. n nw do hw.. wait till i back fr tmr Kbox n mayb pasar malam den tell u all more bahx.. too tired to type anitink nw.. i m TORMENTED..
我.爱.水.母.头
21:44 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Sunday, March 13, 2005
13th March 2005
hmm.. todae woke up at 10 plus.. den eat cup noodles n watch mvp. haix. my lips swell n bleed a little. so sad. very pain oso. aft tat, me wen inside bed rm n finish readin my story bk. den 'spring clean' my rm.. wahh.. gt rid alot of tinks!!! my rm haf more space for my bks. i haf lotsa waste pper lorx.. very regret tat i din pack my rm last sundae.. if nt, cn haf more ppers for cranes. aft tat, wen for picnic wif my family.. nt very fun larx. haix. tied dwn wif lotsa tinks.. how can enjoy..? den came home n bathe nw watchin mvp.. nice show. dis is de most romantic story i've ever watched. hmm.. did nth much todae. mus focus on my studies startin fr TMR!!! til here.. i wanna watch mvp liaox! byex...i*dun*wanna*regret*
我.爱.水.母.头
21:29 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Friday, March 11, 2005
11th March 2005
My class folded 3000++ cranes!!! u may tink we siao.. but i tell u.. WE HAF CLAS SPIRIT!!! hehex. i stil remembered.. dere was onli 1 hw ytd. obviously i nvr do math larx. eng i finish it in 15 mins tym. den fold pper cranes til 1++am den slp. de dae b4, in sch, i help cut pper startin fr phy period onwards. den durin recess, ben taught me how to fold cranes. den gt de hang of it VERY SOON! den we go teach more pple. we kip foldin. durin assembly.. stil foldin. ms chow brought one stack of pper for us. n later wen market eat.. ate onli ice kachang. i stil foldin. aft tat, wen back sch.. me, ben n kok kun sit inside library fold. aft tat, kok kun 2 frenx, samantha n sharolyn[dunno if correct spelling anot.. sori if it is rong.] oso help us fold. contribute to our class. den we go outside library de bench dere aft it closes. we kip foldin. wen we were abt to go home, it RAINED!!! den we sit at foyer continue foldin lorx. later shini, wai wah n xiuling release fr their CCA le den sit dwn n fold together. we realised tat we dun have enuff pper. i wen general office n take one whole stack of class lists n cut!!! dere was abt 50 i tink.. i mean pieces of pper. each piece can make abt 4-6 cranes. den later i realised tat we can finish doin in sch.. den ask ms chow for another stack of pper. n we finished it!!! pro sia! we do til 7 at nite den go off. at bus stop n in bus, i kip cuttin pper for xiuling n she kip foldin. lolx. den at nite i fold lorx. my mum contributed 10 lik tat. den bro 2 to my class. 0oh ya.. samantha n sharolyn took alot of ppers home n help us make oso. thnk q. ytd nite, me find all my used pper.. den bring to sch todae to make cranes. gd sia! fr de moment i cum out fr toilet.. i kip foldin.. non stop til 1 pm. de collection tym. my whole class contributed. early in de mornin, ms chow gave us 2 physics period to fold. my whole clas was damn quiet. all foldin cranes. very guai. she called us do admin stuff.. we anihw do.. den make cranes again. den onli SS nvr fold lorx. math.. ms tiong sae dun fold but i stil folded. kip ans her qns todae.. so she dun get suspicious. lolx. den later recess.. whole class nvr eat. den we fold together. lolx. den chemistry, mrs sudheeran dun let us fold. but our whole class dun care. i observe qiu kun grp. her row all fold cranes under de table. sit til so stil.all pattern same. suhua BEST! she can fold wif her hands behind. lolx. i hide behind nisa n fold. she suddenly called my name.. i scare by her sia! tot she wan scold me.. she ask me tinks onli.. heng.. den con't foldin. thruout her lesson, i folded 7 cranes. den chn lesson, jus fold lorx. dun care her.. gt listen can le. she wan confiscate my cranes.. den i jus take de whole plastic bag awae.. hahaz. k lorx. aft sch.. was de moz funni part. we ran out of pper.. during recess, she jus gave us another stack.. but we finished it! she gave us about ht:5cm of pper. den i go round de clas. take all dose used pper. gd sia! den go recycling box take n fold. lolx. den at 1 plus, my class den go dwn to hand in. we were de last class to go dwn n we folded de moz no. of cranes!!! kies. i kip talkin abt foldin cranes... u all read til sian bahx. but no choice.. tats wat i do todae. aft sch.. wen to canteen eat den go train my sec 2s. wah~ i can't stand dem. kip askin me wat tym de trainin ends.. haiz.. wat to do.. actually i wan train dem better footdrill. but den.. haix.. basics oso dunno.. haix. how are dey goin to make it to advance dis yr? haiz.. tired of doin dese.. mayb i really shld g... u.??? dunno wat dey goin to do. jus dun feel lik trainin dem. once tym is up.. all dey tink of is goin hom. even if dey r dere oso no use. their hearts are nt dere. so let dem off. if dey con't lik dis, i can tell dem: U R NT GOIN TO MAKE IT THRU ADVANCE! i make all de efforts to train dem.. dun feel tat they appreciate.. might as well nt gif xtra tinks.. i oso human.. i busier than u r.. i m more tired den u r.. forget it.. sae so much oso no use. it's nt goin to chng tinks. i wil tink of wat to do nxt. BAKA! wen home early todae.. den slack till nw..xinyi*feel*lik*givin*up*..do*u*wan*it*..choose*urself*bahx*..if*u*dun*appreciate*wat*i've*done*..i*dun*c*ani*pt*in*puttin*in*effort*jus*for*u.kies..till here. dose who look at my blog.. dun b offended.. it may nt b u..
我.爱.水.母.头
21:10 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
9th March 2005
haiz.. sch life sucks to de core.. wat more can i blog? everydae go sch.. study..study n more studies.. den after sch.. remedial.. remedial n more remedials. haix. sumtyms tcher teach de tinks i oso nt interested lorx. but dun seem to noe y.. dis few tests, i seem to improve. hehex. sooo... theory + experiment saes: dun listen in class.. den study at home is beta.. so everydae in class, i slack. if nt.. slp. dese few daes i slpin in class. den tcher call us rite notes, i jus rite. pro sia!enuff of it le larx. jus here to sae gd news: my chem gt 9.5/15. sad sia! is a B4. but gt improve horx. den e-math.. tremendously improve.. 77/100. lik tat lor. math gt more achievements. todae a-math.. okie larx. sort of easy. but sure fail. cos nvr do lotsa markx. den dis is de first tym i can do rel vel qns. again.. i nvr listen in class wen tcher explain. again.. theory + experiment: dun listen in class.. den study at home. is dis 'theory + experiment' thru? k larx. u go judge urself bahx.. til here~ byez~
我.爱.水.母.头
20:24 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Monday, March 07, 2005
7th March 2005
w0ot~ todae so happie! i m over de moon. so y m i stil sittin here bloggin? cos i jus jump dwn fr de moon. [jus nw was over de moon]. k larx. tell u y i so happie (: bahx. cos dis is de first tym ever since i step into sec 2, i take A1 for my e-math. though is onli e-math, i oso very happie le. i will try to maintain dis grade. n work hard for my a-math. ultimately, i tink a-math more impt bahx. dis mornin ms chow tok to me.. haiz.. stupid tok. she helpin me to get CCA pts lorx. but i really dunno wat i can do other than doin 30 CIP hrs n get 1 pts. hope tat de sgt rank can count in. lik tat den can get 10 pts.. haix. my whole family tink i stupid. focus so much on CCA pts. but i nt so stupid lorx. their tinkin is so.. wat u call it??? stagnant.. brain is square one. onli can turn certain wae. nt lik mine.. can tilt a lil. [mine is round. hahaz.] hayya. i stil aim for a JC.. my aim has nt chng!!! hehex. but no confidence tat i cn get in lorx. seriously.. i dunno wat i wan to b in de future.. although i aim to b a doctor. [onli gt 0.001% out of 100% posibility. lolx]. but in de actual fact, i very scared lorx. too afraid of lotsa tinks. BUT NT BLOOD.. if nt.. hw cn b a doc? haiz. de reason y i wan to b a doctor is becox can earn lotsa $$$ [my eyes shines! *ting!*] haiz. but if really let me choose.. i rather b a carefree person who dun haf to worry abt anitink. i wuld choose to b a accountant. i tink tat job quite easy. haiz. in ani case, aim for de higher, de beta..hmm.. waiting for de hols to cum by. faster!!! but i duno to dread it or to love it. whole hols oso so busy. lik onli gt 1 dae of hols. haix. stil haf to go class chalet n k box. ok larx. form of recreation activities mahx. but i m afraid of my o lvls!!! hw? wat to do? i onli noe tat if i dun start studyin nw, i wil REALLY REGRET it in de future. haiz. sum of de tinks which i dun wish to do n yet i choose it. de most dreadful tinks is: it actually haven end yet.. wat m i doin? mayb wat u said is rite.. focus on studies more! i really afraid tat i will regret in de future..
我.爱.水.母.头
21:37 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Sunday, March 06, 2005
6th March 2005
0o.o0 todae my biao jie b'dae. happie b'dae to u.. happie b'dae to u.. happie b'dae to u.. happie b'dae to u. though i noe tat u can't c my bloggies, i stil wan to wish u happie b'dae. hahaz. i nvr forget ur b'dae bahx. c hw gd m i... lolxhmm. let's tok abt todae. slp at 1 plus 'ytd nite'. todae woke up at 11:20. den bathe n watch My MVP Valentine.. so shiok. from 11:30 watch all de wae til 6:20. 7 hrs of tv marathon!!! nope.. shld b vcd marathon instead! in my whole entire life, dis is de first tym tat i watch tv for so long. sumore continuously! i mean it worx!!! i m addicted to it le! dun haf wil die! hw i wish tat everydae can b lik tat.. den aft watchin, i do my hw lorx. den prepare for my geog test tmr. haiz. i prepare til i sianx. den cum out blog n online a while. tats all for todae! cos i did nth much. gtg le. byex!
我.爱.水.母.头
20:01 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Saturday, March 05, 2005
5th March 2005
todae mornin woke up at 8 to go toilet. den i decide nt to slp animore. if nt, hw cannot do... den i jus lie dere listen to discman. den 9 wen out wif mum to haf breakfast. cum back at 10 den i watch mvp n polish boots at de same tym. den do full-u n watch another one. den pack, bathe n wen out at 12pm. on de dot. step out of hse. den bought milk to drink. dunno y suddenly haf de urge to drink milk. den later wait for bus. me kip prayin to god.. hopin tat i wont b late for de trainin. finally de bus cum at 12:16. wah~ i so scared. late for sure. den wen i get dwn de bus, dere's onli 5 mins left to 12:30 i mean.. so scared tat i ran all de wae fr bus stop to sub. obviously my stomach pain n i was pantin. i ran til de traffic lite tat part den saw trainees. dey still ask me nid to greet anot.. i sae no nid. i was tired. wen de lite turn green, i ran all de wae into sub. pple tot wat happen sia. den lucky nvr late.. stil gt pple haven chng yet. den chng le den set off lorx. wen to pa for trainin as usual. todae sun was BIG. sunlite shine till me face, leg n neck gt 'shape' [face n neck more obvious] red red black black. look lik monkey's butt. haiz. drank alot of water. den todae tym seems to pass fast. dun care le larx. can go home fast can le. den aft tat wen back to sub, chng n gt debrief.. isit wat u call it? nvm. den wen kfc to eat. talk lame tinks. aft tat, wen pasar malam walk. tian le treat me drinks. den wen walk walk ard. soonie n wei ting bought puzzle. den wen to c bags!!! i wan to buy again! haiz. nxt wk den buy. wen home at 10 plus. den buy milk to drink again. sianz. reach home, bathe den blog. til here. nitez.
我.爱.水.母.头
23:59 |
* to memories that i relieve*
Friday, March 04, 2005
4th March 2005
hmmm.. sort of sianz... sch as per normal dese daes. dun feel lik goin so early to sch. jus wanna step into sch on de dot.. 7:20am. wen de bell goes. ringgg..... lik tat beta. can slp til 6:40 at least n dunnit to read story bk in sch. haiz. but everydae oso can't. it seems to me tat i gettin lazy dese daes. my classrm is situated at lvl 6. early in de mornin lazy to climb all de wae up.. den i either go str to gallery or parade squ. depends on de dae. haiz. n usually sit dere, take out bk n dae dream.. dunno larx. jus dun lik to read tat bk. but stil haf to pretend to read it sumhw. if nt, tcher will catch. lik fishing sia!!! n oso i dun lik to read bks halfwae den put aside. jus dun lik tat. kays.. den norm lessons lorx. kun n ros are vegetarians startin fr mondae.. w0ot! me n linn suppose to fast for one month startin fr tuesdae. den end up nvr do.. hehex. dunnit to fast lar.. nt tat me dun haf determination.. dese few daes oso dun haf de appetite to eat. tats y.. no kick. i tink really mus start fastin fr 6am-6pm startin fr 1st wk of term 2!!! lik tat lorx. nw jus feelin very dehydrated. i nid water!!! n finally, i m sick of chocolates!!! i feel lik havin milk nw.. tempted by it. for de past few daes, me havin diarrhoea. haiz. stomach whole dae pain. but stil can bear it.. if really serious.. i wil really feel lik rolling onto de floor. dunno whether is de tink me n bel eat. tat dae we wen to eat. wed.. yar.. den lik tat. me start to haf diarrhoea tat dae n bel.. ytd. she strong sia!!! dis wk major events were de tests. CA wk. had my chem n e-math on wed. pretty okie. ss n chn oral todae.. oral was great!!! rate it an 8 given tat 10 was de easiest! ): haiz.. stress.. geog n eng oral on nxt mondae.. chn n a-math on nxt wed[if i rem correctly]. haiz. haven even prepare yet. tmr goin to trainin.. wat sort of hell is dis??? wen can heaven liberate me fr hell??? i doubt tat it will ever happen. we are born to repay de sins.. haiz..a-math a-math.. y are u so diff to understand??? haiz. dun make my life diff k? actually very stress lorx. tink of cannot get B3 in jus a simple test makes me very discourage to prepare for my o lvl. haiz. but i WILL NVR GIVE UP ON U!!! make my life so diff. i mus prove to u tat i can win u!!! u mux b tinkin tat i mad rite? but seriously.. sumtyms do math feel lik crying. nt too bad dis yr.. cn cope a lil larx. life & death.. here i cum!!!dis wk feel lik typin abt dis topic. dunno y.. mayb cos of de blog i jus read. http://dyingis.blogspot.com/ <== mus read hor. very nice story.. dun gif it a miz!!! n oso de bio tcher tot us sexual reproduction in animals. dese 2 tinks triggers my tots. firstly.. sae de more pessimistic one.. de DEATH. hmmm.. wat cn death b? a scary tink to even tink abt or liberation fr de sufferin on earth??? to me, death is nt at all painful. at de very least, nt painful to de one dyin.. but it is VERY PAINFUL to dose ard tat person. how is death lik? where will we go aft we die??? so curious to find out.. is dyin de end of all sufferings? no.. is nt true.. i find tat death is de beginin of another chpt. another 'life' in sum other places. which place??? i dunno.. death is sth tat a brave person will try.. everyone wans to live.. human's nature is to struggle to live, no matter how harsh conditions are. death is sth tat one will haf to go thru in de cycle of human beings.. treasure ur life n u will nt b dead.. jus crapping ard.. hahaz. tokin abt life reminds me of de bio lesson.. n nxt tuesdae, we wil b completing de whole chpt on sexual reproduction in animals. lolx. will haf fun tym in class. tokin abt life.. life is a very wonderful tink. to me. how a sperm mits n egg.. [heyz. i nt sicko.. dese are de facts fr bio horz!!!] how cell division takes place.. how a foetus grow in mother's womb. how a baby is form.. all dese are very interesting to me.. especially wen tcher tell us tat during ea. sexual intercourse, 1 million sperm is released.. how fortunate n how strong i m. to compete among de 1 million n i actually gt 1st!!! i find tat it is hard to conceive.. some of de sperm dies along de wae.. at tat moment, it realli made me feel tat i m special n fortunate. dunno y.. suddenly i felt de joy of being a parent!!! tot of hw happy (: me parents were wen dey had me! suddenly feel tat i life is VERY PRECIOUS! very optimistic abt it. how beautiful de world is.. wantin to tresure my life so much tat i hope tat god won't knock on my door n take me wif him. liFe iSn't eAsy t0 cUm bY! mUs cHeRiSh iT!
我.爱.水.母.头
22:39 |
* to memories that i relieve*