to bel: haha. i m de KIM CHI gal!!! =D bcos of u, i begin to eat kim chi too! but dun really lik it. smell nice but doesnt taste nice. =p one dae go out eat together k? so busy to even msg u nowadaes. haiz.
to shini: haha. okie. but wen?! dying to mit u n wai wah. so long nvr return to our sec sch daes. MT lesson.. disaster man! hee. =D
to ros / le: haha. nw okie liaoz. return to norm. though stil pain once in awhile. =) hmmx. i guess tt really teach me nt to eat sum stuff. i m hungry!!! sobz.
to ML: yup! u too! =D
anione can help me check wat's wrong wif my taggie?! y cant yan ping n i tag???!!! miz my tag board!! sob sob
laz fri had phy SPA. really scare my class. cos sum no long ruler n stuff. so i ask dem to borrow. den wen bell ring, i tel dem: those who din bring towel go n borrow. n dey all ask y nid towel n all stare at me wif shock face. den i tel dem: cos we are doin 'spa'. wah! so fun sia.
sat n sun work long hrs. abit sianz. den mus pay $5 on sat again. haiz. dis tym i tink is sir gif wrong chng. cos everytym sumone touch my cashier sure gt less money de lo. if i do alone, no prob. wat de! sundae nth wrong. jus nice. =) realise gt no tym for tutorial. so i did GP n chem prac preparation. den slp.
was so tired ytd. prac was a success. hip hip hooray! PC was fun. yoga. all de postures very funny. had a gd laugh. tok to Ms Chew aft PW lecture. pia alkenes tutorial at home. den slp.
todae nt so tired. tried sum phy qns. lessons were okie. lectures r real fast. civics was fun. phy go tru test pper. i gt de 5th in class. but onli 25/50. ha. farni rite. n i lost >5 marks cos i din study definitions n den complete de qns. i leave it lik tt. cos i tot de ans is wrong. but tts de rite ans. so stupid of me. had 2.5 hrs of GP which i go bonkers. nt in de mood to even do a test. den jus leave it blank. hee. den PW. at least my grp todae more organise n stuff le. hope we can cope. =))
tats all folks~
tata.
我.爱.水.母.头
19:39 |
Thursday, July 20, 2006
wat a dae.
to ML: haha. dun worry abt me k? hee. i haf my wae of de-stressing. kinda long nvr run liaoz. =p
to jiamin: i m fine wif anitink as long as i cn make it. but tell me in adv k? yup yup. i wun overwork. n i m concentratin!!! yeah! i sort of get de syllabus le! =D
okie. n yup. to myself. bin havin stomachache every mornin on my wae to sch since term 3 sch reopen or wat. cant remb wen. but dis wk is de worst. de weakest. ytd had PTI. brought my mummy go c Ms Chew n Ms Chan. omg! Ms Chan one was okie. but Ms Chew one, i stress sia. n i feel so bad for nt tellin my mummy everytink. even all de consent forms tt Ms Chew gave, i din gif her. de sch gt extended study hrs, she din noe. n de criteria for promoting to yr 2, she oso dunno. Ms Chew explain everytink to her. n she even gave a name card to my mummy. sianz. lik tt i even more stress. actually she wanted to pass it to me den gif my mummy. tinkin tt i wun gif her anitink, she go staff rm get it n gif my mummy. ha. den we wen jp. ate kfc. my treat. den wen library cos i wan borrow my stuff for pw. walk ard jp. den home for dinner!!! curry veg! ate 1 pot of it. ha. i finished almoz everytink. n guess wat?! had diarrhoea first tink in de mornin. tot was okie. so i wen to sch. wahh! haven even reach sch stomachache again. til i was sweating. wen toilet. miz de mornin assembly. okie. n it's nt i wan to s**t. dunno y, jus feel pain. phy lecture. first 1/2 hr was okie. but towards de end, i m dead. elbow pain, thigh pain n stomach even more painful! arghz! so wen canteen sit. den let bee hwee copy gp hw den i wen sick bay. wahh! u wil b surprise hw many pple are sick in one dae. n de gal who rest opposite of me had real lots of visitors. first her frenz, den her stead, n her stead's frenz. omg! 1 hr inside n i m lik dyin. de more i rest, de more uncomfortable i feel. wen for civics nxt. stil pain. nid to do real lots of stuff too. but stil cn get sum rest. lucky. break. wen to eat. where i m real hungry. ate quite alot too. haa. n dey r nt sth light. gp nxt. ate too much. stomachache again. arghz! mus copy so many stuff. but i stil copied. chem lecture. had fun in LT. listenin, understanding, explainin, n dozing off. too tired... PW tutorial. hmmx. almoz settled le. written report. hee. den phy xtra lesson. tcher wan go tru spa. tmr phy spa. gd luck man!
hmmx. i've learnt my lesson: nt eat KFC, laksa, curry n super duper spicy food durin sch daes!
conclusion: i haf very weak stomach. =x
我.爱.水.母.头
16:43 |
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
kinda bad daes. =(
haiz. wat a bad dae. studied chemistry til 12 mn. den woke up todae feelin very tired. read notes on de bus. consult ms chew in de mornin. ha. nt much qns though. todae abit de same lik ytd. but ytd more giddy. but okie in awhile. MT was readin chem notes n listenin to melisa MP3 n watching de chn show: you hua jiu shuo. den chem test. 0mg. de stupid me n de turtle me. i din do 3 pgs cos nt enuff tym. i m slow! slower than turtle, almoz surpass snail liaoz. n i cant remb all tinks i study! MCQ. a farni tink was. out of 6 qns, 5 i ans C. actually stil gt lotsa ans i noe. but i m slow. i nid more tym to tink. dis tym really die liaoz. moodless. progress report cum bac more moodless. den sumore stil gt PW written report draft 2 n EoM draft 1 due on fridae. aft sch stil gt MT listenin compre. i totallie becum bonkers. arghz!!! y is de world lik tt?!
~moodyless~ sianz.
grades:
chem~ D. this is nt wat i wanted. i've tried. very hard. i study harder and harder for each test. so disappointed in myself. i feel lik giving up on me. ~
phy~ A. include WP n AP de. nt my real grades though.
math~ A. oso gt include WP n AP.
econs~ D. sianz. i really dunno hw to score well in de sub.
GP~ C. ha. gt improvement since sec sch. shall cont to improve. hee. nt happie wif C though.
Chn~ A. as usual. no fun. i hate chn! chn i so boring! hope cn get A in A lvl.
`__ shall try harder nxt tym round.
我.爱.水.母.头
18:22 |
Sunday, July 16, 2006
stressing.
n ytd wasnt very gd either. work gettin more n more sianz. sales getting more bad. so mus deduct pay. haiz. work so hard for nth... i aldy din mit de target tt i wan to earn. sianz.
wen can i save enuff to buy myself a labby? a tv? n all de stuff tt i wan?
hmmx. i m oso tryin to save up. for uni. haiz. y is life lik tt? shall go find more part tym job nxt tym. hee. maybe one at de end of de yr..
我.爱.水.母.头
19:34 |
Saturday, July 15, 2006
hmmz.
hmmx. jus tok to ms chew n jessica. found out a lot of tinks which i 'nvr noe'.
this is wat ms chew said:
on my part i feel tt some tyms u all relli dun pay attention no matter how hard i try to control e class and the fact that i'm standin in front of u 2 and u 2 keep tokin a bit no respect.. and i will feel tat u all are jus pure not interested and since it's the case, i might as well stop wat i'm sayin and let u all tok and tok cos u gave me the feelin i'm not needed and that feels hurt at tyms..
was tellin her tt jessica n me nt alwaes tokin but everytym we tok, alwaes kena caught by her. n tts twice since term 2 til nw. ha. laz sentence really stunned me.
n dis is wat jessica said:
you noe hor i called miss chew coz tot going out on sunday to buy cake haha then she jealous.. tell asking whether so good to jun xiong why onli start at july then i say coz june is holiday mahz.. then she said nvm la can start from june oso haha so obvious she oso wan us to celebrate for her then i say next year, then she say she not sure whether next year still our ct anot [den we were 'discussin' whether she is our ct nxt yr n we wan her bac n dots. cant state here.] haha she too sensitive coz rite, i tink she has unawarely made an impact on us le juz tat maybe our class don expressed it out haha as in, i'm sure our class loves miss chew de maybe the way we expressed it is different lo k la i agree sometimes we no respect la haha tat's why sometimes i try not to tok so much lo if u got notice haha [ den we tok abt sum stuff cant copy n paste here. =p ] i tink i treat her abit like as a frien sometimes haha coz maybe age gap not big. okie. de rest all cant sae liaoz. ha. wen de tym is ripe, den i tell u. =D
hmmx. n lik tt. dunno wat to sae liaoz. tink i rite in my diary bahx. hee. i m tired. my eyes damn ugly le. sianz. i wan slp! bye. nite~
我.爱.水.母.头
00:03 |
Thursday, July 13, 2006
haiz.
n i find tt i cant speak a complete sentence in chn animore. even if i speak chn, all will jumble up. sianz. i really really lose de ability to express myself. i oso dun really lik to tok nowadaes. i prefer to smile, laugh n tink. i seriously feel very terrible cos i wan to tok. but dunno y, i jus cant express myself. everytym i wan to tok abt sth, end up i wil b replyin pple, tokin in short sentences. everytink. but nt de real tink i wan to tok abt. n nw, i find tt i cant argue wif pple animore cos i really dunno hw to tok. haiz. y is my language so bad? y cant i tok? y cant i express myself?
i find tt i m startin to understand syllabus n workin hard. i tink it's cos i scared cant promote bahx. ha. n i seriously hope i cn.
help!!!
我.爱.水.母.头
17:12 |
Monday, July 10, 2006
3 diff luck on 3 diff daes.
Saturdae nite. was havin dis 'nightmare'. i dreamt tt it was fri n i was in sch. tt dae wasnt feelin well. den dunno y it becums asthma. really gonna die liaoz. so wen to sick bay n rest. it was 1 hr break aft math tutorial. so i decided to 'slack' in sick bay. kang sheng came to offer me lunch. i rejected. den i slpt, which i culden cos was havin diff breathing. de nxt person i saw was Ms Chew. she came to ask me hw i was n i replied okie. so she gave me a stack of stoichiometry wksht which i done b4 but gt it all wrong. but she was 'kind enuff' to ask me to do de hardest n longest 3 qns durin de 1 hr break. i was lik: giving her de nt feelin well look. but she sae: dun gimme tt face. stil mus do n mus complete wifin de 1 hr. n de worst tink is tt she sit infront of me n look at me do finish. omg! i was lik flustered. n i woke up. end of my dream. omg! 3rd tym tt i dreamt of her n it's all nt a gd sign. sumore related to chemistry. i haf no confidence at all. haiz.
sundae. was a totallie suay dae. nt even a lil bit of luck. cashier. gotta compensate $5.25 for sum reasons. which i dun wan to state here. moodless. den came home, realised got lotsa hw nt done. i pia all chn n math. n i finished. slpt.
mondae. din watch world cup finals. but i slpt til 8 am den wake up cos 10 den start sch. onli manage to do sum revision on alkanes. den chiong to sch. n damn suay. de rain got very big wen i gt dwn de bus. den go to shelter, it stop. sianz. haiz. got me n my bag all soakin wet. but had a gd talk n laugh wif my classmates. yeah! so happie. den ran 4 rounds during PC to train for my 2.4 din make it in tym. nt tired oso. sianz. means i din try enuff. shall try harder nxt tym. Melisa is so nice to run wif me.
til here~ nitex. tutorial rule my dae. =(
我.爱.水.母.头
20:04 |
Friday, July 07, 2006
hw tym flies...
to jiamin: fine! wat abt u? ya lo. haiz. sianz. wan mit up sum dae? u take care too! study very very hard for ur O k? dun regret in de future. =) remb to take very gd care of ur health too! wifout health, everytink is lost. i've experienced. jia you! =D
to linn: i oso miz u! *muacks* guess we all haf bin busy. ha. wondering wen we haf tym to mit again. .. til den, take care k? i wan to c de healthy n cheerful you. =D
in de blinkin of an eye, 7 mths jus pass lik tt, wifout me doin anitink. i m getting blur. blurer and blurer each dae. surpass sotong liaoz. reaching de cutterfish standard. i guess it's too overwhelming for me past few mths. esp since end of may. other den work, i've bin studyin lik crazy n engage in alot of meaninful activities. den sch reopen. i study during de wkdaes lik crazy n work during the wkends. dun tink i cn cope animore. i nid my break. but i tink mus wait till i grow old or die den cn haf another break.
jus too many tinks to sae. stress lvl building up, tym getting lesser n lesser, me gettin older and older. b4 u noe it, i aldy haf white hair. tt is de tym wen i mus get ready a coffin. ha. n i wil leave the world very sn. ... there are lotsa tutorials nt done, PW not done, common test n promo cumin up, more tests, tutorials and activities. busy busy. hell busy.
Ms Chew asked durin one civics lesson. wat did i wan to do but dun haf tym to. [during hols.] aft lik mins of tinkin n searching, i realised tt i dun haf tym to daedream, slack, play n hangout wif frenz. n dey r wat i regretted nt doin. though i noe tt these tinks arent impt n urgent, i luv dem cos dey provide relaxation. i felt tt i din relax enuff durin hols. i m busier den sem 1. so nw, it's abit lik: i m dying.
i m tired. ... ani waes tt i cn escape fr reality? even jus for a lil lil while. i will b satisfied. =)
help!
我.爱.水.母.头
23:58 |
Thursday, July 06, 2006
hmmx...
to ros: i'm fine. nt stress. yar! i'd luv to go out too! it beats all the boring studyings... ha. jus typed out wat i felt tt tym. N i finished my 1200 words GP in a dae! yeah! *3 cheers for me!* hee.
to bel: ha. pls do nt include my workplace in taggie nxt tym kayys? =) i dun wan end up everyone go find me. hee. =) yup. yup. i wan to c u too! hw i wish we cn haf tym for each other everydae. jus lik hw we used to b. ... ha. sorry lo. nt everydae online. but u can call my hp though. i will pick up unless i slp. hee. so sorrie. hmmx. u take care too. till nxt tym...
to peishan: arhh! i oso miz u very much. OG8 too! simx lik nobdy is free for outing. haiz. hope we cn haf one at de end of the yr. ~ meanwhile, takkaire! =D
to yanping: haha. thnks woman! =D
n to my entry. sad sad. sims lik i go bac to the tinkin of first dae of sch. or even worse than tt. though i try hard nt to tink abt it, it's jus lik tt. nt i purposely wanna tink. but jus tt dunno y, it appears in my mind. even at nite wen i slp, all nitemares jus cum bac. hmmx. failin chem tests. Ms Chew throw me bac my chem pper. n all sorts of weird dreams which i haf since young. nvm abt all dese dreams. but wat bothers me is tt: sum of de dreams is exactly de same as wen i was young. sumhw or rather, i wish i cn dream abt my future. on de other hand, i really dun wish to dream wat will happen to me. it occured to me b4 tt de dream i had wen i was less den 10 yrs old, happen real life wen i was lik 15, 16. at tt tym, my head really spin. everytink is de same, tym, venue, pple, even the tinks i speak. de class tt i nw gt, is oso in my dreams. dotz.
i really really hope tt i cn escape fr reality. n i m 'currently doin that'. me in de past is nt lik tt. is until dis yr term 2 den i chng. alot. alot. to de extent tt i dun even noe myself animore. where m i? who m i? even Ms Chew noes tt i m tryin to escape probs, escape fr reality. i oso dun wan to n i dun wish to. unconsciously, i m nt living in dis world animore. i m jus tryin to b happier. i m tryin really hard to find happiness in everytink i do. but i dun feel it. n it doesnt sim lik i'm enjoyin tinks.
first tym in my 17 yrs tt i hate sch so much. to the extent tt i dun even feel lik gg. but i jus gotta drag myself dere everydae. i wun cry on de wae to sch. but i wil cry wen i do tutorials at nite. tinkin tt i haf to go to a place where i cant find happiness de nxt dae is really tough. i tried to b happy. but tinks alwaes prove me otherwise. results, sch, life and everytink else u cn find.
in search of happiness.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:48 |
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
wat a dae. sianz.
woke up feelin very tired todae. cos nite slpt late n din slp well. todae dae 2 oso. sianz. muaha. shlden tell u wat is it. =p but i guess u noe. =) wore class tee. onli jie wei din wear. haiz. nvm. alot of pple lik our class tee. yeah! first lesson. MT. sianx. i din pay attention thruout. chem lecture. haiz. everytym extend de. but chem quite interestin. i copy darn slow todae. was havin dis terrible abdominal + gastric pain. stupid. til i almoz fainted. muaha. break. i din eat. den civics. we learnt abt respect todae. haiz. civics gettin more 'fun' and yet 'boring' at de same tym. break again. ate 2 chicken. lik pig sia! darn fatternin. wen for physics tutorial nxt. BORED TO TEARS! haiz. i realised tt i cn actually score higher. i gt de correct formula. but de wrong sign or sub in de wrong value. stupid n careless me. den another 1/2 hr break. GP brought forward. hmmx. dunno y, jus feel very much lik vomitin n slpin during GP. cant even concentrate. tired. darn tired. feel so hungry aft sch. but lost all appetite. it's alwaes lik tt every mth for one/two daes. haiz. took 198 aft sch den wen to c court shoe. den go eat. ate alot. real lots. fast pace. my stomach dun feel well. hungry hungry. but no appetite. sianz. stil pain! n i feel lik throwin up.
hmmx. PW. my grp haven finish report. haiz. stress. n nxt wk topical tests. wk 6 common test. haiz. i tink gotta work triple hard. hmmx. shall nt waste tym. project work stil gt lots to catch up. wait for my nxt entry! hee. so happie tt gt class blog! nice nice. thnks to lili. hee.
我.爱.水.母.头
18:03 |
Saturday, July 01, 2006
todae's a tiring dae
我.爱.水.母.头
23:54 |