dunno why. but i jus tot of dis word. mayb tt's sometink tt i culd chng myself for de beta. tt's why de word kip popping up in my mind.
INTENTION...
dis word jus pop up in my mind during lunch time.
intention is often mistaken by others, only u urself will know wat it is deep dwn in ur heart.
lying is unavoidable sometimes. but... do u haf de conscience to lie? i dont.
after lik 14 yrs of education, i stil dun realise wat my problem is. perhaps it's becos i often dismiss de negative comments tt others gif to me.. at least, i dun do selective listening. workin in dis company made me chng a lil here n dere. i've grown. but i dun lik de grown up myself. i've realise tinks tt i haven in de past 20 years. wif de help of others ard me. esp aft graduating from JC. life lessons are more valuable than de subjects tt we learnt in sch.
sometimes, you just need to take a step back and view things from the other person's perspective.. that way, you should be able to see a lot more abt urself then others can tell you.. take some time to reflect on the things that happen everyday, and ask urself if you could have made a better decision.. and why didn't you make that better decision at that moment... that way you'll be able to change for the better... it's always better for you to realise it yourself then to have others tell you abt it.. more convincing bah.. human nature... - Ms Quek.
Dewi once said: it's cos of me tt i kip harping on de past round n round in a circle tt's why i will trap myself in a circles of unhappiness. try to chng a direction of tinking, tink towards positive and yea. i will b happy.
my boss once told me: it's my tinkin tt i kip focusing on de negative tt's why my negatives will grow. de power of mind. actually, i shld try to find positivities abt myself n let it grow.
perhaps or perhaps nt...
i no longer trust pple animore. dun ask my why, but i dun feel lik trusting anione ard me. jus becos i've bin hurt by pple once and again and afraid of being hurt for another time.
my intention wasnt tt in de first place. nvm if others dun get my intention. so long as deep dwn in my heart, i m morally correct in my tinkins, i'm sure someone will stand by me some dae.
i miz everyone ard me...
我.爱.水.母.头
21:23 |
Thursday, March 19, 2009
the stress of a working adult...
the hectic life of a working adult...
the everyday-feels-like-the-same- day of a working adult...
after working for 1 yr n 4 mths, i feel tired. work aft work, day aft day... asked myself why i did tt but i culden ans myself other then de word money. culden account to myself if it's worth it, if it's necessary.
today took a half dae off to settle my uni tinks. wen nus n sim. hmmx. but i didnt reali get my tinks settled. haiz. nid to make another stupid trip dwn. i guess dere mus b some reasons why god arrange it tt wae for me. i wont noe til de time comes.
met yan ping at sim. settle my tinks. den go west coast plaza to settle my work stuff. n we went waffle cottage to eat some snacks. cheese fries and ice cream waffle. cheese fries was superb!!! nicer than kfc one i shld sae. but de waffle ice cream wasnt to my appeal. hard and hot waffles wif cold ice cream. tt's nt a combi tt i like. if u actually separate to eat, it's nice. hmmx. nt bad an experience dere. reach home ard 4 plus. pack my room, rest n went exercising. at least todae i exercise!!! :)
yea. feel fat myself. ... aft all de eating n exercising less than 3 times a wk for abt 2 wks aldy.
sometime i feel tt becos of my forgetfulness, i brought alot of inconvenience to others. haiz...
dunno why... i feel stress once again. maybe... someone's cumin?
muaha. bye.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:10 |
Monday, March 16, 2009
yarh. i tink it's my prob alright.
it's all abt me, myself and i.
all de negative tinkings n probs ard probs ard more probs. it has a whole ballooning effect to weigh me dwn.
first time tt my face look so sian todae. even my colleagues notice tt. first tym tt my smiles becum so rare and words came out... slower than de spd of snail. jus dun haf de mood to tok todae. dun ask me why. tt's hw i actually m wen im stress.
zila kip askin if im alrite. FIRST time hear de word stress from me. well. calina ask me aft lunch why did i look so sian todae. so i jus said wat i feel. im stress to my limit aldy. yup. so aft work, i gt a chance to tok to my boss. yup n she helped me find solutions. i shld b de one doin tt but nt de other wae round. ... left de office feeling kinda positive abt it.
need time to chng. I WILL TRY TO!
YES! From todae onwards, i shall ward off de bad n welcum de good by tinkin of SOLUTIONS rather than probs and focus on de POSITIVE instead. i know it's hard. BUT I'LL TRY.
JiaYou! POSITVE! SOLUTIONS! POSITIVE! SOLUTIONS! POSITIVE! SOLUTIONS!
kayys. n YES! i'm finishing up my stuff n slp. till tmr.
我.爱.水.母.头
22:42 |
Sunday, March 15, 2009
see wat i mean. :)
this is de main road outside my hse. de broken branches blocked 2 paths.
我.爱.水.母.头
18:40 |
Saturday, March 14, 2009
- time passes fast.
- nth much to do
- tinks can finish fast?
- working in a good environment.
=)
u shld haf guess rite. haha. yes. officially, i've started work todae at thai express. 12pm - 6pm. not tt bad. nt much customers. i can get almost everytink (they taught me) fast. cos i've work in a restaurant b4. so dis to me is... chicken fee*. no 't' cos i haven learn everytink yet.
yup yup. todae i've seen alot. i can sae as compared to my job in de past, the restaurant one i'm tokin abt, it's beta. though de pay is de same, but de 'benefits' here are beta. do u know tt we dun haf to call our supervisors/managers by sir or mdm. we call them by deir names. n... dey are a friendly lot. they jus sae... take tinks slowly. if reali cant cope, jus tell dem n dey can help. anitink jus go to dem. woots! so easy. so practically i'm considered slacking todae.. :) yar. n i deir meal times is abit farni. or isit me tt find it weird? work 12-3 stil gt break in btw. me ate 'lunch' at 2 plus. deir food is... so-so. nt very nice. n i dunno why pple stil pay such a 'high' price for the food. considered ex to me. qty wise is okie. but... i wulden pay such a high price for dis kind of food? yar.
i haf a collegue, named xin jie, he oso started todae or ytd onli. omg!!! he looks so much lik Wu Chun tt i culden stop staring at him. my tian!!! he's jus so shuai! sumore, he knows how to bike. he his lots of credit cards in his wallet. cos we actually nid to use an atm card/credit card/cards wich has magnetic stripes to sign in n out. sianx.. i cant control myself if i haf a card wif me.. man! yar.. so it makes my first 3 hrs dere a very pleasant experience.
told bel ytd tt i was working at thai express. n i haf a feeling tt she'll turn up todae. n yes! i'm rite aft all. she turn up at 5pm. haha. make my dae great. but how i wish we culd go out for shoppin instead of me stuck at my work place. ... met aft my work, we chat for awhile n walk ard sheng siong b4 i came home. guess wat?! i saw de kinder joy choco tt siti n calina gaf me tt dae. per pc is $1.55 at sheng siong. cant imagine how much $$ tt siti n calina spent to gif us a choco ea. love de toy inside more than de choco though. :) aniwae, i appreciate them alot.
saw kai ting todae, my neighbour. she worked at de thai express tt i'm working at. but she left aldy. aft working for 3 mths? n she's bac to eat todae. she culden remb where i stay but recognise me. haha. newae, saw a lot of familiar faces dere. de ex workers. didnt reali lik some pple. ...
somehw or rather, i felt tt pple who kip clingin onto de past are lonely. jus felt dis wae todae n suddenly. i dunno why. ... nw i wish tt my working hrs are actually short. though i dun earn much but at least i dun feel so tired.
i dun feel lik workin animore. feel so tired rite now. changing from one job to de other. workin 2 jobs at de same time. perhaps i'm old? yes! i grow old aldy. nt lik how i used to b..
nid to tink of a wae to finance my education, my car n my life aft studyin in uni. i dunno if i shld... lost my train of tots suddenly. okayys. i shall stop here. supposed to research for my uni rather than bloggin. but i jus feel lik blogging suddenly so i came. lotsa tinks are lined up for me. perhaps i shld get a small planner n start writing every single tink dwn such tt i wun forget. cos i alwaes forget.
kayys. uni more impt. byez~
我.爱.水.母.头
20:37 |
Friday, March 13, 2009
bro's in tekong nw. hope tt everytink's well for him throughout de 2 years in dere. hope tt he has enjoyed his life to his fullest b4 todae. waiting for him to ORD, waiting for him to pass out. he'll den becum a man.
while me... tmr i m startin new work at... somewhere near. a part time one. hope tt everytink will go well for me. short term goals: work hard no matter where i'm working and study hard in a uni. hope tt i can get into a uni. :) yea. in abt a mth's time, i will be taking basic theory. n i hope i pass.
i shall retire to bed nw. muaha. tired. i dun wan to let fatigue overcome me. :)
我.爱.水.母.头
21:44 |
Thursday, March 12, 2009
all i noe is tt i'm focusing on getting into a uni. n i hope i can.
i'm afraid tt everytink will be lik laz yr. then i wont noe watta do.
didnt mean to say tt i'm tired. but i reali do.
yup. bro's getting into army tmr. so grown up is he. kinda lost larx. seems lik one person is missing from the family. wanted to see him for the one laz time n interact wif him. but i miscalculated de time for doc. so i actually haf to go todae. i hope all can be well.
went for qi gong ytd. i find tt i'm wasting time every session. nt practising hard enuff...
tink tt i've done good at de qi gong session: feeding mosquitos.
tink tt i've not done well at de qi gong session: killing mosquitos.
my leg is super itchy rite now. wif at least 20 'love' kisses on each side of my leg. i cant stop scratching even wen i'm aslp.
tried the soup spoon ytd. cream of mushroom bread bowl. n i conclude tt de CREAM of mushroom is TOO CREAMY. but the bread is nice. bread dip into soup: the best combi in de world. muaha. might b eating eat again but nt dis mth at least.
felt so hungry todae tt i ate prawn noodle n added noodle. my stomach hurts for 3-4 hrs aft tt. learnt my lesson of nt eating such a BIG bowl wen i feel hungry. hmmx. perhaps i shld go slp.
time check: 12:04am. gotta wake up at 6:35.
我.爱.水.母.头
23:48 |
Saturday, March 07, 2009
i reali dunno watta do.
wat's de prob wif me?!
reali getting tired of life.
i'm so looking forward to nxt wk. i may b tired. may b stress out. but... in de end of de dae, i might b happy. cos i can get wat i wan.
m i reali selfish? can someone tell me?
i'm reali tryin hard. jus tt pple dun c it. n I DUN CARE!!! for so long as im accountable to myself.
gif me more time pls. i'm alwaes short of tym. i dunno why. but jus short of time.
woked todae til ard 2:45pm before i left de office wif onli a double chocolate muffin in my stomach. muffin nvr taste so nice before. board the bus at 2:59. guess wat?! i reach vivo at 3:05. wifin 5 mins onli?! pro bahx. i cant believe my eyes too. walked to dis bank n it's closed. culden update my passbook as well. pissed. decided to walk ard. de helllo kitty event at vivo attracted me. Read below:
M·A·C Spring Event 20095 - 15 Mar 2009, Central Court A
This event marks the launch of M·A·C Hello Kitty range of make-up. There will be models showcasing M·A·C Kitty Mild & Kitty Wild range of make-up and giving out M·A·C Hello Kitty removable tattoos to shoppers. Shoppers can also take photos with the models during their appearances. There will also be animation on the following days at VivoCity:
Dates/Time
Fri, 6 Mar 2009/7pm-8pm
Sat, 7 Mar 2009/3pm-4pm, 5pm-6pm
Sun, 8 Mar 2009/3pm-4pm, 5pm-6pm
wen close up to look. n it wasnt a reali great experience for me. nt tt i'm nt into hello kitty. i'm happier than ever to see M.A.C to launch hello kitty make up. but it's de models tt made me feel uncomfortable. they look more lik 妖精 than hello kitty. though de hello kitty look nice, but it doesnt reali suit the models and de background music. isit heavy metal? and imagine guys wearing super tight pants and a hello kitty head? tarnish the image of hello kitty wifin me. now, i dun find kitty cute at all. ... went to see dogs, which is alwaes super packed n i dun get to see all. left n ate before gg to page one, wich looks so much lik kino now. wanted to buy a diary. it's all empty pgs. wanted to draw wat i feel. end up i din buy cos i dun haf enuff cash wif me. feel sian n left at 4 plus? to je n read mag before walkin to de back den imm. guilty-ly ate ice cream cone ffr mac, walked ard imm. wanted to buy coin bank and mirror from minitoons. but i didnt. walked ard n wanted to buy clothes but i didnt. decided tt it's bin long since i laz bought myself a water bottle n i hunted for 1. before deciding on a pink nike one. hope de new bottle can actually last me truout my 3 yrs of uni education. met hz to get de basic theory books and home i came. dinner n wanted to apply for sch.. de slow me onli applied for ntu til now. nvm. tmr apply for nus and sim. shld i apply for smu?
scolded by boss again todae. ... no close door policy but getting scolded almost everydae for nt doin tinks well.
i'm tired. dun feel lik cryin but feel lik sitting in a cafe n reali reflect on myself.
i've grown, aint i? :)
我.爱.水.母.头
22:45 |
Friday, March 06, 2009
A level results out!
suddenly.. i felt tt tym pass in de blinkin of an eye. it's bin 1 yr since i gt my results.. this 1 yr has bin rides wif ups n downs for me... living in a world of blurness n a few 'carefully tot out decisions' tt i've made land me in such a mess. but i'm glad tt i'm stil learning, unlearning and re-learn again.
i've had 'enuff' of the ups and downs in life.
remb how i lived the past 1 yr. it's so vivid to me tt i can even feel tt i'm living then. nt nw. nt for the future. ...
remb how i went to look for jobs aft de end of my A. cant find ani jobs ard but to go bac to work in my old workplace. aunt found me a job at SNEC aft tt. remb how hard i took to familiarise wif de place dere, de colleagues dere and of course! the 'culture' and the work. remb how dewi and eileen kip 'scaring' me by counting down de no. of daes and finally hrs to de receiving of my A lvl results. remb de 'elated' me wen i gt my results though i didnt do very well. at least i've done beta than i tot myself to be. but... in de end, i cant get into de course i lik. remb how i hug dewi n cry for close to 1 whole hr wen de postings are out. n finally... i decided to leave and do de tinks i really wanted to do. de 'first' time out of my comfort zone into a world unknown and so unfamiliar to me. did accounts. but i culden focus at all. n i chng job again. to my current one. whereby i learn alot of tinks. mostly tru de hard wae. i feel de pain. n feel lik giving up most of de time. but... i've learn to b strong tru dis job. mayb dis is de opportunity tt god wans to gif me. make me a stronger person n help others in de society...
aft one whole long yr... truout de learning process. i've realise tt: the tinks tt ur able to do, may not be wat u lik. likewise, the tinks tt u lik may nt b suitable for u aft all. i kip tinkin tt i wanna do business... but haf i reali tot of wat is business all about? BUSINESS is such a big word. yes. i haven tot abt it. ... so wen i actually wen online to research on courses tt i can study, i found tt i lik to do social work.. lik wat most of my frens sae. perhaps they haf seen de potential in me but i cant c? mayb tt's wat i can excel in.
i've learnt alot for the past yr... n i'm stil learning rite now. learning process is long n tough.
but eventually, i've gain new perspective. i've gain... n i'm rich.
to pple out dere who nids my help: do not hesitate to cum to me.. for i will try my best to render my service so long as i'm alive.
target in life: help til de dae i depart from the world.
to those who nids power punch out dere...
no pain = no gain
信念一转, 境界就转
我.爱.水.母.头
23:45 |
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
working abt 10 hrs per dae. it's tiring. super many tinks to do.
tried multi-tasking but i guess i failed.
with all de newspapers all over my room,
the dust inside my room is more than an inch thick,
mosquitoes are finding their homes in my room,
all de miscellaneous tinks undone n it soon... ball rolled into a heap of snow... like now. so... as u can guess, i dunno where to start. haha.
0oh wells. who cares if i enjoyed myself, in stress though...
de other part was tt i was too busy watching my drama serial. "Moonlight Resonance". love tt drama to bits and pieces. 家好月圆庆中秋. each word represent a person's name. hong kong drama is jus so nice to watch!!! finally finished watching the last episode laz nite. :D
yup... i book by basic theory test date aldy.. 16/4, 9:15am.
CONGRATS to HUANG ZHI!!! one time pass. i hope i can be lik her... i reali do.. dunnit to waste time and money to kip goin for the test. yup yup. perhaps i can change to sch, if i fail 2 times of basic. im half doubting myself and half confident. if i can get my driving license wifin a yr, i shall learn bike. yes! den i dun haf to squeeze for train aldy. muaha.
A lvl results will b out on fri. which means... i onli haf todae n tmr to search for uni. bleah. i haven do ani tink for the past yr. n now... im panicking.
help!!!
我.爱.水.母.头
22:30 |