huh?
it's bin 3 daes since i laz update. hmmx. fridae worked. kitchen whole dae. den ytd oso work. cashier. todae mayb gg ltr. yeah! i tink i will reach my target for dis mth.
i m kinda tired aft workin for a long tym. n esp laz wkend, when i work consecutively for 5 daes n ended up fallin sick on laz dae n MC on wed. omg! actually i noe tt my body cant take it. but i stil wan to work. haha. nw, i m havin headache. splitting n spinnin head.
yup. i've finish readin death note. haiz. y isnt de endin wat i wanted? kira died. L died. y didnt de god of death help kira?! argh! i hope i m in possession of the notebk. it simx kinda fun. by ritin de names in de notebk, u cn kill de person u hate. easy isnt it? n u wil nt get caught. haha. enuff le. feelin so sad tokin abt it. jus dun lik de endin.
aniwae, on a higher note. MT A lvl is jus round de corner n i haven studied anitink. i tink my A is 99% gone. i m nw tryin my best to get A. haiz. hope a miracle will happen tt dae. haiz. i wan to go vivocity sumtym nxt wk or rather, de wk aft nxt. but i doubt anione is free to go wif me. sianz. i really wan to get a break out of de studyin life tt i've bin in since march dis yr. not much rest oso. i wan to rest! okie. gg out ltr, so wait patiently til my nxt update. tata~
我.爱.水.母.头
13:16 |
Thursday, October 26, 2006
long tym no see!
我.爱.水.母.头
14:55 |
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
quite a lackin dae todae.
to bel: haha. okie. u dunnit cry. gettin sad n depress is part n parcel of life. hmmx. actually i feel sad larx. but i m so call used to it liaoz. ur comments make me even more feel lik cryin. :'( thnks for standin by me all dese while. i wun tink abt it too much. haha. yup yup. i m nt tinkin abt anitink rite nw. me jus wanna focus on work n play n studies. n nth else. hmmx. yup. i wil definitely crash ur sch. but wen??? me wanna tour ard. =) lookin forward to de tyms wen we cn mit.
hmmx. okie. todae. tok abt lessons first. shall i? yes. MT. did production line n took a stack of practice pper each. den look at kang sheng's fotos. he brought his entire 'assets' wif him. de stack of cds. haha. had fun seeing. saw alot of familiar pple. yup. chem lecture. was totallie boring. fallin aslp sn. so my kip msgin chuan linn til de whole lecture end. den ate 3 pcs of roti prata. =) wen for civics. which i did econs, my script n 2 chn passages. so darn bored. i tink wei hao saw me. nvm. ms chew called me while i was in hall. wen mr leow was tokin n de whole hall was quiet. n thnk q. my fone rang n everyone look at me. nvm. i replied her. so was stunned wen she told me tt principal wan to c my grp tmr. n i tink it's de IR tinky. haiz. i really dunno watta do liaoz. i tink special consideration is my choice bahx. IR is nt fair to him. hmm. so i din eat. wen for phy. which lik nth goes into my brain. except for de 1st qns. n i realised tt i noe hw to do sum of de qns jus b4 tcher go tru. why cant i do it during promo???!!! okie. pw str aft tt. my grp tok to her onli. den me n bee hwee ran to canteen n eat aft tt. wen for gp. okie. n dere are stil pple ltr den us. ms chan played anime n i slpt whole wae tru it. i wan watch rwanda. its all abt killing n stuff. i luv it! me love dis kind of shows. den wen off. end of dae! at 4 pm. lol. yeah! *twist*
second part. me took 198 wif xin yuan. n god. u noe wat i saw?! me n xin yuan was sitin on de seats tt are facing each other. n we saw tt guy's penis who was siting opposite us. me feel very disgusted by 'his actions'. my god! at least sit properly larx. pls lo. he is nt young lo. n btw, we are nt de onli 2 gals who saw it. dere are lotsa other gals on board. kids, aunties n many many other females who saw tt too. it's definitely unsightly to all, esp de females n for young children. it's a pollutant to our eyes adding on to de haze. make me even more necessary to wash my eyes. i m really scared tt tmr i haf sore eyes. dots. haiz. y do dese pple exist??? xin yuan. take care hor. esp ur eyes. remb to put more eye drops. :x
okies. dese daes, i 've bin tinkin alot abt myself, my character n my goals in life. from all de wae promo end til nw. tym sim to pass slow. it's lik onli 10 daes aft promo. n i've tot tru quite alot. me tinkin of converting to christian. isit sth wise? since young, i've bin expose to it n jus dunno y, i find tt life aft death is more 'peaceful' n 'appealin' to me in de christian sense. gt my idea? so tink abt it. n it's so tru tt everytym i tink of god, i feel kinda peaceful n calm. but wen i go temple, i feel a sense of uncertainty in me n a sense of 'loss'. hmmx. me oso dunno hw to put across my views. but hope u understand wat i mean. =)
n suddenly, i m so interested in bio nw adaes. whether haf i made a rite choice in my life? i dunno. actually, i m alwaes more interested in bio den phy to begin wif. n de onli subject i lik in sch is bio. but i dun take tt. cos bio has jus too many tinks to memorise. n i tink i cant cope wif all de memorising. so i choose phy instead. nw, i find tt although i sort of cn cope wif de workload of phy, i feel lik i m driftin apart fr my dream. i've alwaes wanted to b a nurse. it's my dream. but haiz. y cant i follow my heart instead of my mind for once? ended up in JC, i seriously dunno wat i wanna b in de future. mayb a nurse? but i wan to study psychology or at least psychology related stuff. i m interested in tt. reflecting... qk n gang moved on wif deir dreams of being sth related to bio in de future. phyllis study physics which is related of wat she wan to study in uni: engineering. soon eng, n sum peeps n stella, move on wif de passion n will of being a nurse. wat do i wanna b? shall tok abt it wif sumone? suitable for advice.. ah ben? haha. n nt forgetting de others who are followin deir dreams. haiz. wat m i doin?
okie. dis tym, i follow half of my heart n half of my brain. i dun wan to sign up for an OGL animore. i decide to do sth which i dun haf a chance to during june hols. tts is: to go out wif my frenx! =) n truout dis hols, i wan to revise all my J1 work b4 nxt yr start n finish up all de stuff tt i m supposed to. tutorials, tys n all de haven do stuff. =) which is lik: whole of phy tutorial fr chpt 1- recent ones. engage in family outings n gatherings. do my own research. n work more. cos startin fr nxt yr, i cant work tt much animore. dunno whether wat i earn during dis hols cn cover my expense for nxt yr anot. mus learn to save! =) okie. at least i noe watta do for nw. hmmx. tinks shall solve itself one by one. =) boat reach bridge head automatic straight. [direct translation for let nature take its course.]
tts all. its a very long entry. me stil wan to do my I&R. okie. tts all. tata~
我.爱.水.母.头
19:16 |
Monday, October 16, 2006
i m lost...
first, pw. i tink tt vincent dun wan to work wif de grp. or rather, shld i sae tt tts wat i feel. the feelin is jus different. n my tinkin of pw wen bac to de dae wen vincent's mum scolded me. tt makes me very arghz! i dunno watta sae. but i jus feel tt it is very unfair to me. wat rite haf she gt to sae tt i m nt hurt b4? who eva dare sae tt, cum live de life of me. from de dae i was born til nw. n u will noe i chng more den 360 deg. i m TOTALLIE diff. til sumtyms i feel tt i m no longer myself. haiz. i wan to find myself bac again. old self. yes! n tt is wat i m meant n supposed to b. n i tink wat pple tink of me owe it to my 'appearance'. i m jus lik a glass cup inside a metal container. i m fragile n able to crack n shatters easily. but yet, i appear strong lik a metal. tts me. i've chnged. dun ask me y cos i dunno n it will b unlikely tt i will chng again. in de past, i m clear of wat my goals are and i will work hard towards it. sumtyms i made it but sumtyms nt. but no matter hw hard it may b, i wil nt gif up. sumtyms i will reach my goal but at tyms nt. at least i m close. but nw, i dun even haf a goal. wat to motivate me n drive me towards my destination? nothing. absolutely nothing. i feel so lost lik a ship in de sea wifout de guidance of lite hse. who can b de lite hse n save me?
second, i dunno whether to b OGL nxt yr anot. dere are lotsa tinks to b considered. cn i commit myself to all de tym tt OGL nid? m i promoted to yr 2? cn i really gif up one wk of de lesson n go for de orientation? m i able to catch up aft tt? m i able to cope wif all de stuff tt is expected of me? okie. aft de orientation, m i able to really forget abt de fun n tune bac into de studyin mode? isit easy to catch up nxt yr? but if i m nt an OGL, my testimonial will haf nth inside. for nxt yr. if i b, can i ans to myself de qns abv? de obvious ans is : i dunno hw to ans de qns. so... cn someone pls advise me?
third, tym is running short. for everytink. every single tink. it is drawing near to 26 oct, de laz dae of sch. counting fr todae, ms chew onli haf 10 more daes left to b our CT. cutting dwn all de wkends n hols, dere isnt ani much tym left. aft todae's lesson, left onli 2 more chem tutorials, 3 more pw tutorials n 2 more civics. n tts it! bye ms chew! so sad. sob sob. aft abt 6 mths wif her, deducting de hols, i dun bear to leave her. she's de closest to wat i tink JC life shld b lik. she added colors to my life. she really care n concern abt me. b it grades or well being n etc. too many tinks to b named. though her teachin nt tt fantastic, but i really had fun in her lesson. simply enjoy her presence. remb de daes wen i purposely go late for chem tutorial, late for 30 mins, cos i jus dun lik her. to de extent tt i even wan to pon her lesson. slowly i open up to her cos i cant take it animore. n she nvr fail to help me n pull me up n out of bottomless pit. since then, i becum very guai. go on tym for her lesson n b nicer to her. remb de dae wen she cried due to my pw grp. i feel very very sorry for her, but i cant do anitink. tts de saddest tink in my life for dis yr. haiz. all de rain n shine tt we've went tru, finally everytink is comin to n end. sorry for tinks tt i've done to hurt u n thnk q for everytink tt u've contributed. even lil msg to comfort me, calm me dwn i m grateful for dem. hopefully, she can cont to b my CT nxt yr. ms chew rock my world. haha. tts all! alot of tinks to do. bye. ~
我.爱.水.母.头
16:54 |
Saturday, October 14, 2006
ahhh...!
我.爱.水.母.头
19:49 |
Friday, October 13, 2006
wat a slackin dae.
我.爱.水.母.头
22:34 |
Thursday, October 12, 2006
hmmx. where is bel?
hmmx. i miz bel. where is she?! i wan to go out wif her! so long nvr c her liaoz. msn oso dun haf. help! i 'lost' my fren! help me find her.
shld i buy de cute cute speaker? ans me!
我.爱.水.母.头
19:42 |
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
tired.
dere are many tinks which i wanna do; many tinks which i wanna sae; many tinks which i wanna blog; many tinks which i wanna learn; tinks which i wanna buy; tinks i wanna play; tinks which i lik to tink abt. dere are many places which i wanna go, wif diff pple. but... dere is jus nt enuff tym.
hmmx. kinda sad tt Ms Chew will highly likely not be our CT nxt yr. dunno whether is a gd tink anot. perhaps or perhaps not. wateva de outcome wil b, i jus hope tt i wun hate de tchers who are going to teach me nxt yr. aniwae, all gd tinks haf to come to n end one dae, and it is and will be the end. life cannot laz foreva. good times cannot laz foreva. happie daes cannot laz foreva. class cannot laz foreva. tchers cannot laz foreva. friendz cannot laz foreva. n mos importantly, once u leave de sch, it will b very difficult to revisit it again. even if u can, de feelin will NEVER b de same.
currently tinkin whether shld i b OGL nxt yr. shld i or shld i not? ans me!!! :x
我.爱.水.母.头
21:00 |
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
todae is a kinda happie dae.
wen causeway pt wif lili. ate KFC. walked ard. she bought de eeyore speaker n precious moments card holder. same as jessica de. i wan! sianz. so tinkin whether to buy anot. but i tink wait til nxt wk. cos horoscope sae dis wk i cant spend alot of money. =x
thats all. update sn. tata.
我.爱.水.母.头
20:46 |
Monday, October 09, 2006
its a happie cum sad dae
sumtyms i feel lik being ignored and i feel so transparent. lik others cant c n sense my presence. i rather b transparent for my whole life n tt pple cant c me so tt i dun haf to feel de hurt for being transparent nw.
todae, aft i take bac my results. i dunno whether to b happie or sad. S for all other subjects n B for MT. GP n econs haven take bac. haiz. gd tink is tt, most of de subjects haf moderation. aft moderation, i tink i can pass all. nw, i feel so trapped. between, promotion to J2, conditional promos or cant promote at all. i haf equal chance btw dese 3 tinks. de WORST of all, mus wait til end of Oct b4 i cn noe where i fall into. i really dunno watta do nxt. if i cn promote to yr 2, my grades arent tt superb. my A lvl nxt yr wun score well n i dun tink i m able to cope wif de syllabus nxt yr. it's lik a tub nt made properly n u nid to collect water wif it. de water will flow out tru de holes. conditional promo. me jus hope GP will pass so cn take conditional promo. one of de criteria to take conditional promo is : CONDITIONAL PROMOTED STUDENTS MUST HAVE A PASS IN GP!!! [stated in de pper.] passing GP is a big prob to me! haiz. if really worse cum to worse, cant promote, i really dunno watta do. repeat yr 1 or go poly? which choice is beta??? yr 1, nxt yr stil gt first 3 mths. so i will b again wasting one term nxt yr, dun tink gt much help. but poly! even worse. me dunno wat to study so i choose JC. [tts one of de reasons y i choose JC.] nw let me choose poly course again, i stil dunno watta study. haiz. but i seriously hope to promote, so i dun feel lik i m wasting one yr. if i really get promoted, i MUST really start studyin hard during de hols cos nxt yr wun haf much tym for me to catch up. n nxt yr tchers will teach at a neck breakin spd. in ani case, my grades will stil suffer. =x
haiz. y my dream isnt happenin to me dis tym round? i dreamt tt i gt 63 or 70 for chem. which is lik blurred. i oso cant figure out. but 36 oso cant get. haiz. wat's happenin to my dream? y all de bad dream will realise but nt de gd ones? n jus laz nite. dunno y, me dreamt of being in de same class as kun in yr 2. but tt cant b. cos we study diff combi. den it happen so tt our CT chng. to one i dun lik. so i was lik lookin for ms chew in my dreams but cant find her. onli lik gt a few lucky classes CT nvr chng. n okie. i woke up for sch. hmmx. i hope tt it wun b real. haiz. if everytink in my dreams were to happen opposite, cn b gd, cn b bad. i oso dunno larx. let nature take its course.
aniwae, all gd tinks MUST cum to an end. or rather everytink will cum to n end, whether gd or bad. my idea of JC life is lik: ~blank~. i dunno watta sae. it's a far cry fr wat i tot it to b. nvm. hope dis 2 yrs pass very sn den i will b happie.
hopin: to b promoted to J2 n Ms Chew cn b my CT once again. she a good tcher. =)
tts all folks.
~ i wan to go out! walk, walk n more walk. shop, shop n more shop!~
我.爱.水.母.头
19:23 |
Sunday, October 08, 2006
its a jus fine dae.
todae wake up at 8. den very tired. slp til 8:45. nid to go work. so i wen happily, tinkin tt i mite b cashier todae. n guess wat?! todae i do kitchen. sianz. but happie at de same tym. kitchen so busy. i rather do dining. cn slack abit. but it was so fun learning kitchen. nxt tym cn cook liaoz. =) i luv de wae dey cook! so fun. but... i dun lik food prep. so sian larx. nit to wear glove. dirty liaoz den nid to chng. yeah! me finally noe all de wae fr outside to inside. except for hotplate of course. hmmx. i hope to learn more in kitchen. but remb to count me out for closing. i hate kitchen closin. de floor wil all b wet. me dun lik wet wet de place. dots.
help!!! me dunno hw to rite OP stuff. i noe wat to rite but dunno hw to rite. n ms chew wan everytink by wed. sianz. n nw, i sit here slackin all de wae. mayb ltr den rite bahx. haiz. nw i tink of de results, i sian liaoz. i shall work harder fr nw on. hope tt i cn get promoted.
i wan to work more as well! i m cash tight. sianz. n nxt mth, guess wat??? it's sch holidae! i m nt in de least excited abt it. cos i dun haf money to spend. i hope to work more fr 15 dis mth to 15 nxt mth. den will haf more money to spend during de hols. at least for dec. n i haf family chalet during de christmas wk! i really short of cash. $.$
okie. tts all. me wan go enjoy b4 startin to pia hard. =X
我.爱.水.母.头
17:33 |
Friday, October 06, 2006
finally! aft a long period of tym... =D
n tt tink is PW n promos. PW really make me feel lik dying n i hope everytink will turn out well. hmmx. promo really kill me. i m dead! i really hop cn pass GP, chem n phy. dey are my greatest hope. okie. dun wanna tok abt sad tinks.
ytd wen to melisa's bdae bbq. omg! tt was so nice!!! food, people and stuff. we even haf sum pics of 06s22 gals taken. haha. but sum cant c. de nicest one: melisa's dp. okie. reallly had fun n enjoyed myself. but i m very tired. cos past few daes study for promos mahx. den came home n bathe n die die oso wan to online. cos abt 1 mth din online liaoz. =) n i tahan til 1. wen into my rm n jus fell aslp. jus woke up, at 9:30 i tink, but stil tired. ...
i wish tt tym cn remain as it is ytd. where we played, eat n chat n take fotos.
_if you fail to plan, you plan to fail._
tts all folks. =)
我.爱.水.母.头
10:24 |