haiz. a fickle minded me.
*countdwn to my bdae: 19 daes*
~ feelin alot beta as compared to ytd. cheers!
我.爱.水.母.头
02:18 |
Friday, December 29, 2006
haiz...haiz...haiz...
10 daes aft he left. i stil miz him. though i may sim a bit beta as compared to de tym tt he left, but it's stil obvious tt i m unhappie. i dunno hw to describe my feelings. isit jealosuly, anger, sadness or the feelin of loneliness? i dunno. i seriously dunno.
while bathing jus nw, i feel tt i shld jus forget him n move on. mayb i wil b happier. but can i really do tt? wil i b able to succeed? it takes alot of determination to forget a person n a fair bit of courage s well. i m sure tt i m able to forget him n i definitely will one dae. but nt rite nw.
mayb tmr wil b de laz tym tt de 3 of us can really hang out lik tt. mayb aft de outing tmr, i wil forget him. i wan to forget him. dis is really hurting me. lik a wound which takes a long tym to heal.. mayb..
i've bin hurting since dunno wen. mayb since young? mayb? i wan happiness. i wan freedom. i wan...
life's nt smooth for me. or jus tt i dunno hw to b contented n happy wif de wae i m living?
*i mus get out of de pain tt i m suffering nw. i mus. i mus.* *hurting too much...tt i dun feel lik living animore.*
`__ countdwn to my bdae: 20 daes.
我.爱.水.母.头
00:18 |
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
a kinda happie ytd.
tts all. was too tired to tok to him ytd. so cant remb anitink. gt pressie fr mel n i bought one for myself. yippee!
countdwn to my bdae: 23 daes.
我.爱.水.母.头
14:02 |
Saturday, December 23, 2006
happiness filled my night... =D
#hope tt he can celebrate my bdae wif me nxt mth. =) grant me dis wish pls....
count dwn to my bdae: 27 daes.
我.爱.水.母.头
02:15 |
Thursday, December 21, 2006
him, him n more him...
rite aft i blogged ytd, he called me fr a public fone at de void deck below his flat. so i was lik: hello. n all i receive from de other end was a total silence. i was scared. cos it's past 12. but i sort of noe is him but dare nt confirm cos he voice is nt de same as wat i use to hear. de other person replied: i called to ask u wake up n go toilet. (xiao bian). den (da bian). so i kip askin who is he. n i screamed DAVID!!! omg. cant believe my ears tt he called me. de wae he sae tt 2 words are really farni. den he kip tellin me over dere hw hard it was, hw tirin n busy it was. he has leg cramps from standing all dae. he dun haf tym to drink or even go toilet. haiz. n tt he wun b bac in dis outlet foreva. yes. i mean foreva. cos if he really becum manager, he wil b posted to other outlets. if nt, he will quit n find other jobs. i was sad. told him to jia you! sth tt he replied really touched me. "you (3) ni(3) zhe(4) ju(4) hua(4) jiu(4) gou(4) le". i cried immediately. so he tok awhile more den tel me he very tired. i dun wan let him hang up. he beg me, sayin tt he do openin n closing for de whole of dis wk. n i m stil cryin, tellin him wat sir told me ytd. he tell me " bu (4) yao (4) ku (1)" den tel me "bu (4) yao (4) ku (1) le la(1)" his voice really sound lik lil brother tellin lil sister nt to cry. haha. so cute larx. he sae he dun wan tok to me liaoz cos de more he tok, de more i kip crying. n he hang up. okie. cried for abt an hr. wen i was abt to fall aslp, de stupid insect haf to disturb me. so i was lik chasing de insect for abt another 1/2 hr. n kill it in a box finally. woah! cant believe myself. den slp le.
todae work. was kinda okie though. guide jia min. i was de one doin all de tokin n counting of money onli. she was de one who did all de work. so i had basically nth to do. tot of daivd wen i teach jia min abt de soya milk n lemonade. i wan to ask him hw he teach pple. teachin pple is very tiring. nt physically, but mentally. esp de mouth. den ate n wen walk walk. hmmx. de fone i wanted was darn ex. de cheapest one is $498. sianz. tts all. i wan to buy z610i. pink. pink n more pinks. =)
*david... pls call... i m waiting for ur call...*
我.爱.水.母.头
23:19 |
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
haiz. stil missing him...
sir ask me aft work if i was affected by him leaving. he said todae i din perform up to standard. my awareness n alertness drop n i lack initiative todae. he ask me to go home n tink tru it b4 i ans him. okie. partially is cos of him. partially is cos i m very tired workin. very very tired. to de extent tt i feel lik quitting. but i wun til i really cant take it animore. okie. gif him a reply tmr.
n laz nite, aft reading my horoscope, i tot of sth. mayb david wun cum bac animore. n i wun get to c him again unless fate is really very kind to let us mit. i wonder if he misses us. but i doubt so. so its 'useless' missing him.
*maybe i shld really carry on wif my own life.*
countdwn to my bdae: 29 daes
我.爱.水.母.头
23:26 |
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
a moodless n cold dae...
*wen can we mit again?*
*wen can he transfer bac?*
*wil he b transfered bac?*
countdwn to my bdae: 30 daes.
我.爱.水.母.头
20:23 |
18 Dec 2006 [exactly one month to my bdae; a major turning point of my life.]
tts wat my msn nick is. yes. he left. david left. n he left so suddenly. leaving behind all de fond memories. i noe tt de feelin wil nvr b de same wen me mit nxt tym. no matter hw long it is. 1 dae, 1wk, 1 mth, 1yr, 10 yrs, 20 yrs dwn de road. NEVER!
todae woke up at 9:50. bathe n had breakfast. wen out at 10:30. miz de bus though i chase aft it. waited for 18mins b4 de nxt bus came. was so angry. reach dere ard 11:05. ate again. fried kway teow mix fried bee hoon. great! n tt's wat i had for breakfast. piggy me! *again* den bug david to acc me to NTUC during dinner break. okie. =) he wans to buy shampoo. foor runner til 4pm. n de maintanence. haiz. more n more tinks to do. mus do chilli sauce, hot bean paste, wash de holder n cover, refill all dose half ones. haiz. 12 plus. i overheard de conversation of sir n david. but nt very clear wat dey tokin abt though. den david tell me he gg to cook his laz meal. n i find it farni. but i sort of noe wats gg on. he lied to me tt he quit. laz meal. curry veg, sweet n spicy drumlets n steamed egg. 2 out of which i lik. curry veg, sweet n spicy drumlets. finish maintenance, eat tgt wif david. played wif him. wen we finish eatin, he poured de gravy of de chicken onto de egg. lol. he crapped ard. tellin me tt de gravy is lava. den he imagined a hole in de middle of egg. tellin me tt is volcano. n he almoz dropped de bone onto de gravy. he told me tt dey are dinosaur footprints. lol. n i laughed. wen to NTUC nxt. bought his stupid shampoo. he din noe watta buy. den i intro him a few. n i told him. "dis is lik for gal's use. guys gt use dis mehs." he replied:'all dose shampoo advertisements are gals. den guys use wat?' we chased ard lik kids. de promoter intro him one. n he bought it. wen to look for my teriyaki sauce. den wen to lk for his toilet pper again. played ard lik kids again. left NTUC. wen to look at hp. gt de one i wanted. but darn ex. he wan to buy a fone. n i bugged him to. so tt we cn kip in contact. den wen bac to work. dish washer. i was happily doin til david came to stick de masking tape on my mouth. n i pretended to b angry. but i cried. first tym i cried infront of him. nt cos i m angry. but cos of sth he said. "play wif u onli mahx. MY LAST DAE HERE." tts y. i m sad. n he apologised to me. very farni larx. n help me to pac all de tinks as make up to me. lol. den he clean kitchen. i squat dere to tok to him. he dun dare to play wif me again. he played wif mel. mel ignored him. den he play wif others. n i kip askin him to help pac tinks. lol. on top of his work. tts y tonite i very fast. n he agreed to wait for me aft work. onli aft i cried. lol. den finish work. mdm treat him to fries. 2 big packets. we sat n tok. longer den usual. finally i board de bus ard 11:15pm. i tink our fate ends at tt tym. de laz sentence he told me was: "Don't cry".
vivid memories:
#first tym wen he tok to me n michelle. tellin us tt he wan to vomit de nite b4. i asked him wat he ate n he replied seaweed. i lol.
#first tym he told sir to let me in de kitchen. he tot me many tinks. laugh at me cos i dunno hw to wear glove; helped me wear glove; wipe my hands; help me out wen i cant finish my stuff.
#dunno since wen i started to hit him. n it becums frequent. he jus gaf in to me til todae.
#12 daes kitchen- made him angry; cared abt me wen i was sick jus a few daes aft doin kitchen.
#started to becum closer aft a period of tym of nt seeing each other.
#we chatted almoz everydae aft work. about all sorts of stuff. fr personal to life.
#sprayed water at each other in kitchen.
#chasing each other. cos i wanted to hit him.
#he told me tt he wan to gif me one tight slap tt i wil go in circles/ stick onto de bus.
countdwn to my bdae: exactly one month.
*i wish tt he will celebrate wif me*
我.爱.水.母.头
00:14 |
Saturday, December 16, 2006
hmmx. a very tired dae.
ytd, work. 6-10. i wen at 5. cos i tot xiao wei end at 5. gt tinks fr her. she brought bac fr china. n mdm sharon came bac fr korea. she gaf me 2 tinks. one sweet, de other one biscuit. okie. n i haven eat it til nw. ate dinner wif ben, mdm, priya, jue kang n kenny. was so fun catchin up wif one another n chat. played wif jue kang n kenny. cos i sit in btw dem. den work kitchen. grill. i used to hate grill in de past. cos darn busy larx. but nw, i sort of lik grill. cos can sae it's de 2nd slackiest job. lol. had fun wif him n andy in kitchen ytd. esp wif him. he noes hw to make me laugh. kayys. n cos of me, i boiled water late, cause andy to go home 15 mins late. haiz. sorry. den cont playin n doin tinks. lik very eng dere. den close grill. i forgt all de steps xcept de chemical one. david haf to tell me all over again. black chemical. water. soap. water. n tts it! yeah! haiz. if he tell me everytink, i wuld haf won my major prize. cos we bet mac ytd. on de condition tt i clean de grill in 15 minz tym. n i did it in 20 mins wif david guiding me. wen to mac aft work. n he dun wan eat. so wen out. all de wae to cw3 queue. den i told him tt he stil owe me one ice-cream. den we walk all de wae bac to de ice-cream seller. yeah! ate my chocolate ice- cream. it dripped all over me. esp my hp pouch. ask him to help me hold. den i eat again. den msg n it drip all over my fone. so ask him take again. told him nt to crush de biscuit. n guess wat he did? ...he crushed de biscuit for me. thnks arh! -.-" but i finish eatin. den we tok. both of us are tired. wen home. bathe n online. slpt at 2 am.
todae woke up at 6 am. haiz. i wan to slp sumore! rush out lik mad at 6:30. waited for bus til 6:45. sianz. bad mood. den 198 came. i forgt to flag for de bus. luckily de bus stop for pple to alight. den i manage to catch de bus. reach at 7:15. i m so tired. onli germaine n vason were b4 me. de rest came aft 7:30 n sum at ard 8. sianz. onli set off at 8:30. reach dere ard 9 den commence wif de event. had fun on de wae listenin to others poking fun of francis. reach dere very sianz. de tinks oso very sian. shall skip it. i jus hate de mud over dere. my sneakers n leg all gt mud. i miz jj synthetic field. no matter rain or shine, it will b clean. wen off at 1 plus. mit mel at 2:30. bought a ring for jia min while waiting for mel. kayys. walked ard. slack. wen to tok to him. den kena chase out by mdm. we walk in n out n tok to him. wen for dessert at kopitiam. choco ice kacang again. gonna gain weight, sugar lvl n size again. den count til exactly 4 den find david n tok. tok til 5 den came home. tired lik mad. my aunt drag me go out again. tired. arghz. rest of story, i dun wan sae. haiz.
tts all. tata~
我.爱.水.母.头
23:49 |
Sunday, December 10, 2006
wahh! feel lik bloggin laz nite
yep. fri. wen to work early in de mornin. n gt to noe tt my hrs are cut. sianz. darn angry. chng schedule nvr call n sae de norx. n wed, laz min ask me nt to go work. sian larx! so i told mdm ju. ask her let me work. n she did. but at nite, sir cut awae my hrs again. sian larx. but nvm. gtg home wif david again. both of us finish at 9. den work til 9:15. waited for him to slack for 15 minx den go toilet 10 minx. omg! 9:40 den we leave. sat at interchng dere n tok. haiz. he kip sayin tt he din c me cry b4. haha. wait long long bahx. :p tok til 10 plus den i take my bus. he walked home. cos no money to take bus. watched full house. arhh! the three bears! i luv de song. wanted to sing for david but i dunno hw to.
n ytd. full! yeah! wen at 11. ate breakfast dere. haha. we sat tgt n played n joke ard. fri. we ate lunch tgt n tok abt lotsa tinks. esp all fr de bottom of my heart. haha. n suddenly, we became so gd. nt lik laz tym kip fighting. ate tgt. den work. asked him to wait for me aft work n he agreed. cos i kip bugging him. den ask him wait for me to eat dinner. n he did. cos he can choose wat tym to eat. he helped me take rice. haha. goodie! first tym sia. den we finish de food dere. tok crap n stuff. n he work. i haf 1/2 hr left. bought pancake n eat. den i disturb him while he was workin. he was irritated by me. mel came. 10 minx early. first tym nt late. ask her acc me go toilet. den we chng tgt n work! i host. she doin fd runner alone. sianz. i was lik doin tinks half half. kinda sad larx. chilli sauce do abt 1 hr. sianz. but ytd was happie at work. david waited for us aft work. n we played n played til 11 plus den i took bus home. so happie. i wan to work more wif david! =)
我.爱.水.母.头
13:37 |
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
long tym no blog.
to bel: haha. hope u enjoy! =D
i've bin workin n playin n watchin dvd. at first is 'da chang jin' den ltr full house. n i m nt half wae tru of anitink. i tink i shld jus finish watching full house n garfield. 'da chang jin' shld watch nxt yr. aft A's. sian larx! lifeless~
i've bin hurt dese few daes at work. i dunno y oso. i oso dunno hw i gt sum of my injuries. i jus felt de pain wen i bathe. at least 9 tyms since i work til nw. sianz. i jus dunno hw to take care of myself wen workin. haiz. both my hands are getting uglier wif all the scars around. wonder will de scars stay? i hope nt. haiz. i wan dem to heal!
n sch is reopenin in 3 wks tym n i've nt done ani revision. i really hope i can haf tym to revise tink tru. dis is my laz chance. i dun wan to flunk my A's.
我.爱.水.母.头
23:05 |