this week, i work for 3 daes... so tired. can imagine how de full timers feel. everydae not enuff staff. yup. dunno why i feel dis wae. jus dun feel lik serving animore... tired... rar!
exams are jus round de corner.1 mth away... wat m i doing last yr of this mth? watching dvds of course. but im more confident of gettng good grades last yr den dis yr. unless a miracle befalls me, dun tink i can get even a 2nd lower... jus hope a miracle befalls me. ...
dis yr, i wanna try lookin for a job b4 my exams end. hope i can find a beta one.. no more customer svc. :((( but i dunno which agent to find. recruit express isnt good at all. maybe i try kelly svcs again. bt i wan lyne!!! she's de best agent i can find. hope that i can get her again.
我.爱.水.母.头
21:44 |
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
stil waiting for reply... ... ...
i dun have the mood to do anitink rite now. i dun feel lik packing my room, i dun feel like watching dvds though i've waited very long for the exams to be over so that i can do tinks tt i lik. i dun feel lik eating. i dun feel lik going out. i dun even feel lik tokin. ... so i blogg.
人生不如意十之八九. i noe but i have to learn to accept. i m beginning to give up my goals in life one by one. though i wanted very much to reach them, i noe i cant. so i shall jus gif up. no doubt tt i'm reali sad n disappointed. i have no other choices.
was chatting wif my mum n aunt de other dae. they were discussing abt life aft death. their stand: those who dun have religious beliefs will have no where to go aft death. my stand: is there life aft death? i dun belief in goin aniwhere aft death. it's jus the end of life. i believe tt pple turn to religion becos they cant fill the void in their life. this whole debate lasted for over an hour. my god. n i haf to listen to them talk abt buddhas n god n bla bla bla. well. i dun reali believe unless i feel lost. ha. so... i tink i've long ago realise my stand. ... aft the discussion, it made me not start tinkin abt life aft death. it made me start tinkin abt life before death. what shall i do b4 i die. wat do i wan to do n wan to achieve before i die. wats my one last wish on earth. well. aft so long... i noe wat i wan. but i dun tink i can get wat i wan. there's no one person that i can totallie trust. ...
my last wish on earth: to have at least S$5million before i die. n i wish to leave behind a house n a car, on top of that 5million.
i dun mind suffering now jus to exhange for that 5 million, a house n a car. ...
我.爱.水.母.头
10:35 |
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Exams are all over n i shld feel happy. but i realise that i dun feel happy. .. there are many tinks i wanna do but cant do due to some constraints n many tinks tt i dun feel lik doing have to surface and let me handle. i dun mind doing tinks tt i dun lik becos i can learn new tinks. but i dun dun like to do the tinks tt i dun wanna do.
i really feel very tired. i seriously m. i got a feeling that i'm snapping very soon. i m really stretched to my maximum this time round. my body is no longer mine animore. i dunno wat i'm doing.
There are many tinks wich i learn to let go in life and i've a diff way of seeing. not becos i wanted them to work that way but becos it forces me to tink tt way. no doubt that i feel relax aft changing my tinkin n making certain decisions. but... it seems as if my brain controlling my tots n my body dun work that way.
In 2 weeks time. the most painful tink is going to happen. ............................................................ I will quit driving. that's the tink tt i lik mos n dislike most. i'm numb to failing TP. i'm dissappointed in myself. even if i pass in 2 weeks time, i dun tink i will be happy. well. 人生的一个污点.
There are tinks wich i wanted very much to say but i dunno how to sae n... there seems to be lik no suitable person to lend me a listening ear. well. i wuld appreciate if someone culd kip toking to me wifout me saying a tink. tell me how shld i carry on wif my life.
there's almost nth left though i've done my best. ...
我.爱.水.母.头
10:14 |
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I'm disappointed with myself.
dun wish to reveal why i feel so here.
21st birthday with 21 wishes and 21 disappointments.
it's time to cool down and reflect.
我.爱.水.母.头
18:29 |
Monday, September 07, 2009
my blog stil suckx. feel lik giving it a revamp.
I'm stil sitting infront of comp and wasting time packing my room despite having important tinks to do. 2 test tmr... both are my weak subjects. POA and sociology. i dunno why i choose to take dese 2 modules in the first place. Pre-requisites? Maybe.
i dun have the mood to do anitink rite now. or i shld sae i dun feel lik doing anitink rite now. dunno why. jus feel lik packing my room and clear everytink tt i wanna clear. n kip my room sparkling clean. :D
I dunno whether shld i cry or shld i cheer for losing a job. i'm feeling positive though. but the moment i tink of my expenses, i jus feel lik... hmmx. cant sae. maybe god is tryin to tell me to focus on my studies by making me lose a job. NOPE! god is not trying to tell me... rather, he IS TELLING me that i cannot gif up on my studies. i shld focus on my studies. but... i'm driving. driving is VERY EXPENSIVE.
Is someone wanting to sell their old books? yup! i culd make a trip dwn to bras basah nxt wk n get the books. it's 10000x cheaper than new ones. aniwae, i onli need them for a year or so... if i study reali hard. Textbooks are reali important. Cant do wifout textbk.
as of yesterday, a fresh new beginning, a fresh new start. this time round, i dun feel lik lingering in the past. i feel lik facing it and moving on. Making my past part of my memories. Smile. :)
2 tinks tt i wanna do rite now:
1. Plan for my 21st birthday
2. Plan for my parents' 25th wedding anniversary. - Shld i???
我.爱.水.母.头
11:49 |
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
so many tinks in life tt i haf to consider. 很烦!
I choose to study where i am now bcos i dun lik to do project. n de sociology lecturer haf to force us to do a project. haiz. n she will match our names wif class portal. if our names are not in, we're dead. but it's nt counted. i dunno whether to complete anot. but... i'm not reali interested to complete it. hope she doesnt find out...
my stupid hotmail has gt some problems. i cant check my mails!!! it's super irritating. wif a few hundreds of mails each dae to flood my mailbox but i cant do anitink abt it except to clear it once per week. i reali reali nid to do sth ehx...
I'm reali reali reali sick n tired of working aldy. esp working and studying at the same time. sometink will surely b affected. n esp when my pay is so low tt it barely covers my expenses. i'm stil tinkin which to gif up. work, driving, studies... i dun wanna work!!! esp on those jobs wich nid interaction wif pple. i hate pple the most out of so many tinks..
救命啊!
我.爱.水.母.头
20:11 |
Monday, August 24, 2009
... my mood is bad todae. dun ask me why cos i dunno.
aft 3 wks of study, i feel lik i cant go on animore. i dun lik to study. i feel lik giving up jus here.
Sociology: When an individual lacks social experience/social interaction, he or she is not like a social human being.
i jus feel lik doin de opposite rite now. i feel lik isolating myself for the whole dae in my room n kip watching hong kong drama til i feel like interacting wif de society.
yup... i dunno wat i'm doin rite now...
BONKERS!!!
我.爱.水.母.头
19:06 |
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
am online nw to do all those bo liao tinks. like bloggin, listenin to songs and playin on facebook instead of doin research. the investment notes in my mailbox will turn into history by the time i read it. muaha. jus nt motivated to read. that's all.
i'm stil tryin to figure out a wae to earn as much money as i can wifin these 4 mths. so tt i can enjoy myself at de end of the year.
kayys. shall cont wif my playin and... 0ops! i forgt to read up on my subject guide. shall read ltr.
我.爱.水.母.头
16:56 |
Monday, August 10, 2009
Return me my slpin time!!! my effective hrs of rest: less than 4 hrs...
imagine tt i aldy slpt at 1 plus last nite n i was so tired wif solving math qns the whole nite...
i dreamt of her again.
my god!!! i force myself to wake up, on my fone music player so loudly tt it kips me awake til 5 plus am. decide to slp peacefully then. de second part of my slp was ok til my alarm ring at 9am. Telling me tt it's time for work. work's okie as usual. mit all those kind of idiots. nvm. lucky tink is tt my working hrs are short.
mum ask me an extremely hilarious qns wen i woke up early in de morning.: Do you know how to recite the pledge?
my immediate response was: LOL!!! My cousin's 4 year old friend oso noe it. if i dunno, might as well i jump dwn fr 2nd floor. n i will oso die. muaha. i noe i sounded rude. but it was darn farni. i noe tt she's concern tt i will nid it in de future... i will remb it. my reply was: what?! i recite the pledge in sch every single dae from 4yrs old til 18 yrs old. 14 yrs of education n i dunno how to recite de pledge?!. muaha. i find it super hilarious.
it's bin long since i laz online to play facebook n stuff. i'm busy wif tinks but yet nt. sch n studies take up de most of my time. n de rest of my time, i'm busy wif de unimportant tinks. i wan to do sth for my fren but i duno wat i culd do.
hmmx. let me see.~
我.爱.水.母.头
15:34 |
Thursday, August 06, 2009
i've bin feeling tired lately. i slp lik a log ytd. woke up at 9 am. slp at 1 plus. told myself to wake up at 2 plus to study. but i slpt til 4 plus. managed to jus read tru my math and a few pgs of econs. watch heart of greed on tv again. haha. but the chn translation wasnt good. cantonese version is farnier. n... i slpt aft tt. muaha.
nth much to update recently...
My targets:
Math - full marks
Accounts - 90/100
Econs - 90/100
Sociology - 80/100
我.爱.水.母.头
17:19 |