= t0uGh tYmS dUn lAst * t0uGh mAn d0 * leAdErS! =

2011-03-25T21:44:00.002+08:00

some tots and feelings that i dun feel lik writing inside my diary. typing is a beta option? perhaps/perhaps not... typing takes jus a lil shorter time than riting an entry physically...

this week, i work for 3 daes... so tired. can imagine how de full timers feel. everydae not enuff staff. yup. dunno why i feel dis wae. jus dun feel lik serving animore... tired... rar!

exams are jus round de corner.1 mth away... wat m i doing last yr of this mth? watching dvds of course. but im more confident of gettng good grades last yr den dis yr. unless a miracle befalls me, dun tink i can get even a 2nd lower... jus hope a miracle befalls me. ...

dis yr, i wanna try lookin for a job b4 my exams end. hope i can find a beta one.. no more customer svc. :((( but i dunno which agent to find. recruit express isnt good at all. maybe i try kelly svcs again. bt i wan lyne!!! she's de best agent i can find. hope that i can get her again.

2010-05-18T10:35:00.002+08:00

well. work hasnt been smooth for the past 2 days. i hope it can get smoother. shan comment animore. was tinkin if its worth working there if i have a pay rise n higher than that of others. well. clearly. i know that its not. saw some job openings that appeal to me but... jus that the working hrs are so odd but manageable.

stil waiting for reply... ... ...

i dun have the mood to do anitink rite now. i dun feel lik packing my room, i dun feel like watching dvds though i've waited very long for the exams to be over so that i can do tinks tt i lik. i dun feel lik eating. i dun feel lik going out. i dun even feel lik tokin. ... so i blogg.

人生不如意十之八九. i noe but i have to learn to accept. i m beginning to give up my goals in life one by one. though i wanted very much to reach them, i noe i cant. so i shall jus gif up. no doubt tt i'm reali sad n disappointed. i have no other choices.

was chatting wif my mum n aunt de other dae. they were discussing abt life aft death. their stand: those who dun have religious beliefs will have no where to go aft death. my stand: is there life aft death? i dun belief in goin aniwhere aft death. it's jus the end of life. i believe tt pple turn to religion becos they cant fill the void in their life. this whole debate lasted for over an hour. my god. n i haf to listen to them talk abt buddhas n god n bla bla bla. well. i dun reali believe unless i feel lost. ha. so... i tink i've long ago realise my stand. ... aft the discussion, it made me not start tinkin abt life aft death. it made me start tinkin abt life before death. what shall i do b4 i die. wat do i wan to do n wan to achieve before i die. wats my one last wish on earth. well. aft so long... i noe wat i wan. but i dun tink i can get wat i wan. there's no one person that i can totallie trust. ...

my last wish on earth: to have at least S$5million before i die. n i wish to leave behind a house n a car, on top of that 5million.

i dun mind suffering now jus to exhange for that 5 million, a house n a car. ...

2010-05-15T10:14:00.002+08:00

i realise that i dunno myself well. was tinkin of changing my profile aft 2 yrs of nt blogging. n... ideas dun flow naturally. brain dead. i dunno if it's me not knowing myself well or that i dun feel like writing.

Exams are all over n i shld feel happy. but i realise that i dun feel happy. .. there are many tinks i wanna do but cant do due to some constraints n many tinks tt i dun feel lik doing have to surface and let me handle. i dun mind doing tinks tt i dun lik becos i can learn new tinks. but i dun dun like to do the tinks tt i dun wanna do.

i really feel very tired. i seriously m. i got a feeling that i'm snapping very soon. i m really stretched to my maximum this time round. my body is no longer mine animore. i dunno wat i'm doing.

There are many tinks wich i learn to let go in life and i've a diff way of seeing. not becos i wanted them to work that way but becos it forces me to tink tt way. no doubt that i feel relax aft changing my tinkin n making certain decisions. but... it seems as if my brain controlling my tots n my body dun work that way.

In 2 weeks time. the most painful tink is going to happen. ............................................................ I will quit driving. that's the tink tt i lik mos n dislike most. i'm numb to failing TP. i'm dissappointed in myself. even if i pass in 2 weeks time, i dun tink i will be happy. well. 人生的一个污点.

There are tinks wich i wanted very much to say but i dunno how to sae n... there seems to be lik no suitable person to lend me a listening ear. well. i wuld appreciate if someone culd kip toking to me wifout me saying a tink. tell me how shld i carry on wif my life.

there's almost nth left though i've done my best. ...

2010-01-12T18:29:00.002+08:00

i dunno where else can i 'share' my feeling rite now except for here.

I'm disappointed with myself.

dun wish to reveal why i feel so here.

21st birthday with 21 wishes and 21 disappointments.

it's time to cool down and reflect.

2009-09-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Kun!!!

my blog stil suckx. feel lik giving it a revamp.

I'm stil sitting infront of comp and wasting time packing my room despite having important tinks to do. 2 test tmr... both are my weak subjects. POA and sociology. i dunno why i choose to take dese 2 modules in the first place. Pre-requisites? Maybe.

i dun have the mood to do anitink rite now. or i shld sae i dun feel lik doing anitink rite now. dunno why. jus feel lik packing my room and clear everytink tt i wanna clear. n kip my room sparkling clean. :D

I dunno whether shld i cry or shld i cheer for losing a job. i'm feeling positive though. but the moment i tink of my expenses, i jus feel lik... hmmx. cant sae. maybe god is tryin to tell me to focus on my studies by making me lose a job. NOPE! god is not trying to tell me... rather, he IS TELLING me that i cannot gif up on my studies. i shld focus on my studies. but... i'm driving. driving is VERY EXPENSIVE.

Is someone wanting to sell their old books? yup! i culd make a trip dwn to bras basah nxt wk n get the books. it's 10000x cheaper than new ones. aniwae, i onli need them for a year or so... if i study reali hard. Textbooks are reali important. Cant do wifout textbk.

as of yesterday, a fresh new beginning, a fresh new start. this time round, i dun feel lik lingering in the past. i feel lik facing it and moving on. Making my past part of my memories. Smile. :)

2 tinks tt i wanna do rite now:

1. Plan for my 21st birthday
2. Plan for my parents' 25th wedding anniversary. - Shld i???

2009-09-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

我就快要像<<家好月圆>>里的中仔: 做人很痛苦,没意思.

so many tinks in life tt i haf to consider. 很烦!

I choose to study where i am now bcos i dun lik to do project. n de sociology lecturer haf to force us to do a project. haiz. n she will match our names wif class portal. if our names are not in, we're dead. but it's nt counted. i dunno whether to complete anot. but... i'm not reali interested to complete it. hope she doesnt find out...

my stupid hotmail has gt some problems. i cant check my mails!!! it's super irritating. wif a few hundreds of mails each dae to flood my mailbox but i cant do anitink abt it except to clear it once per week. i reali reali nid to do sth ehx...

I'm reali reali reali sick n tired of working aldy. esp working and studying at the same time. sometink will surely b affected. n esp when my pay is so low tt it barely covers my expenses. i'm stil tinkin which to gif up. work, driving, studies... i dun wanna work!!! esp on those jobs wich nid interaction wif pple. i hate pple the most out of so many tinks..

救命啊!

2009-08-24T19:06:00.000+08:00

What the shit has my blogger becum?

... my mood is bad todae. dun ask me why cos i dunno.

aft 3 wks of study, i feel lik i cant go on animore. i dun lik to study. i feel lik giving up jus here.

Sociology: When an individual lacks social experience/social interaction, he or she is not like a social human being.

i jus feel lik doin de opposite rite now. i feel lik isolating myself for the whole dae in my room n kip watching hong kong drama til i feel like interacting wif de society.

yup... i dunno wat i'm doin rite now...

BONKERS!!!

2009-08-11T16:56:00.000+08:00

Jus came bac from sch. Lesson was okie todae. but jus tt i dun get the SOCIOLOGY lecture!!! i totallie haf no idea of wat is it abt. my god! i tink i mus get the sociology textbook. if nt, good luck to me. i feel so tired todae. onli haf less than 8 hrs of rest last nite. practically, i was starin into space the whole of sociology lecture though i wanted very much to listen. Accounts was okie. jus tryin to graps the concept of T account. muaha. n i conclude tt accounts is boring as well. ha! i tink i can jus slack at home wen i graduate 2 yrs ltr. ...

am online nw to do all those bo liao tinks. like bloggin, listenin to songs and playin on facebook instead of doin research. the investment notes in my mailbox will turn into history by the time i read it. muaha. jus nt motivated to read. that's all.

i'm stil tryin to figure out a wae to earn as much money as i can wifin these 4 mths. so tt i can enjoy myself at de end of the year.

kayys. shall cont wif my playin and... 0ops! i forgt to read up on my subject guide. shall read ltr.

2009-08-10T15:34:00.000+08:00

okie. my blog is weird todae. fine...

Return me my slpin time!!! my effective hrs of rest: less than 4 hrs...
imagine tt i aldy slpt at 1 plus last nite n i was so tired wif solving math qns the whole nite...
i dreamt of her again.
my god!!! i force myself to wake up, on my fone music player so loudly tt it kips me awake til 5 plus am. decide to slp peacefully then. de second part of my slp was ok til my alarm ring at 9am. Telling me tt it's time for work. work's okie as usual. mit all those kind of idiots. nvm. lucky tink is tt my working hrs are short.

mum ask me an extremely hilarious qns wen i woke up early in de morning.: Do you know how to recite the pledge?
my immediate response was: LOL!!! My cousin's 4 year old friend oso noe it. if i dunno, might as well i jump dwn fr 2nd floor. n i will oso die. muaha. i noe i sounded rude. but it was darn farni. i noe tt she's concern tt i will nid it in de future... i will remb it. my reply was: what?! i recite the pledge in sch every single dae from 4yrs old til 18 yrs old. 14 yrs of education n i dunno how to recite de pledge?!. muaha. i find it super hilarious.

it's bin long since i laz online to play facebook n stuff. i'm busy wif tinks but yet nt. sch n studies take up de most of my time. n de rest of my time, i'm busy wif de unimportant tinks. i wan to do sth for my fren but i duno wat i culd do.

hmmx. let me see.~

2009-08-06T17:19:00.000+08:00

okies.. todae's my 2nd dae of sch officially. n... i managed to catch the lectures! :) *thumbs up* math was relatively easy i shld sae. de lecturer was a hilarious one as well... realise tt i aldy forget most of my math stuff. perhaps i shld revise. i hope stats can b beta. Lecturer told us tt we dunnit to practice our H2 math. cos it's easier than that. a lil bit easier than A math too. no calculator needed. i guess i culd manage. :) econs was a breeze too! perhaps it's becos it's introduction. demand and supply. Production Possibility Frontier. De lecturer told us nt to go for lesson is we're late cos we will nt b able to catch his lesson. i understand why. Cos he speak lik a bullet train. tat's why we miz alot if we miz 10min. n wif his injection of jokes into the lecture, if u dun follow, u cant laugh. but it's realli farni. haha. Maybe it's somewat similar to my JC. Could be due to my mindset oso. mayb i feel tt dis lecturer is good. haha.

i've bin feeling tired lately. i slp lik a log ytd. woke up at 9 am. slp at 1 plus. told myself to wake up at 2 plus to study. but i slpt til 4 plus. managed to jus read tru my math and a few pgs of econs. watch heart of greed on tv again. haha. but the chn translation wasnt good. cantonese version is farnier. n... i slpt aft tt. muaha.

nth much to update recently...

My targets:

Math - full marks
Accounts - 90/100
Econs - 90/100
Sociology - 80/100

2009-08-05T19:25:00.000+08:00

okie... wat's happening to my blogger?! It finally feels lik it's bac to normal again. :)

i gt no mood to revise my work ytd and i feel lik slpin the moment i see my notes. muaha. i guess tt's de after effect of me nt studyin for over a year... Just finished revising Accounts notes.. finally aft 2 hrs of staring at de notes. phew! gone tru math. but i find tt i forgt wat's indices -_-" hope tt i will understand wat de lecturer saes tmr. No time to read up economics and revise sociology. hope tt i wun fall aslp during lecture tmr. :X

Wen online to dl de exam papers n realise tt's not easy to score. esp Arts subject lik sociology and econs cos i'm nt good wif words. i jus hope 1 yr ltr, words jus cum flowing naturally to me...

conclusion: i still loved numbers :)

phyllis's sister jus gave birth to twins. :) i hope i can haf twins/triplets too.

n... she jus ask me out to club. omg!!! how i wish i can go out wif her. but i gt sch tmr. my tutorials due nxt wk are nt done yet n i haf to work tru de weekend. how nice...

since i haf some time now, i shall FACEBOOK!!! n complete my work later/tmr. :)

Vitamin C with Zinc works!

how to ignore pple tt's nt to my liking???

2009-08-04T19:12:00.001+08:00

Guess wat?!

1. Today's my first dae of sch. Sch's okie i shall sae. de time table is almost lik tt of a JC one. Time pass kinda fast actually. Provided if u really listen attentively to the lectures. Had Accounting and Sociology lessons todae. Accounting was fun i shld sae. The lecturer's great! muaha. An extremely hilarious person. Sociology was not as interesting as i tot so. Need to tink, tink n tink more, need to read, read and read more! omg! All the textbooks will cost me a bomb. Perhaps i will buy. See how. Sch's nt reali fun as one tink it will be although i made 5 new frens on de 1st dae. I didnt go for de orientation... It's more of stress i shld sae. Test is on de 6th week of sch. My Tian! Another one at 12th Week. My Tian Tian! 1st Assignment due 4 mths later. My Tian Tian Tian! 2nd Assignment due 5 months later. My Tian Tian Tian Tian! Final exams: MAY!!! Lessons end at December/January. My 5 Tian(s) ah!!!!!

Took 7:21 bus dis morning. reach ard 7:41. The journey was okie. But the return journey was disastrous! Waited lik 20 mins for a crowded bus and de journery took half hr. by the time i reach home's like 4:15 wen i ended sch at 3pm. stupid rite. but no choice.. if only i'm given a choice...

2. I finally finished watchin Heart of Greed todae!!! :D actually i watched the last episode before watching the middle part. muaha. The ending is anticipated. not tt nice. The front was too draggy but the end was too choppy. But i like the acting skills of all actors and actresses in there. At least beta than some of de shows i watched. :) Addicted by them. Conclusion: I prefer Moonlight Resonance to Heart of Greed.

Now tt i've finished watching the drama. Like part of my routine, my life is gone.

Another chapter of my life begins, sch and sth else tt i shlden sae here. i hope it can really work out. Wish me Success people! :)

2009-08-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

it's bin more than a mth since i laz blogged.

cos i'm not in the mood to blog. muaha. n most of de time, i rite them dwn in my diary.

Yupp! my contract at IPP has officially ended on 30th June 2009. My long awaited break since O lvl graduation. :) went bac to my grandma hse from 10 july til 19 july. Everyday is filled with activities with my paternal and maternal family. 有点不舍得. The great times tt we had, de memories tt we've built... These 10 daes are definitely tiring for me but at least, i've done like half de tinks i wanna do.

N... i GAIN WEIGHT!!! dis is nt sth tt i wish for.

Went genting with my mum on 26 july to 28 july. Again, another tiring trip. Nth to do but no time to rest. I hope i can haf more time at genting... jus feel lik resting in the hotel wifout doin anitink.

Suddenly tot of sth. i haf to mit up wif de gals. cos i miz them. but lik no daes are suitable. maybe their first wk of sch. i guess it wulden b tt busy then.

I've bin watching Heart of Greed, tt abalone version, dis period of time. i stil tink de mooncake one is nicer. Not tt complicated. 40 episodes is indeed very long. Almost culden force myself to finish watching. 9 and half more episodes to watch. Jiayou! Channel 8 is broadcasting very soon.

it's onli 2 more daes to sch reopen for me. i'm looking forward to it but yet nt. Luckily, i haf to go sch onli 2 daes. I chose my own timetable. :) 5 daes to do my stuff.

this time round, i've decided to make the best out of everytink i haf. but tt doesnt mean tt i wont improve myself.

I WANT THE BEST FOR MYSELF AND I WILL FIGHT FOR IT!

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF THAT I CAN DO IT!

但始终过不了心里那一关...

2009-06-14T20:06:00.003+08:00

wow! it's bin 2 wks since i laz blogged.

my mood hasnt been good lately. PMS??? i dunno.

i'm reali tired.

my stupid ipod died on me. for 10 daes. aft 10 days, finally it revive by itself todae. was tinkin whether isit worth repairing or get a new one. hope it can last me til end of my uni daes. den i culd get a new one.

n i dunno wat happen to my face. de left side is filled wif pimples! ahhh!!! mei lian jian ren! i realli
dunno watta do wif my face. hope it can get beta as daes pass by. i'm afraid tt i will look ugly..

I lose faith can confidence in myself... for driving n everytink in life. I tot i have improved alot since last practice. but todae, my target: no car stalls, no cars horn at me, able to move off fast wen traffic light turns green. N.... i dunno wat happen to me todae.

No. of car stalls: ~5 to 7. I culden remb.
No. of horn: 0
No. of times i forget to change to de correct gear: infinity!

Even my instructor 'give up' teaching me. I am really disappointed with myself todae. Performance not up to standard. I'm considering whether to give up driving anot. Maybe i spend a few thousand $$$ but stil culden pass.

Are de goals tt i set for myself too high?!

2009-05-31T21:04:00.002+08:00

After 3 months...

... ...

... ... ...

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

Finally...

... ...

... ... ...

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

I PASSED MY DRIVING THEORY!!!

I'm a step closer to my goal of 1,1,1. :D

1,1,1??? u will definitely wonder wat it is.

1 time pass Basic Theory, (I did it!)

1 time pass Final Theory, (I did it!)

1 time pass PRACTICAL!!!

i'm preparing for my practical now. i hope it's reali 1 time pass. then I'll create a legend in my family of 1,1,1.

SEE! i m close to my goal.

As of ytd, i can officially rest. as in, no nid to study driving theory animore. i can focus on other tinks lik my sch, work n de tinks tt i wanna do but dun haf a chance to.

i'm a lil relac now. but very tired. aft 3 mths of studyin. i conclude tt i dun lik de stress of studying. but i luv de time table. cos it's short.

kayys. i'm very tired. wanna rest. nite~

*Looking for bear-chan*

2009-05-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

Like once again, i'm bac into my own shell.

yup... recently, i've bin very quiet. hmmx... dun ask my why, for i dun wish to sae. jus tt...

i feel MISERABLE.

feel lik everyone ard me is ignoring me n leaving me. 0oh man! why do i feel tt wae wen everyone is beside me.

i finally understand the feeling of being left alone, it's very lonely. nt everyone can stand it...
i finally understand the feeling of being ignored, it feels lik you're transparent.
i finally understand the feeling of being left out, it's feels lik you've nth left in the world...

yup. n i understand alot of tinks wif de test of time...

i feel lik giving up aldy. but i noe i cant. im strong yea. n i believe so too.

i 'feel' but unable to translate to words...

i'm still doing work now. at 11pm. i'm kinda worried tt my final theory test cannot pass. i'm focusing too much on finishing my work.

wish tt shihui can work. if nt, i will haf another job to do wich i doubt i can do it.

sometimes i want to stop thinking negative. but.. tinks wich bound to happen will happen. it's not how i tink. of course i want everytink to turn out well but it's sometinks are beyond my control. helpless.

countdown! 1 month, 1 week + 3 days.

tired.

can you be my friend for one minute? jus hug me n not say anitink.

POSITIVE!POSITIVE!POSITIVE!

guess wat i like and dislike... :)

2009-05-14T21:34:00.003+08:00

i dislike

- clutch pedal;

- engine brake & foot brake;

- brake-lining;

- on-off braking technique;

- intermitten braking;

- connecting-and-disconnecting clutch technique;

- 'hand-over-hand' mtd

0oh. but..........

I LOVE DRIVING!!! :D

2009-05-12T22:03:00.002+08:00

it's been looooooooooooooooooooooooooong since i last blogged...

yup. cos my mood tell me to write and draw instead of blog. so.. i wrote diary instead. finally! aft abt 2 years with my previous diary, how time flies.. looks lik de diary is stil new to me. :) i started a new book jus recently. yup yup. now, i nid a box to kip all my diaries. o0ps! i mean part of my diary.

my mood isnt good dis few wks. esp dis week. seems lik working tym pass so

s..........

l..........

o..........

w..........

l..........

y.......... ..........

and tt my private time is lik.. v000000ooooom! n gone wif de wind.

haf lotsa tinks to do n tym is lik running out. n... i run into financial probs due to my HUGE outflow. wif sch, driving and ...

was actually in a good mood todae. 1 BIG event comprising of lil lil details turn it bad. stop reminding them of me. jus help me kip my mood good by going shopping, shopping and more shopping!!! i jus feel lik doing the tinks tt i lik n i wanna do rite now.

Longing for a break but im nt entitled to one...

stick it out for : 1 month and 3 weeks.

2009-04-25T17:13:00.002+08:00

was out shoppin todae.

had 3 pratas in de morning... i tink i cant eat 12... dwn to snec. by chance, todae's dewi's grp turn. so long nvr c her aldy. so i was dere for 1 hr. den dwn to chinatown n buy tinks. bought 2 tops. 1 black tube n 1 black shirt. muaha. n many other stuffs which arent mine. i dun understand why i culden find de perfect hair cologne for my hair. wich... i feel lik giving up.

was happie til reality struck me... praying hard tt i can get into NUS or NTU. pray along wif me pple... dun feel lik studying in a private uni but i guess i will end up doing that... aft 2 years.

unhappie pple spend more time watching tv. i m goin to watch tv. :)

2009-04-20T21:36:00.002+08:00

16 Apr... perhaps it is a day that i will nt forget in short term. ... de day tt i PASS MY BASIC THEORY TEST!!! Yay! cant wait for the dae tt i can drive. was super nervous de morning tt i took my test. dad drove me dere at 7:45. but my test onli start at 9:15. cos he nid to work. so i sat dere n study til de instructor came n we wen in. guess wat?! dere are 50 mins to ans 50 qns. but... i used onli 10-15 mins to ans all qns. i did so fast tt de gal seating beside me was super kan cheong. aft checking for 3 rounds, i stil haf 31 min left. a guy walk pass me n said: shit. haha. was laughing to myself. i master my courage to press ok aft tt guy left. n i ... PASSED!!! muaha. made de gal seating beside me more kan cheong. saw hui ni, hilda and joanne at de entrance of bbdc. so we walked outside tgt. office wif joanne. :) super happie. car!!!

todae i heard a bdae song being played while i was working in my boss room. tot of de show *e zuo ju er wen*. wen chun mei gave birth to a bb gal, de music was played. all of a sudden, i feel lik having a bb gal. while de music played... happie bdae to u... happie bdae to u...

ahh~ i mus b crazy..

waiting... but to no avail. ...

deadz...

2009-04-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

yea. guess wat?! todae is JNP appreciation day. so we dun haf to work. instead, went to sembawang seaside to play. so i woke up at 8am todae. bought titbits n eat breakfast before proceeding dere. reach ard 11am. 1326 coffeeshop i guess. had 2 egg pratas. 1 cold green tea and 1 iced tea. not iced lemon tea. car pool dere. n we did nth but seat ard. 12 plus til 4 plus n we go off.

didnt realli enjoy myself todae. dunno why. basic test tmr? no one play wif me? nth much to do? too many tinks on my mind?

here i m, seating dwn n blog.

todae is de first time tt i can see sunrise before getting out of my hse. first time i can come back before sunset after 6 mths.

jus feel lik reading my previous post now.

2009-04-07T15:12:00.002+08:00

see the time now. haha. it's 3 plus and almost the whole office is empty except for us. so most pple are actually chatting around while doing our work. first time ever. stood at de common computer and start looking ard the office. realise tt de once not so familiar environment becums a place where it holds alot of memory for me. a place where i enjoy working and a place which helps me grow.

see dewi in de morning. makes my day aft nt seeing her for 1 wk + 1 day. but the feeling is no longer the same as compared to last time. dun ask me why. just feel lik blogging now. but nid to finish my work before i can cont to blog.

2009-04-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

finally done everytink n sit here now. yes! at 9:50PM. ...

had a super long dae todae. starting wif me waking up at 8:30 and die die wanna slp til alarm clock ring at 9pm. n slack on my bed til 9:15. wash up, clear up tinks tt are supposed to b cleared. went market to buy breakfast. n walked home, eat n quickly pack n shower before gg work. luckily, right aft i came out from bathroom, patricia call me n ask me go dwn to jp n take rice cooker. so i can be late. muaha. took my time n do my tinks den out of hse at 11:40pm. reach dere at 12:10. lucky. haha. de rice cooker was super heavy so i took cab bac. thanks to a lady n a gentlemen who help me open door and car boot. managed to get chan dwn to help me. finally start work at ard 1:20. haha. break at 3. n work til 4 n off i go. nxt wk schedule is... great!!! muaha. i can buy more tinks. :) walked ard watsons and guardian. wanted to get HAIR cologne. super afraid tt my hair will smell every single dae aft squeezin in train. ... but dunno shld i get anot. $17.80. lik wasting $$. didnt get n came home. reach ard 520pm. realised tt my bro wen out. okies.. supposed to stay home dis wkend but i didnt. so... cant see my bro for another wk. hope tt i can spend sometime wif him nxt sun.

came home n immediately start my hsework. break for dinner fr 7-8. finally done every single tink... tired.

wan to slp but sth is bothering me. i cant help but to worry. i wan to find out the ans. ...

nightmares start coming back. i cant slp well. ...

2009-04-04T22:50:00.003+08:00

i cant help but continue to worry abt my fren. i hope she is alright though.

had a happy but tired dae outside todae.

mit calina at train todae. wen she reach chinese garden, i jus top up my card. jus nice tt i catch de train tt she's in. so we chatted all de wae to city hall. met up wif joanne n april for lunch. mos burger. spent $10 dere. super full wif small milk tea, large fries, scallop burger and curry croquette. n de butterfly prawn from calina. walked ard n bought sweets too. from marks and spencer. $2.70 for 13 sweets. dun reali lik de sweet cos of toffee inside. walk from city hall to parliament hse. quite near. :) pass by funan IT mall too. de seminar was held in a kinda high class restaurant wich i deem is too dim. i practically cant see anitink dere. speaker was dawn kwan's mum. de 12 year old art prodigy. details to b posted ltr cos im too tired todae. gif u de webby to c her art works. www.dawnkwangallery.com.

seminar lasted for an hr followed by high tea. omg! i'm stil full but i ate a lil. too full to appreciate de food dere. but chicken wing was nice. had 3 in total. play truth or dare. super fun. 3 times kena me. 2 truth n 1 dare. dey kip askin me abt my opinions of kenneth. yea. kenneth heng. omg! but... i dun even lik him. as in for bgr. as a fren, i tink he's alright. muaha. most of them went off at ard 5 plus. hitch a ride on robin's car tgt wif calina. to je. train to yew tee to mit my aunt. bought a hp cover at $5. another bottle of perfume at $3.90. waste $$$. came home. wanted to clear my facebook stuff...

god... pls bless tt all my family members are safe and happy.

i cant help to stop worrying. signs and my super strong sixth sense tells me tt sth is wrong. ...

2009-04-03T22:56:00.001+08:00

relationship is jus a simple word but it carries a profound meaning...

marriage is a word tt carries heavy responsibility. :)

I WANT A FAMILY!!!

2009-04-03T22:27:00.003+08:00

just wanted to sae... i drop my hp 3 times todae. sian. n dere is a super deep scratch. my heart hurts. lik i alwaes sae: dropping my phone is like dropping $500++ on de floor.

parents wen to malaysia n onli me is alone at home rite now. 胡思乱想. tink all de wae til my parents die one dae. n suddenly i'm all alone. n no one does my laundry, no one cook for me.. n blah blah blah. but i dun feel lik tearing, let alone crying. yeah... i'm strong. i've grown up...

dunno why recently, i feel tt my tots becum more mature. though my actions are super childish. kip tinkin if my tots are prematurely-mature. lol.

was hopin to have a relationship sometime soon n tt we can do all dose tinks tt i used to wan-to-do. but wen i ask myself isit realli wat i wan, i realise tt it isnt wat i reali wan in my heart. i wan a real family wif planning. i wan to start a family real young... dunno why. i'm ready to gif birth nw. i guess tt's a dangerous thought of mine... but... haha

felt giddy ytd, dunno why. n my head hurts real bad. feel lik puking oso. almoz culden make my wae to office. suddenly dis weird tot strike me.. how i wish dese symptoms can indicate tt i'm pregnant rite now. but too bad. it's nt. haha. jus laugh it off n work...

2009-03-30T21:23:00.003+08:00

APPRECIATION...

dunno why. but i jus tot of dis word. mayb tt's sometink tt i culd chng myself for de beta. tt's why de word kip popping up in my mind.

INTENTION...

dis word jus pop up in my mind during lunch time.

intention is often mistaken by others, only u urself will know wat it is deep dwn in ur heart.

lying is unavoidable sometimes. but... do u haf de conscience to lie? i dont.

after lik 14 yrs of education, i stil dun realise wat my problem is. perhaps it's becos i often dismiss de negative comments tt others gif to me.. at least, i dun do selective listening. workin in dis company made me chng a lil here n dere. i've grown. but i dun lik de grown up myself. i've realise tinks tt i haven in de past 20 years. wif de help of others ard me. esp aft graduating from JC. life lessons are more valuable than de subjects tt we learnt in sch.

sometimes, you just need to take a step back and view things from the other person's perspective.. that way, you should be able to see a lot more abt urself then others can tell you.. take some time to reflect on the things that happen everyday, and ask urself if you could have made a better decision.. and why didn't you make that better decision at that moment... that way you'll be able to change for the better... it's always better for you to realise it yourself then to have others tell you abt it.. more convincing bah.. human nature... - Ms Quek.

Dewi once said: it's cos of me tt i kip harping on de past round n round in a circle tt's why i will trap myself in a circles of unhappiness. try to chng a direction of tinking, tink towards positive and yea. i will b happy.

my boss once told me: it's my tinkin tt i kip focusing on de negative tt's why my negatives will grow. de power of mind. actually, i shld try to find positivities abt myself n let it grow.

perhaps or perhaps nt...

i no longer trust pple animore. dun ask my why, but i dun feel lik trusting anione ard me. jus becos i've bin hurt by pple once and again and afraid of being hurt for another time.

my intention wasnt tt in de first place. nvm if others dun get my intention. so long as deep dwn in my heart, i m morally correct in my tinkins, i'm sure someone will stand by me some dae.

i miz everyone ard me...

2009-03-19T21:10:00.003+08:00

nvr once did i sort of enjoy myself lik todae.

the stress of a working adult...

the hectic life of a working adult...

the everyday-feels-like-the-same- day of a working adult...

after working for 1 yr n 4 mths, i feel tired. work aft work, day aft day... asked myself why i did tt but i culden ans myself other then de word money. culden account to myself if it's worth it, if it's necessary.

today took a half dae off to settle my uni tinks. wen nus n sim. hmmx. but i didnt reali get my tinks settled. haiz. nid to make another stupid trip dwn. i guess dere mus b some reasons why god arrange it tt wae for me. i wont noe til de time comes.

met yan ping at sim. settle my tinks. den go west coast plaza to settle my work stuff. n we went waffle cottage to eat some snacks. cheese fries and ice cream waffle. cheese fries was superb!!! nicer than kfc one i shld sae. but de waffle ice cream wasnt to my appeal. hard and hot waffles wif cold ice cream. tt's nt a combi tt i like. if u actually separate to eat, it's nice. hmmx. nt bad an experience dere. reach home ard 4 plus. pack my room, rest n went exercising. at least todae i exercise!!! :)

yea. feel fat myself. ... aft all de eating n exercising less than 3 times a wk for abt 2 wks aldy.

sometime i feel tt becos of my forgetfulness, i brought alot of inconvenience to others. haiz...

dunno why... i feel stress once again. maybe... someone's cumin?

muaha. bye.

2009-03-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

craving for chocos and ice cream signals tt i... m feeling the stress all over again.

yarh. i tink it's my prob alright.

it's all abt me, myself and i.

all de negative tinkings n probs ard probs ard more probs. it has a whole ballooning effect to weigh me dwn.

first time tt my face look so sian todae. even my colleagues notice tt. first tym tt my smiles becum so rare and words came out... slower than de spd of snail. jus dun haf de mood to tok todae. dun ask me why. tt's hw i actually m wen im stress.

zila kip askin if im alrite. FIRST time hear de word stress from me. well. calina ask me aft lunch why did i look so sian todae. so i jus said wat i feel. im stress to my limit aldy. yup. so aft work, i gt a chance to tok to my boss. yup n she helped me find solutions. i shld b de one doin tt but nt de other wae round. ... left de office feeling kinda positive abt it.

need time to chng. I WILL TRY TO!

YES! From todae onwards, i shall ward off de bad n welcum de good by tinkin of SOLUTIONS rather than probs and focus on de POSITIVE instead. i know it's hard. BUT I'LL TRY.

JiaYou! POSITVE! SOLUTIONS! POSITIVE! SOLUTIONS! POSITIVE! SOLUTIONS!

kayys. n YES! i'm finishing up my stuff n slp. till tmr.

2009-03-15T18:40:00.005+08:00

survival of the fittest!

see wat i mean. :)

this is de main road outside my hse. de broken branches blocked 2 paths.

the metal sign outside de ramp of carparkis dented .

look at the bins on de grass.

tree uprooted.

look at all de young trees.

another fallen tree which blocks de passageway.

de clothes pegs, red pants n more debris on de road.

outside de rubbish chute.

jus a short less-than-half-hr 'thunderstorm', much havoc has bin created. seems lik de nature is taking revenge on us. muaha. was working when it rained. nandar was super happy cos less customers will cum. while chan wasnt happie cos we both knock off at 4 n he cant get home. so far... i've bin happie at work til now. i dunno how de future will b lik. so long as im happie nw, de rest doesnt matter. hope tt i will cont to b happie in de future.

i'm losing my perseverance to workout. getting lazier n lazier n lazier. it's ok if im lazy to exercise, de tink's tt, wifout exercising, im eating even more! omg! jus ate a curry puff, a popiah, 2 packs of milo nuggets n nw, dinner! tt's it man! nid to exercise tmr. getting fat. haiz...

im getting more tired nowadaes. so many tinks in mind. many tinks on hand. dunno how to finish them. they all haf dateline.

haf to finish applying, paying and submitting all documents by 1/4.

memorise menu by 14/4.

taking basic theory test on 16/4.

see! i'm dead. mus settle one tink at a time. but... i'm onli interested in sch n driving onli. nt interested in other tinks. ...

the way to multitask is to do one thing at a time.

2009-03-14T20:37:00.002+08:00

the contentment of a worker, the happiness within a worker is tt

- time passes fast.
- nth much to do
- tinks can finish fast?
- working in a good environment.

=)

u shld haf guess rite. haha. yes. officially, i've started work todae at thai express. 12pm - 6pm. not tt bad. nt much customers. i can get almost everytink (they taught me) fast. cos i've work in a restaurant b4. so dis to me is... chicken fee*. no 't' cos i haven learn everytink yet.

yup yup. todae i've seen alot. i can sae as compared to my job in de past, the restaurant one i'm tokin abt, it's beta. though de pay is de same, but de 'benefits' here are beta. do u know tt we dun haf to call our supervisors/managers by sir or mdm. we call them by deir names. n... dey are a friendly lot. they jus sae... take tinks slowly. if reali cant cope, jus tell dem n dey can help. anitink jus go to dem. woots! so easy. so practically i'm considered slacking todae.. :) yar. n i deir meal times is abit farni. or isit me tt find it weird? work 12-3 stil gt break in btw. me ate 'lunch' at 2 plus. deir food is... so-so. nt very nice. n i dunno why pple stil pay such a 'high' price for the food. considered ex to me. qty wise is okie. but... i wulden pay such a high price for dis kind of food? yar.

i haf a collegue, named xin jie, he oso started todae or ytd onli. omg!!! he looks so much lik Wu Chun tt i culden stop staring at him. my tian!!! he's jus so shuai! sumore, he knows how to bike. he his lots of credit cards in his wallet. cos we actually nid to use an atm card/credit card/cards wich has magnetic stripes to sign in n out. sianx.. i cant control myself if i haf a card wif me.. man! yar.. so it makes my first 3 hrs dere a very pleasant experience.

told bel ytd tt i was working at thai express. n i haf a feeling tt she'll turn up todae. n yes! i'm rite aft all. she turn up at 5pm. haha. make my dae great. but how i wish we culd go out for shoppin instead of me stuck at my work place. ... met aft my work, we chat for awhile n walk ard sheng siong b4 i came home. guess wat?! i saw de kinder joy choco tt siti n calina gaf me tt dae. per pc is $1.55 at sheng siong. cant imagine how much $$ tt siti n calina spent to gif us a choco ea. love de toy inside more than de choco though. :) aniwae, i appreciate them alot.

saw kai ting todae, my neighbour. she worked at de thai express tt i'm working at. but she left aldy. aft working for 3 mths? n she's bac to eat todae. she culden remb where i stay but recognise me. haha. newae, saw a lot of familiar faces dere. de ex workers. didnt reali lik some pple. ...

somehw or rather, i felt tt pple who kip clingin onto de past are lonely. jus felt dis wae todae n suddenly. i dunno why. ... nw i wish tt my working hrs are actually short. though i dun earn much but at least i dun feel so tired.

i dun feel lik workin animore. feel so tired rite now. changing from one job to de other. workin 2 jobs at de same time. perhaps i'm old? yes! i grow old aldy. nt lik how i used to b..

nid to tink of a wae to finance my education, my car n my life aft studyin in uni. i dunno if i shld... lost my train of tots suddenly. okayys. i shall stop here. supposed to research for my uni rather than bloggin. but i jus feel lik blogging suddenly so i came. lotsa tinks are lined up for me. perhaps i shld get a small planner n start writing every single tink dwn such tt i wun forget. cos i alwaes forget.

kayys. uni more impt. byez~

2009-03-13T21:44:00.002+08:00

yup... got a 'new' life todae...

bro's in tekong nw. hope tt everytink's well for him throughout de 2 years in dere. hope tt he has enjoyed his life to his fullest b4 todae. waiting for him to ORD, waiting for him to pass out. he'll den becum a man.

while me... tmr i m startin new work at... somewhere near. a part time one. hope tt everytink will go well for me. short term goals: work hard no matter where i'm working and study hard in a uni. hope tt i can get into a uni. :) yea. in abt a mth's time, i will be taking basic theory. n i hope i pass.

i shall retire to bed nw. muaha. tired. i dun wan to let fatigue overcome me. :)

2009-03-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

yar.... i'm super tired this wk again. forgt wat was i doin every single dae.

all i noe is tt i'm focusing on getting into a uni. n i hope i can.

i'm afraid tt everytink will be lik laz yr. then i wont noe watta do.

didnt mean to say tt i'm tired. but i reali do.

yup. bro's getting into army tmr. so grown up is he. kinda lost larx. seems lik one person is missing from the family. wanted to see him for the one laz time n interact wif him. but i miscalculated de time for doc. so i actually haf to go todae. i hope all can be well.

went for qi gong ytd. i find tt i'm wasting time every session. nt practising hard enuff...
tink tt i've done good at de qi gong session: feeding mosquitos.
tink tt i've not done well at de qi gong session: killing mosquitos.
my leg is super itchy rite now. wif at least 20 'love' kisses on each side of my leg. i cant stop scratching even wen i'm aslp.

tried the soup spoon ytd. cream of mushroom bread bowl. n i conclude tt de CREAM of mushroom is TOO CREAMY. but the bread is nice. bread dip into soup: the best combi in de world. muaha. might b eating eat again but nt dis mth at least.

felt so hungry todae tt i ate prawn noodle n added noodle. my stomach hurts for 3-4 hrs aft tt. learnt my lesson of nt eating such a BIG bowl wen i feel hungry. hmmx. perhaps i shld go slp.

time check: 12:04am. gotta wake up at 6:35.

2009-03-07T22:45:00.003+08:00

pls tell me if wat i'm tinkin is rite.

i reali dunno watta do.

wat's de prob wif me?!

reali getting tired of life.

i'm so looking forward to nxt wk. i may b tired. may b stress out. but... in de end of de dae, i might b happy. cos i can get wat i wan.

m i reali selfish? can someone tell me?

i'm reali tryin hard. jus tt pple dun c it. n I DUN CARE!!! for so long as im accountable to myself.

gif me more time pls. i'm alwaes short of tym. i dunno why. but jus short of time.

woked todae til ard 2:45pm before i left de office wif onli a double chocolate muffin in my stomach. muffin nvr taste so nice before. board the bus at 2:59. guess wat?! i reach vivo at 3:05. wifin 5 mins onli?! pro bahx. i cant believe my eyes too. walked to dis bank n it's closed. culden update my passbook as well. pissed. decided to walk ard. de helllo kitty event at vivo attracted me. Read below:

M·A·C Spring Event 20095 - 15 Mar 2009, Central Court A

This event marks the launch of M·A·C Hello Kitty range of make-up. There will be models showcasing M·A·C Kitty Mild & Kitty Wild range of make-up and giving out M·A·C Hello Kitty removable tattoos to shoppers. Shoppers can also take photos with the models during their appearances. There will also be animation on the following days at VivoCity:

Dates/Time
Fri, 6 Mar 2009/7pm-8pm
Sat, 7 Mar 2009/3pm-4pm, 5pm-6pm
Sun, 8 Mar 2009/3pm-4pm, 5pm-6pm

wen close up to look. n it wasnt a reali great experience for me. nt tt i'm nt into hello kitty. i'm happier than ever to see M.A.C to launch hello kitty make up. but it's de models tt made me feel uncomfortable. they look more lik 妖精 than hello kitty. though de hello kitty look nice, but it doesnt reali suit the models and de background music. isit heavy metal? and imagine guys wearing super tight pants and a hello kitty head? tarnish the image of hello kitty wifin me. now, i dun find kitty cute at all. ... went to see dogs, which is alwaes super packed n i dun get to see all. left n ate before gg to page one, wich looks so much lik kino now. wanted to buy a diary. it's all empty pgs. wanted to draw wat i feel. end up i din buy cos i dun haf enuff cash wif me. feel sian n left at 4 plus? to je n read mag before walkin to de back den imm. guilty-ly ate ice cream cone ffr mac, walked ard imm. wanted to buy coin bank and mirror from minitoons. but i didnt. walked ard n wanted to buy clothes but i didnt. decided tt it's bin long since i laz bought myself a water bottle n i hunted for 1. before deciding on a pink nike one. hope de new bottle can actually last me truout my 3 yrs of uni education. met hz to get de basic theory books and home i came. dinner n wanted to apply for sch.. de slow me onli applied for ntu til now. nvm. tmr apply for nus and sim. shld i apply for smu?

scolded by boss again todae. ... no close door policy but getting scolded almost everydae for nt doin tinks well.

i'm tired. dun feel lik cryin but feel lik sitting in a cafe n reali reflect on myself.

i've grown, aint i? :)

2009-03-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

this time of de yr....

A level results out!

suddenly.. i felt tt tym pass in de blinkin of an eye. it's bin 1 yr since i gt my results.. this 1 yr has bin rides wif ups n downs for me... living in a world of blurness n a few 'carefully tot out decisions' tt i've made land me in such a mess. but i'm glad tt i'm stil learning, unlearning and re-learn again.

i've had 'enuff' of the ups and downs in life.

remb how i lived the past 1 yr. it's so vivid to me tt i can even feel tt i'm living then. nt nw. nt for the future. ...

remb how i went to look for jobs aft de end of my A. cant find ani jobs ard but to go bac to work in my old workplace. aunt found me a job at SNEC aft tt. remb how hard i took to familiarise wif de place dere, de colleagues dere and of course! the 'culture' and the work. remb how dewi and eileen kip 'scaring' me by counting down de no. of daes and finally hrs to de receiving of my A lvl results. remb de 'elated' me wen i gt my results though i didnt do very well. at least i've done beta than i tot myself to be. but... in de end, i cant get into de course i lik. remb how i hug dewi n cry for close to 1 whole hr wen de postings are out. n finally... i decided to leave and do de tinks i really wanted to do. de 'first' time out of my comfort zone into a world unknown and so unfamiliar to me. did accounts. but i culden focus at all. n i chng job again. to my current one. whereby i learn alot of tinks. mostly tru de hard wae. i feel de pain. n feel lik giving up most of de time. but... i've learn to b strong tru dis job. mayb dis is de opportunity tt god wans to gif me. make me a stronger person n help others in de society...

aft one whole long yr... truout de learning process. i've realise tt: the tinks tt ur able to do, may not be wat u lik. likewise, the tinks tt u lik may nt b suitable for u aft all. i kip tinkin tt i wanna do business... but haf i reali tot of wat is business all about? BUSINESS is such a big word. yes. i haven tot abt it. ... so wen i actually wen online to research on courses tt i can study, i found tt i lik to do social work.. lik wat most of my frens sae. perhaps they haf seen de potential in me but i cant c? mayb tt's wat i can excel in.

i've learnt alot for the past yr... n i'm stil learning rite now. learning process is long n tough.

but eventually, i've gain new perspective. i've gain... n i'm rich.

to pple out dere who nids my help: do not hesitate to cum to me.. for i will try my best to render my service so long as i'm alive.

target in life: help til de dae i depart from the world.

to those who nids power punch out dere...

no pain = no gain

信念一转, 境界就转

2009-03-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

it has been long since i last blogged. can sae tt im too busy to even blog rite now.. partially becos of work..

working abt 10 hrs per dae. it's tiring. super many tinks to do.

tried multi-tasking but i guess i failed.

with all de newspapers all over my room,

the dust inside my room is more than an inch thick,

mosquitoes are finding their homes in my room,

all de miscellaneous tinks undone n it soon... ball rolled into a heap of snow... like now. so... as u can guess, i dunno where to start. haha.

0oh wells. who cares if i enjoyed myself, in stress though...

de other part was tt i was too busy watching my drama serial. "Moonlight Resonance". love tt drama to bits and pieces. 家好月圆庆中秋. each word represent a person's name. hong kong drama is jus so nice to watch!!! finally finished watching the last episode laz nite. :D

yup... i book by basic theory test date aldy.. 16/4, 9:15am.

CONGRATS to HUANG ZHI!!! one time pass. i hope i can be lik her... i reali do.. dunnit to waste time and money to kip goin for the test. yup yup. perhaps i can change to sch, if i fail 2 times of basic. im half doubting myself and half confident. if i can get my driving license wifin a yr, i shall learn bike. yes! den i dun haf to squeeze for train aldy. muaha.

A lvl results will b out on fri. which means... i onli haf todae n tmr to search for uni. bleah. i haven do ani tink for the past yr. n now... im panicking.

help!!!

2009-02-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

it's bin reali longg since i laz rote a post. i was too busy...

yea. tt's rite. bin working, helpin out wif hse work. doing my stuff. goin out wif parents to visit uncle n to pray. woah! how i wish my day can haf 48 hrs. 24 hrs isnt enuff.

wen out ytd. wanted to shop but onli for tt 5 mins. conclusion: next time i dun wanna go out wif my parents. at least nt for shopping. sianz... bought a top in a hurry in OG. stupid k.. real stupid.
$7.35 aft 7% disc. if i haf OG card, can haf more disc. forgt to take frm my aunt wen i mit her ytd. cousin wen for dance. paid wif NETS again. i realise tt i've bin relyin on NETS alot. so i will die if dere's no NETS ard.

i've bin tryin to slim dwn using various resources. bought dose slimming drinks, ask doc to prescribe pills... exercise! it's de most useful. i shall try to do more of tt. if... i do haf de time.

worked til late todae. step in library de laz min to pay my 15 cents fine cos i return de book a dae late. muahah. n.. i paid by NETS again. stupid rite? cos dey onli accept cashcard or NETS at de counter. since i dun haf a cash card, so i used NETS. i find it farni. wanted to go sci ctr McDonald for sth. so i walked all de wae dere. guess wat?! it's closed at 7pm!!! LMAO. i didnt noe it n stupidly walked all de wae dere. n i gotta walk bac to JE again. haiz. if i noe earlier, i wulden go todae.. wasted my time walkin here and dere at 'midnite'. it does look lik mid night dere. de whole street was dark. hmmx. perhaps i shld try goin again mayb tmr?

learn driving... learn driving... learn driving!!!

i'm so looking forward to de end of my contract. so tt i cn go bac malaysia to spend my daes wif aunties n cousins, enjoy de serenity dere, enjoy de nice food, buy nice clothes and shoes... lots more!!!

kayys/ i wan slp liaoz. super tired lik mad. de nxt few daes are nt goin to b easy for me. at least til thu. bye nite..

2009-02-05T22:26:00.002+08:00

made a decision nt to blog abt my CNY life dis yr online. jus dun haf de mood to rite. in blog though i haf alot to sae. mayb i will cum bac wif alot of pics tmr cos it's my company's reunion dinner. gonna celebrate jan n feb babies bdae... but onli gt 4 person i guess cos de other one nt gg. nvm. but i look forward to de reunion dinner tmr. :)

dis wk is... simply stress out! dunno why. nt much work but super stress. hope i can finish de tinks by tmr.

2009-02-01T13:57:00.002+08:00

yea. i'm feeling stress. dunno why. dis is de first time i feel so stress over work. yea. now, i'm trap in de middle. i dunno wat shld i do. de same tink kip repeating in my mind: isit me tt's in de wrong. or jus tt i tink too much. one shlden feel so stress over work. work is nt one's life!

gt a strong feelin tt i'm gg to lose my job soon. received a call from siti laz nite. 9 plus. but miss call. so i msged her. n she ask me out for coffee. why did she ask me out for coffee? we haf 'nth' gt to do wif each other during work. so tt makes me worried now. wondering wat's de reason why she ask me out. it's onli 2 pm! i stil gt 2 whole mths to survive wifout ani long wkends or public hols!

can sumone teach me how to destress n survive in a work environment?

tell me how to get songs for blog!!! stupid song. gone case.

2009-01-31T20:11:00.003+08:00

hmmx. bac in singapore on thu morning.

wed nite was a disaster to me... de stupid coach tt i board was 8:15. arghz!!! darn early n it haf to go 'all over' malaysia to pick pple up. nvm de picking. de worse tink is tat de bus has gt no air con!!! though de 'fan' tt dey on was high spd, it's stil hot. wat's abv all is tt de bus stil has cockroaches crawling all ard. ask dad to kill it for me. guess wat time did we left malaysia for de journey bac to singapore?! 12mn. cos aft all de stupid picking up of pple, de driver stil drive to a place to fix the air con. man! it feels so shitty. n i onli reach de new custom at woodlands 7:45am. tot tt by the time i reach home wil b close to noon. but no. luckily, de custom has gt nt much pple. cleared both singapore n malaysia custom wifin 1 hr. cab back. de cab has gt no queue as well. reach home safely at 9:15am. hse work, hse work n more hse work for me. :x

ytd was a norm working dae. but de office has gt no pple. cos most pple go boss hse for new year party. so i took time to complete my tinks. most pple facebook in office. n many left early. eveline n me wait til 6pm then leave. stupid us... kenneth was de most poor tink. he stil nid to do so many tinks despite new yr. reach home kinda early. saw dewi. but we took diff bus. so i catch her at her void deck to gif her tinks. hmmx. so long nvr c her aldy. bath n online. watch love or bread, wo de yi wan mian bao, online.

watchin it de whole dae todae. catching it again ltr. :) gotta cont watching nw. bye!

it's fotos time!!! :)

2009-01-31T12:41:00.005+08:00

super random fotos!!! yeah. finali i haf the mood to upload fotos. these are onli part of de fotos cos my cam gt prob. how cum de battery gt prob?!

This is my new slipper from malaysia. RM10. Less than S$5. super cheap n looks nice. but nt nice to wear. leg super pain aft wearing. It's my first pair of slipper purple in color. :) nice?

panda biscuits from huini. she gt it from hong kong. kinda nice larx. taste like... norm biscuits... jus tt de pattern is nice.

my wall new yr deco. de 2 cows chosen by me. nice? de other one is wif pacifier. i dun like. so i choose de one wif de twist! :D

my door.

close up! :) is de deco nice? i lik de las cow. 乳牛! black n white. black n white. :)

my bdae cake for dis yr. we took so long to take fotos til de candle wax flow to de cake.

bdae pressie from zhi. inside is a dog coin purse.

bdae pressie from bel. star bracelet. love it man!

a mini bag from ori. dis is de close up. nice?

bag from ori.

have u ever seen a game tt can make 5, 19 goin on 20, teens so happie? yea! dis is de game. coporate ladder!!! forgt whose counter was dis. muaha.

i oso dunno whose counters are these. bel's, ww's or mine?

look at the green counter. Zhi won!!! at 11:30pm on 10th jan 2008. look at the grey counter. it's a contrast. ros!!! de laz. but nt too bad. at least she haf 80. haha. o0ps! de date on de foto is wrong.

yar! this is de coporate ladder tat makes us go crazy for hrs.

me n my cake. i wan de other dome shape one!!!

me wif my cake n frens.

2009-01-29T20:23:00.000+08:00

dont be a slave to the daily grind.

life is too short to be a slave to the daily grind.

with respect to living life to the fullest, first, try interacting with the people outside your circle. positive interaction help boost our mood and temperament. second. be thankful for the things that go right each day. and if u happen to get stuck in the jam on the way to work, look at it positively as time for personal reflection. third, pursue your passions. finally, some of us need to forgive ourselves. all of us makes mistakes, so instead of playing these less than postitive encounters over and over in our minds, its best to learn from them to move on. the trick is to focus on living a fulfilling life right now, rather than harping on the past.

the legendary actor james dean once said: "dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

2009-01-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

wAhh!!! i'm too busy to blog dis period of time. jus came bac to singapore todae from malaysia. my trip was... alrite i shld sae. wif 3 pairs of new shoes. :)

shall blog abt the trip mayb during wkend. dere are alot of tinks nt done now. omg!!! yea. n i nid to work tmr. while ww is on leave til next thu. 0oh man! kinda sianz.

the new malaysia custom is a lil beta i shld sae. perhaps it wasnt the peak hr wen i clear it. so... it was relatively fast i shld sae. abt 15 min to half hr.

hmmx. i can upload my fotos!!! stupid shit. no batt in cam.

gotta prepare for work tmr. bye.

2009-01-18T21:24:00.002+08:00

yah... right. as usual, my guess is rite aft all. jus went out for a dinner n came back. nth special aft all. n... i m onli starting to rite my reflection now wich is to b on her table de first tink tmr morning. but... i dun reali care. jus rite how i feel.

2009-01-18T16:58:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to myself! :D

todae is yet another ordinary dae. wif nth special gg on. it's wasted jus lik tt.

wondering wat's for ltr.

yah. i nid to rite a reflection n gif to liting tmr. wich i'm supposed to reflect throughly. but i haven touch a single tink. jus anihow rite one which looks like a real reflection will do. wat's worse than a reflection on ur bdae?

wanted to take pics of my bdae pressie. but... my cam jus died on me. so i didnt reali manage to take ani fotos. tink i will take n upload de fotos nxt time.

my bdae... jus gone n wasted lik tt.

2009-01-17T23:31:00.003+08:00

yeah. i'm turning 20 in another half hr time. wich i dun look forward to. ...

todae is as usual... disappointing.

yea. i dun wish to sae why. but it feels lik everydae is a normal dae n every yr is a normal year. i'm yet again doin repeated tinks over n over again. i didnt get to do wat i wan in de end.

Thanks everyone who celebrated for me, who gaf me presents.

for consecutively two years, i'm nt enjoying my bdae. i guess it will get worse each yr. so... im nt reali lookin forward to 21. i m seriously reconsidering whether i shld do wat i wan to do.

didnt take ani pics todae. wasnt in de mood for it.but i'll upload de fotos of my presents tmr tt i gt this yr, wich i see an increase.

2009-01-15T21:12:00.003+08:00

i m tired as usual...

my mood isnt tt fantastic nor reali bad.

BUT!!! one tink tt i dun realli look forward to is my bdae...

COUNTDOWN TO MY BDAE: 3 daes.

onli 3 more daes to enjoy 19...

yeah. work is jus norm. wen it's free, it's free. wen i'm busy, i wil b reali busy. gt to noe by accident tt my boss is actually planning to celebrate my bdae for me. thanks. but im nt in ani mood. im so tired this wk. yea. kip working OT.

2009-01-11T19:40:00.004+08:00

i realise tt it isnt easy to be an adult. Other than being mature and confident, one nids to tink for others as well...

Discussing abt a sensitive issue at home is by any means an arduous undertaking. but i tink i haf done it well todae. wif me discussing abt financial planning wif dad todae. though he gaf me de look lik i tie him too tightly, but i dun care. if he doesnt plan, we're all goin to suffer along wif him in de cumin daes. i m seriously tinkin whether did he consider all de consequences b4 starting a family. well. i guess i cant choose now. so i choose to do wat i can do by meself. even mum gaf me a thumbs up aft tt. yar. i dun care abt de consequences aft tokin to him. even if our relationship gets rough, i'm nt gg to care. i m nt gg to suffer tgt wif him bcos of his poor financial planning.

yup. im determine to win over him dis time round. n im winning half de battle. at least i gt it all out. :)

todae had another round of steamboat from ytd nite leftovers. yar. i stil prefer to eat alone/wif my bro. cos we both love enjoying life. while others in de family eat as if its 'hungry ghost festival'. i noe i shulden sae dis but... i cant tink of anitink to substitute dose words. some tinks are beta to b left unsaid...

i'm tired. seriously tired. slpt ard 3am ytd. woke up at 7 plus am todae. watched doraemon. no jogging for 2 wks aldy. saddenin. i gained weight.

my giddiness wifin me is starting to cum bac. guess wat happened? i feel giddy twice todae. wonder wat's wrong wif me...

random personality tests.

2009-01-11T01:52:00.004+08:00

What type of element are you?

Water.
You are calm and sound minded. You know hw do use your enemy's force against them. You do not rush into situations but think things through. You have a passive attitude but you always stay sound minded.

cupcake or cookie?
You are a CupCake. You are a delicious treat. Your loved by everyone. Your very confident but also sweet. At times you lose your temper. D: Your the black haired one or the red head.

My dark side.
Your dark side is soft and recessive. It is rarely visible. Usually you are the only one hurt by your dark side, because you keep to yourself in your darkest hour.

How old are you really?

Middle aged
You act mature for your age, but still kow how to have a fun time! YOU NEED TO AGE IT DOWN A BIT!!

my bdae celebration part 1.

2009-01-11T00:55:00.003+08:00

yea. i woke up at ard 5 dis morning n start cryin again. perhaps im reali too stressed...

went to de immigration and dunno wat's tt place name. at lavender. it was kinda fast. dunnit wait lik wat shit super long queue. my mood wasnt very good then. but i tried to read a story bk to distract myself. i find tt i fell in love wif reading story bks. yup. den dwn to chinatown n breakfast den market. to sheng siong den mum treated us bubble tea. soyamilk wif pearl for my bro and super chocolate ice blended for me. so i drank while watchin dvd n slp aft tt. til abt 3 den wake up. quickly pack up my room, sweep up de whole hse, pack de hse n bathe den go out to mit ww. ask dad to collect cake as well. dad went west coast plaza den collect. we wen walking ard west coast for one round, bus bac to my hse. walk ard sheng siong n to my hse. saw my 4th aunt, uncle, 8th aunt and cousin. so ww n me chat n c my tinks. show her my cj7 tt swee kiang gif me. super cute. n ros came nt long aft. played de coporate game tt dunno who sent me tru my mail box. it's kind of lik snake n ladder. we kip playin n de game is nvr ending. finally it ended n we culd eat. all of us are hungry lik mad. todae i considered eating very lil. dunno why. but i jus culden eat in peace. til 8 plus. cont playin uno and 'bluff' using poker. til hz came n we eat de 2nd round. hmmx. de timing is jus so rite. bel n hz came at de same time. so steamboat again. nt me, but hz n bel ate a lil. yea. n we took a few pics. ate cake n we start playing de coporate ladder game again. before eating, i won. aft eating, hz won. n off dey go. 11:30pm. ww, bel and ros cabbed bac. kinda cheap for 3 of them. if hz add in, even cheaper. hmm..

kayys. shall decide where shld i go nxt sat. my bdae celebration part 2! :D shall upload de fotos once my frens put up on facebook. :)

i'm ready to tok. ...

2009-01-09T20:39:00.002+08:00

i can no longer kip my feelings to myself.i m nt gd at hiding my feelings but i tink i did a great job in the past years.

yea. once again im feeling stress. so stress tt i feel i culd die ani moment. de giddiness in me is starting to cum bac.

yea. i dunno wat im doin rite now. super depressed. due to money again. money can jus kill me one dae. but i dun care.

wif all de payments tt i nid to make, i stil gotta fork out additional... kinda imbalance rite now..

yar. as u can guess. dad is borrowin money from me again. dis is de 2nd time for this month. total of $720. my whole mth pay is gone k?! im nt rich...

was super pissed wif him tt i was being reali rude to him jus now. til now, i stil dun wanna tok to him.

im nt in ani mood to celebrate my bdae tmr.

2009-01-08T20:52:00.002+08:00

jus came bac from work. ... i wan to try to express my tots hence im here.

wanted to eat mac breakfast dis morning. but i c dun haf de tink i wan so i didnt eat. bought a big pau instead. my fav. did abit of cleaning then start my work. lunch wif calina n valen. bought subway back. todae i eat tuna. shld eat cold cut. tuna dun taste as nice. but i enjoyed my meal. jus love subway super lots ever since i start eating lik ard 3 mths ago. ... wen out to mit client at city hall. ate J CO donuts. chocolate on top but de filling is actually coffee. abit nicer than e donut. so tempted to eat another 6. but i jus had my lunch.

hmmx. my work haven finish. stil left wif files to pack n forms to kip. wanna thank sharon for remindin me tt de managers are touchin dwn tmr at ard 5 plus. wich means by 6, if dey wanna cum dwn to office, dey will reach! omg! so i beta finish up my tinks before 5.

tmr nid to reach eunos by 9. so i can actually go out at my normal timing. to reach eunos, i nid onli 36 mins. :) lucky sia! haha. no nid go boon lay. aniwae, it's de same for me. doesnt matter where i go.

thnks to all de managers goin overseas for AGM tt i can go out to mit client, can get to enjoy food at different places. felt so blessed everytime i eat sometink nice. i know alot of places tt i didnt go before, i becum a better traveller n maybe a tour guide in singapore. :)

yea. now then i know why im alwaes in low spirits... i cant express myself. nt by speaking, nt by typing, nt by riting. i can haf trains of tots racing tru my mind everydae, every minute, every second. but everytime i try to translate my tots into speech or posts, dey fail. i find tt im alwaes struggling to pen my tots. i dunno why. so tts how shitty i feel rite now. i wanna sae, but those pple who actually understands me dun wanna listen. i wanna rite, but i cant find the words to express my tots clearly. yup. im constantly tinkin how to make myself happie cos im nt one. but i feel tired n in de end, i dun feel happie at all. why is tt so?

tok to me... tok to me... tok to me...

i mus do tinks tt i wanna do!
i mus do tinks tt i like!

yeah. im feeling shitty rite now.

2009-01-07T19:52:00.002+08:00

todae.. i've realise alot of tinks. ... i'm oso beginning to tink alot.

had breakfast tgt wif other PAs. i bought for them. super hearvy k?! 8 person's breakfast. but very cheap. ard $14 onli. we sat tgt n eat at 9am. chatting abt gg overseas n overseas experience til 9:45. miting nxt. tok abt jnp culture. n how we wanna grow this yr. we were discussing abt eveline's 2 daughters n hw we can help her elder daughter...

realise tt i'm stil loving psychology jus lik hw i lik it wen i was 11 yrs old. but too bad, i'm nt allowed to study tt...

well, i tink tt she nids to go to a counsellor...

it's my turn to share my growth. of course! i tok abt work. but stil crap abit. i feel lik giving having kids of my own... but i dun wanna takkaire. haha. kiddy rite? so we kip side tracking n side tracking n side tracking till 11am. den quickly round up. n we did our stuff.

i stil feel lik studyin psychology... dun ask me why. i jus lik it.

alot of new yr resolutions. but i guess i can onli achieve 2.

countdown to my bdae: 11 daes.

2009-01-06T23:10:00.001+08:00

omg! the abstract below is so tru!

What does my birthday mean?
At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around. Your Love, You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

2009-01-06T22:09:00.002+08:00

yea. as my nick suggest... "its so heartenin to be alone on your burfdae"... u can guess wat happen. i jus feel disappointed. i dun blame my frens though. cos it's a real laz min decision.

i'm stil tinkin.. wat to do on de 17th. shld i go escape? or shld i make other decisions...

i'm reali nt in de mood to celebrate or anitink. i onli wan to do wat i realli feel lik doin. but every year, as i look bac, i will regret tt i waste my bdae... nth will make me nt regret anitink.

arghz!

focus! focus! focus! guess this is wat i shld do rite now.

my boss is out of town dis week. so kinda relac. first time de office is so empty. de cafe lights are nt on as well. ytd was kinda relac-xing. went to mit client, do all de stupid callings n tts it. todae too. mit client. wen SNEC to visit them. had a kinda nice chat wif dem. bought some muffins der as well. but i onli saw portia eat. hmmx. bought my lunch bac from angsana cafe. de food is kinda big portion but nt very nice. no fried chicken!!! saddenin man! purposely go bac to eat fried chicken. portia told me dere's cheesy fish n chip todae... too bad! i've bought my lunch. do some callings, went to mit client then off i go. shopping wif mum at chinatown. miz portia. she actually wants to go out but i've gt no time. perhaps 17? or 29?

gosh! dere's a mitin tmr n i m to prepare sth for it. but i haven. nid to buy breakfast for them oso. nid to start preparing the investment stuff already. starting to get busy dae by dae...

nt in de mood to do ani counting dwn todae...

2009-01-04T19:37:00.002+08:00

todae... im feeling abit beta. aft de whole dae of slpin ytd. u guess how many hrs i slp laz nite? i woke up at 6am to go make my passport. wanted to shop wif mummy de whole of ytd. tts wat my mum tot too. but im too sick to go. wen bugis to walk walk ard den go home. wanna faint aldy. first time having fever aft so long... my bones ache to de core n de breakfast tgt wif de long hrs of standing make me wanna puke. wanted to go bac to snec for a look since i gt out of my hse but i culden make it aldy. came str home wif mum aft shopping at bugis. hope mum is nt disappointed... took bus n reach home ard 12. eat 'xiao bai' n 'xiao huang' den slp all de wae til 3:30pm. watch dvd til 5:30 pm den eat dinner n slp at ard 9pm. woke up at ard 11:30pm to watch rainie yang. slp at 12am. woke up at close to 7...

total no. of hrs slpt ytd: 3.5+2.5+7=13hrs!!!

so tt explains de energetic me todae.. went out for breakfast wif my dad. ordered my cake. erm. chocolate craving. de one i had since i was young :) ... 1kg. but i tink it's kinda small. abit.. nt so happie. i hope everytink will turn out well. im starting to feel tired nw... but it's alright. nxt wk will b a kinda relaxin wk. can do tinks at my own pace. hmmx. starting to plan...

countdown to my bdae: 14 daes

2009-01-03T19:15:00.002+08:00

okie... de stupid comp takes super long time to load. im super hungry! super tired. ...

yup. i fell sick. imagine pple lik me can fall sick as well. wasnt feeling too well ytd. but i cant slp. woke up super early todae. jus to make a stupid passport. im so tired tt i m nt in de mood to do ani shopping. came home aft buyin my seaweed. n slpt til almost now den wake up. super hungry. i wan to eat then slp again. tired.

i dun wan to work!!!

having fever n flu...

countdown to my bdae: 15 daes.

arghz!!! todae's starters is : 2249. haiz. miz one number. lemme strike 4D please.

2008-12-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

todae is mon. i tot will b abit relac. but end up, super busy. i haven done wif all de submission. and dere are super lotsa tinks for me to do. stupid underwritings. have to finish it by this wk. arghz!

u noe?! all my efforts gone down to waste. aft all de efforts and hardwork put in to slim dwn for the past half yr, came bac in a mth's time. saddening. it feels so depressing. i dunno wat i can do to make up for all de time lost and the gain in weight.

my passport haf to b renew and i nid to haf passport size photos to b taken. but... i haven even take de pic cos i m scared tt i will look ugly in de pics.

im depressed... yea.

i ate alot todae. i tink i shld ... arghz!!! ate roti prata in at home. den a muffin and a few pcs of new year cookies before work. had mee soto and fried chicken wing for lunch todae. kip eating de cookies bac in office. now, im bac home and ate half a bowl of rice wif half a cream puff and 1 muffin. omg! i m gainin n i've gain weight!

gonna exercise soon. 9-9:30pm. if nt, i will jus look lik pig. man! pls dun let me look lik a pig!
i'm scared, i'm scared, i'm scared.

countdown to my bdae: 19 daes.

too stress to even countdown to my dae... nt in de mood to celebrate or anitink. :x

i regretted eating de fried chicken wing todae. n my tummy feels... weird.

0oh man! i reali feel lik cryin nw.

2008-12-28T12:11:00.006+08:00

woke up at 10:30 todae. it's 1pm nw!!! OMG! i've onli eaten my lunch and jus bathed. so many tinks to do but so lil time. lucky dis wk is lik laz wk. mondae, tues, wed half dae... n woohoo! kayys.

went to dunno-which-relative's wedding ceremony at church ytd noon. bethesda church at depot road. tt explains the pic below. isnt de snowman and reindeer cute? perhaps nt so nice in pic. but wen u actually c it urself, they are super cute. :) de ceremony was norm. my first time seeing a christian wedding.. isit? i oso dunno. haha. i enjoy the process. :) n we took grp foto. too large a grp i shld sae. wore hills de whole dae. til my legs hurts. muaha. de whole ceremony is abt 1 hr 15 mins. kinda fast. n tea reception!!! muaha. de food are okie i shld sae. i ate quite alot though im full. had abt 6-8 pcs of sushi, 14 breaded prawn, 3 pcs of oatmeal fish, 2 breaded scallop, 6-7 pcs of curry chic, 4 cups of orange squash, half a plate of hong kong noodles n.. i tink tt's all. *burp* de curry chicken is nice, breaded prawn is nice, but the fish is nt. muaha. n dere's fried rice and vege i didnt eat. wen walking ard de depot shopping ctr? for awhile n went vivo. finally drank my strawberry yoghurt ice blended wif pearl, saw de dogs and... nth else. seems lik everytime i go vivo, i cant finish walkin the whole place. looking forward to de dae wen i can realli unwind... :)

isnt de deco cute? love the reindeer and snowman.

yea. de stupid me fell aft takin dis pic. thanks to my heels. haha.

c my poor tink bear. he is drowning!!! HAPPIE!!!(tt's his name.)

another shot.. seem lik he's reali drowning. haha. my mum bathing him. cos she sae tt he's too dirty. nvm. even if he turn black, i will stil love him.

this was taken on xmas eve.. my company xmas tree. wif presents underneath.

focus on the presents!!! dey are really for us. muaha.

look at de decos. except for the balls, the rest of de tinks are actually presents for us. valen is so creative to put the presents on the tree. :)

a close up of tree.

yar. this is one dae aft xmas party. more pple put de gifts on de tree. dere are cards for us too. :) but look at de mess of de pressies on de floor.

a close up on de mess of presents. poor meihui, april, eveline, sharon, me n lotsa pple, haf to fish ard for our gifts.

"fragile, please handle with care." this is from kenneth. nt to me, but...

take a close look. to so many pple! all inside de box. muaha. n de black words on de rite side of de card is "thunderous applause". muahaha. i realli lol wen i saw dis gift.

the aftmath of xmas party. de chairs are all over de place n so messy. :x

rubbish and leftovers are all over the floor, bar top and beside de sink.

a jar of coookies dunno made by who. seems nice. *yum yum*

kayys. tt's all. gg out now. post more de nxt time if i haf time?

*bdae wishes and bdae pics.. i hope i culd haf a hundred or two* ;)

2008-12-27T12:09:00.004+08:00

work's okie for this wk. haha. cos onli work 3 and half daes. :) alot of things happened this wk. it's my turn for fruits. so i actually haf to buy 1.5kg of grapes, 2kg of honeydew and 10 korean pears. it's super heavy. til my hand bleed. cos de pears are super heavy. as in, heavier than de weight i can bear. but it's fun to decide wat fruits to buy. i realise tt i dun exactly know how to choose fruits. der... dere's stil room for improvement. was happily serving fruits for this wk. at least i learnt who are the managers in jnp. muaha. valen's way of remb is easy. all in de row except for de one wifout windows. muahahahaha. kayys. finally tried my tamago dis wk!!! chicken n prawn. ckn is eveline's while prawn is mine. but we shared. ckn is nicer than prawn i shld admit. kinda nice but super oily. so nxt time we shld order 1 n share or order fr jnp. cheaper n not so oily. cos it actually nid to b put on hotplate. yup.. my boss gaf me xmas pressie on tues. a grey color bag. she actually asked me b4 she buy. haha. de bag is okie i shld sae. cos up til now, i haven seen another bag tt i wanted so much aft i had my silver bag. yarh!!! de GUESS bag tt i saw at OG. but it's $100++! i want to buy 2 of them. they looked so pretty!!! shld i? hmmx. shld decide. wed had miting till 11 plus. everyone jus crap most of the time. so it ended kinda late. i was practically slacking tru out the dae. den lunch wif meihui, shiwei, kenneth, eveline and sharon. nice one. prawn noodle. nice and no pple sumore. :) had a great time chatting wif them.

cousin came. so i actually visit dem during my working hrs. :p but for a few seconds onli. went orchard to mit them aft work. den walk ard de streets to c the xmas lightings n went shaw hse supermarket. was super hungry til i eat ani food dere is for sample. haha. bought a few sushi. n we took bus dwn to vivo. jus anihw walk ard n ate at food republic. had roasted pork noodle since mee soto is sold out. sadden... wanted to eat mee soto. hungry! so i added noodles. n finish up de whole tink. see de nite view for awhile then go home. wed.. half dae. so i actually went bugis to mit my mum and family. walk walk ard b4 gg to buy some new yr goodies. tao kae noi is selling at $1 per small packet and $2 per large packet. cheap!!! de big one is usually $2.95. nw i tink even more ex aldy. haha. so mum sae tt my ears are actually sharp at listening to dis kind of tinks. haha. discounts?! i will noe almost everytink. :D den wen chinatown. walk ard. brought my cousin to tt shop wif super big size clothes. n tt stupid aunty isnt friendly. jus because aft ard 1 hr of tryin, she onli bought one pc. if nt for my cousin, i wuld haf jus haul bad words at her. yar. i SWEAR tt i will nt buy anitink in her shop animore. i jus hope her shop will fold one dae. cab home ard 7. it was drizzling. ... de whole family came while we're having dinner. mum's side one. took a few pics n had alot of nice food. snacks n dinner. n we chat abt drama series til abt 11 b4 my relatives went home. prepare to slp.

went johor on thu. wake up, to dewi's hse n pass her pressie before preparing to go johor. cleared s'pore custom very fast. wifin seconds. s'pore one is actually automated. :) wen out ard 9:30am and reach aun's hse at ard 12. kayy larx. abt 2 hrs. went out for lunch then shopping. too large grp aldy. nt so nice to shop. shld actually go in smaller grp. i wanna go dere n try all other clothes. saw a dress wif bubble bottom. but i didnt actually get to try it. ate tea break n came bac to s'pore. kinda smooth i shld sae. came home n slp. super tired.

kayys. pics time tmr. haha. so long nvr post pics aldy. no time and lazy. muahahah.

wishlist:
1. 2 guess bags tt i saw at OG :
2. baby pink camera :)
3. revamp my bedroom to how i wan it to look like. :)
4. heels. as many as i can have. :)
5. slippers.
6. a dress? tt i saw in johor.
7. a dae at escape...
8. 3 daes at genting!
9. a trip to taiwan!!!
10. strike toto or 4D

2008-12-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

im tired. i reali am. mentally, psychologically n physically. ...

im stretched to my limits last wk. really. loads of 'manual' work n less of slp. such tt my body is in a shitty condition. flu for the whole wk plus a bloated stomach ytd nite aft half hr of slp at 1am. n i woke up at 7 plus todae. ... did quite alot of tinks. can sae tt wat nids to be done is done todae.

as of todae, my hair is no longer black n white. i dyed my hair. yup! i finally dyed my hair. :) de dye i bought was pink beige. but de color turn out to b brown. it was okie to me... so long as my hair is colored. :) aniwae, i cant dye bright colors as well.

fell aslp in de aftnoon while waiting for my mum to dye hair for me. it's okie though. im tired aniwae. til my eyes cant open. wrap the presents once i woke up at 5 plus... til 9 plus before im done wif every single one. mum helped me s well. seeing me do very slow. swept the floor and kept my clothes, sew bac de button b4 i online. ...

yeah. once again, i feel stress. stress of work. im scared tmr i will haf to submit another 10 insurance and investments in a dae. it's driving me crazy. n... de worse tink is tt i m nt allowed to make another mistake. i hope tt i wun make mistakes too. but, i m jus another human being on earth. how can i nt make mistakes? tts why im stress. on top of all those submissions, i stil nid to do other tinks. how m i going to find time and finish all my stuff? tell me...

i hope i can survive through another wk. dis wk can sae... i dunno shld sae long or short... it will be tiring. mon n tues... work full dae. tues aft work, may b gg out. i dunno. dunno wat's de plan oso. wed, half dae for me, gg out aft tt as well. thu, might b gg to johor. uncle's hse for shopping? fridae is a norm workin dae. hope it turn out alrite as well. sat... relative's wedding. omg! kill me man! it will b super tiring. but at least, i onli effectively work for 4 daes, includin wed n sat. :)

nxt wk will b de same tink. jus tt 31st, im stayin at home. rather tired.

nxt mth's comin! my bdae's cumin! :) posted a wishlist before. look out for de nxt wish list! :)

2008-12-20T22:34:00.003+08:00

yea. im lik dead rite now. super tired. guess wat?! i worked the WHOLE of todae. dere goes my saturdae. i'm stil young k? i stil wan to play. all i get aft a dae at work todae is an off dae on wed
nxt mth. isnt worth it k?! but i gt no choice. ... dread workin... spent my whole wk at work todae.

recently, im stretched to my limit. yea. im goin bonkers soon. work n work n more work. super tiring. stil nid to alot of tinks n faster dis period of time. so i will make mistakes here n dere. n de forms are ever changing. each time a form change, i will rite wrongly. so... end up, i wil get scolding. haiz. i tink work is tough. nt suppose to scold vulgar words... i can cos i rarely use them. nt suppose to tink negative... how can i???!!! i m oso a human being. i oso haf my likes and dislikes. i oso haf my own character n tinkin. ... so how can i unless i change myself? if i change myself, i wun b me animore. i will b jus lik ani other person on de street. I WAN TO BE ME! other than i cant sae i dunno, nvr tot abt it, i cant write anitink wrong. if nt, i nid to work OT for each tink tt i do wrong. yeah. as u can guess, im stress to my limit. goin bonkers soon.

my brain is dead since long ago. de tinks tt pple jus tell me, i can forget wifin seconds. im realli tired. ... to de extent tt i dun remb ani single tink.. to the extent tt i can slp wifout eating. i m so stress tt i culden even eat now. nt even my fav ice kacang n noodles. ... where ever i go, i will tink of work. ani trace of surrounding tt resembles my work place, i will tink of work. de best part of all is... i tink of work n dream of work even wen i'm slpin. stress... arent i?

i reali nid to tok, nid to hang out wif frens more, nid to relieve myself from work...

isit reali me? tt cause myself to b lik this? but how can i b more carefree?

kayys. 24, 25, 31 n 1 cumin soon. long wkend? at least slacker work? perhaps not... til jan. im scared tt i cant finish my stuff on time. haiz..

god.. pls bless me. dun let me fill in ani forms wrongly.

cousin is cumin from Malaysia nxt wk. so i tink i will haf a fun wk. at least dun make me so stress. :)

is all de effort worth it aft all?

2008-12-16T20:39:00.002+08:00

so my wkend was super tiring. ...

breakfast at jurong east market. cos mum went dentist. she saw a pair of shoe tt looks nice. she wanna ask me buy. so i met her dere. ate n walk ard. she bought me a top tt looks nice. omg!!! i can sae i didnt realli lik tt top. buying on impulse is wat i alwaes do recently. can sae tt i buy clothes almost every wkend. it seems lik im wasting alot of money... n buyin new clothes dun haf ani significance animore. ... so went home, watch youtube, love contract!!! kinda nice. but alwaes see ariel lin's 安全裤. so de view... nt so nice. but her acting skills darn good. now... stil tinkin of wat show to watch cos i finish almost every show tt i culd tink of. ... ah!!! cum back. so prepared to go out. wanna go bugis n search for cheap tinks. wen out wif mum. to find my stuff first then temple and shopping!! muaha. n i bought my jumper tt last!!! at $30. i tink it's kinda worth it. better than the clothes at bossini. dun wan sae animore... sadden by de clothes dere. hmmx. kind of prepared for CNY aldy. m tinkin rite now, wat to wear for my bdae. shld i wear de jumper? n buy another dress for CNY. aft tt, went to buy some food. den went chinatown for dinner. duck noodles and fried dumplings. ...

work's tiring as usual. tmr is wed!!! :) PA miting, clean table then lunch. half dae gone lik tt. :) nxt half dae, finish up all submissions and follow up. n... home sweet home. woots! wkend is soon. n nxt wk is X'mas aldy. haha. Merry Xmas to me first for preparing all de presents. i haf exactly 1 wk from todae to prepare every single one.

cousin's coming from Malaysianxt tues!!! i'm so looking forward to it! :D

i m ready to embrace lotsa shopping and food for the whole of nxt wk. :D

2008-12-13T15:05:00.002+08:00

jus gt scolded by mum cos i didnt take in de laundry b4 i get out of the hse. n... it rained heavily the moment i step out of my block. wanted to get my lunch. nice one. so i nid to rewash all de laundry and mop the stupid floor. pls. i haven even lunch. time check: 3:10 pm. n dere are jus so many tinks to do. yea. as u can guess. i feel so stress nw.

tell me how shld a 19 yr old gal look lik? and wat does a 19 yr old gal does.

2008-12-12T22:50:00.004+08:00

yeah. it's been busy this wk. super busy. til time pass so fast n i didnt noe til it comes to this wkend.

kinda okie wif work. at least can manage most of the tinks. cant reali remb wat i did on tues. wed n thu, my boss is nt in de office. outside for meetings. so for 2 daes, she ask me to go Orchard n mit her. haha. took the chance to go shopping. KINOKUNIYA!!! it's been long since i last wen dere. alot of books changed. there are alot of new bks which i wanted very much. but too bad. if i buy all the mags and bks tt i lik, they will cost a few hundred bucks at least. saddened. so i jus browse tru dere. since i dun haf much time oso. ate takoyaki and the tink tt doraemon loves. culden recall de name all of sudden. so... jus as i guess. over budget this wk. n i dunno where all my money go to. de balance jus dun tally. hmmx. ... okie. try nt to tink too much...

focus!!!

on my coming bdae. wat do i wan. ...
1. money!!! :) more red packets.

wats for new yr???
1. jumper/dress
2. a mature bag
3. heels, heels and more heels!!! :)

mus slim dwn more!!! cos new yr i cfm gain weight de.

haiz... thnks to de economic dwnturn tt i cant do anitink. ... i can onli dream.

jus found out todae tt desmond and my bro is in de same lion dance troupe. wen to c my bro practice lion dance todae. so happen tt des saw me n he said hi to me first. hmmx. didnt expect tt. it's lik de las time we met was wif de gals. yea. de des tt im tokin abt is des from my sec sch. ...

2008-12-08T20:41:00.002+08:00

yeah. n 3 daes jus go by... i've onli completed clearing newspper.

suddenly, i feel more relieve todae. ... n i understand sometink...

SPARE MYSELF FROM AGONY AND I WILL BE HAPPIER!!!

yup. bin reflecting on myself why does everyone land in the same situation but the onli diff is tt dey can b happy while im nt? thus, i decided to nt worry abt anitink. at least im tryin hard.

de past 3 daes can sae tt it's super tiring for me. dunno why. but i feel tired. it's supposed to be rest daes and public hol but i tink abt work almost everywhere i go. my onli wish nw is to reali relax myself. nt even a single second of work. isit bcos of work tt i feel tired?

at least i tried... spare me from agony pls.

2008-12-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

omg!!! i wanna puke... my whole mouth is full of de 'carrot' smell. from the root beer that i jus drank. haha. btw, wat's de link between root beer and carrot? i dunno. jus felt tt de aft math of drinkin root beer is like carrot. muaha.

today went ard singapore. ...

woke up at 7 plus aft 8 hrs of slpin. stil tired though. but i decided to listen to songs then go jogging. more than 7 rounds plus walkin to and fro park in 45 mins. pro? nt really though... haha. so i jus pack n get ready to go out. wore pink mickey mouse shirt, black denim skirt, silver mickey mouse necklace and pink shoe tt i bought it 2 yrs ago but wore onli twice or thrice. muaha. wanted to chng to black miceky mouse earrings but my ears are too pain to do anitink to it. gt out of the hse at 10 plus. send bro off to west coast cc for his lion dance...

went tiong bahru mkt for breakfast? it's lik 11 plus wen i eat. reach ard 11 n walk ard to see clothes. queued up for de noodle stall. omg! to tink u can find $2 nice food nowadays?! i jus wanna eat tt stall wifout reali looking at de price of the food. so i onli noe de price wen i was queueing. aft 40 mins of waiting, gt my mum wanton noodles and myself chicken feet noodles. tt's de nicest chicken feet tt i've ever eaten. the portion is kinda big as well. such tt i feel full aft eatin a lil more than half. if u haf time and patience, it's worth queueing. if nt.. so.. to me, de price, quantity and quality is excellent i shld sae. but... de waiting time is horrible. 40 mins for de food, isit worth it? i dun tink so. dere are many other nice food dere but all long queue. sundae, wif super packed carparks and roads, food centre is empty but nice food queues are horribly long... ... wkdays, nt so pack carparks, but crowded food centres, queues for nice food are actually shorter. isnt it ironic? or isit tt pple settle for the nt so nice food on wkdaes n nicer food during wkends? reminds me of my times in SNEC. wkly wed lunch wif julia, portia and ivan at tiong bahru mkt. fried ckn wing wif a bowl of noodles, grassjelly drink in a nice cup, buy alot of finger food back to office n eat. ... i miz those times. how i wish time can turn bac.. had ice cream ice kacang for dessert aft meal, bought some fried dim sum den off to chinatown shopping. nt a reali pleasent and enjoyable meal time. ..

bought some stuff at pple park complex.
isnt this nice? pink beige. :)

muaha! my hair dye. ... dun haf de color i wan. so no choice got to take dis. ..
aft walkin a few shops b4 i finally decide on this. the shop kiper is nice enuff to intro me a better one. but can onli sustain 8 washes. he sae tt brand dun haf chemicals so e color last long but will nt damage my hair. wanted tt initially. but i wan RED!!! too bad dere's no dis color. so he say de brighter the color, the more damaging it is to de hair. so de one wifout chemical dun haf light color. so he intro me another one. wif a bit of chemical. oso dun haf de color i wan. so he sae dis is de brightest color tt he haf. refering to de one i bought. specially designed for teens. :) so i decided to buy dis. isnt the box nice? haha. but he sae tt my hair is black. so it doesnt realli matter wat color i dye. wont haf de effect unless i bleach my hair which my mum dun allow. nvm. shall try dis first. hope tt my hair wil nt b spoilt by e chemicals... walk ard to c clothes and shoes. bought a pair of black toe socks. n off we go. to geylang to c my bro perform. haha. he looks stunned wen we went to find him.

dwn to aljunied, my cousin's hse to c my young cousin. 4 mths old. born on 08/08/08. omg! super cute! n he actually smiled at me many times. muaha. mayb im wearing pink todae? n he liks bright colors? de other 2 yr old cousin kip askin me to open all the cereal for him to eat. omg! n he can actually eat 1 n half containers of it. ate 2 of his honey stars. remind me of dewi suddenly. dewi and her honey stars. "m i good todae, teacher?" --> i alwaes sae dis wen i wan to eat 2 or more of her honey stars tt stick tgt. haha. twist 2 dunno-look-lik-wich-animal balloons for him. haha. n off we go. to punggol to visit my uncle. bought a bottle of meiji choco at $1.60. super nice. :)

his frens were dere wen we reached. so tok for awhile. stayed for half hr den we leave. i dunno wat to sae to him. he smiled wen i say i m dere to c him. n he wanna wave to me wen i say i wan to leave. he onli wave to me and my bro. hope he reali get well soon. i feel tt i realli mus salute all de care givers from all over the world. such a tough n stressful job n dey are able to handle it well. de environment is so.. o0h man! jus a half hr dere n i aldy cant take it. imagine those working dere... suddenly i feel tt dey are the best pple in de world. chuan linn!!! wat do i wanna do in future? walked ard IMH aft tt. to familiarise wif de place jus incase i nid to go. hw cum i kip tinkin of work everywhere i go???

to compass point! by de time we reach, it's aldy 6. dad suggest to eat first. i dun realli feel hungry. cos i had a super filing breakfast of noodles and ice kacang. made a kopitiam card. i nid to clock $6.50 more to upgrade to a blue card in order to get discount. hmmx. shld b able to. had chicken chop hor fun and ice kacang again. hahah. mum wanted to eat red bean milk ice but dad bought ice kacang. it okie. i love anitink tt's cold. :D walked ard aft tt. lookin for christmas gift. i noe wat i wanna gif. but.. cant find. finally found them at precious moments shop. shlden reveal til christmas eve. :) i haven even start preparing for christmas! my tian! i hope i can get my tinks on time.

bought my new pair of sandals from BATA. dunno why i buy wen i dun reali nid it. regret wasting money. yup! now isnt de time to waste money. jus get wat i nid. stick to my plan! stick to my plan! mum initially wanted me to get another pair of shoes for work. she sae dun kip wearin the same pair. so i shld wear dis pair to work sometimes. but i dun reali lik to kip chngin shoes. ..

dad drive us ard wif his lorry. wanted to go orchard but decided nt to seeing the stupid jam dere. chng destination instead. but mum n i dun wanna walk animore. we're tired. so we came home. bought newspper on de wae. was so thirsty tt i culden take it so bought a can of drink. dunno why. but i wanted a root beer. drank abt half can den throw awae. cant let mum know. muaha. too bad. de shop tt i wanted to go didnt open. bel! help me c!

kayys. too tired. wanna slp liaoz. tmrl nid to exercise more due to de stupid intake of one million calories from all the unhealthy food todae. nitenite! :)

2008-12-06T12:33:00.003+08:00

nitrogen pump level for todae: 20%

kayys. seems lik my nitrogen tank is filling up. :) when wil it b 100%?

i m alot happier now. as compared to jus daes ago? yup. i dunno why. it feelx good to b happie. arent it good if u can do onli the tinks tt u want to do? sometimes i m stil wondering wat do i realli wan. isit possible to study full time and part time at the same time?

listen to a few songs last nite. gu dan bei ban qiu is one of the songs tt i listened to. recently, i kip listening to the ariel lin version aft 5-6 yrs of nt listening. was used to her version. dunno why i jus few lik listening to ocean's version n make a comparison. haha. n i realise tt i m nt used to his version at all, the once familiar song is unfamiliar to me rite now... but i stil enjoy it. muaha.

piaing - campus shrewd, 不良笑花, now.watched til ep 9 aldy. 4 more to go. i tink i can finish watching by tmr. til now, i onli lik ep 8. de rest of the ep are boring to me. i dun find the show farni at all. omg! is dere ani show wich can make me laugh lik mad from the first ep to last ep?

was busy wif sometinks last nite. de stupid fan is clogged wif dust such tt i cant use it. de moment i turn it on, de dust fly all over the room. lazy to clean it, so i used SCENTED wet tissue to wipe. n my hands turn black de moment i start cleaning. used 3 pcs. de room smell lik insecticide for the whole nite aft tt. ... kill me pls. insecticide. muaha. lucky de air con tt i turn on aft tt help to 'absorb' abit of the smell.

woke up at 7:40 wen i slpt ard 1:30 laz nite. super tired. wanted to slp sumore but nid to settle some hse work. mum's workin. so have to catch her b4 she leave the hse. yea. n i went bac to slp. thnks to de songs tt my bro on. darn loud. so i turn on my songs too. haha. n de whole hse is super noisy. wait til 9 plus den go jogging. close my eyes truout. n managed to jog 2.5 rounds wifout knocking onto anitink. so i decided to open my eyes and walk for another 4 rounds. bought lunch n 1 pc of roti prata. had roti prata and fish crackers den start wif hsework. washed my fan, shoe and slippers finally. den cook lunch. curry spaghetti wif yong tau foo. haha. wat weird fusion cuisine is tt. but i find it nice. i shall cook somemore tinks on sat. mus noe how to cook. cooking is fun. :) feel lik doin fish and chips and chicken chop for dinner sometime ltr... :) cooking jus rocks. plan plan plan!!!

12 more daes to countdwn to my bdae. haha. but i dun look forward to it. turning 20 soon.

my to-do-list:

1. Finish watching miss no good
2. Pack all my fotos back to where they belong
3. Finish watchin love contract
4. Start watchin corner with love.
5. Pack newsppers.
6. Clear storybooks.

hmmx. let's see how much i can accomplish by monday. my guess: none! haha.

2008-12-05T23:20:00.002+08:00

0oh! it's bin long since i laz blogged. super busy dis wk. tired as well. wif all the work n stuff. yea. im happier at work i shld sae. though there are stil alot of tinks tt i dunno. arghz! why are my boss's things more diff to do den the rest of pple. kayys. it's darn idiot. wed, thu n todae my boss didnt reali step into de office. so it's kinda slack. wen it's slack, it's reali slack. but dere are alot of ad hoc stuff. i dislike tt. cos the time frame for ad hoc is usually very short. wen home a lil earli for past 2 daes. abit ltr todae. it's starting to get tougher to do tinks. esp calling. i hate calling alot. jus tell me tt u are nt interested if u reali are. dun waste my time by sayin call back ltr or another day den tell me u are nt interested.

mood super bad. its hard to kip up wif everytink in life. everytime wen u are satisfied, look bac, n u will realise u lose alot more than u gain. tts how i feel rite now. i guess dun haf mus choice in life. it's all predestined. nadaa. dun wanna blog animore. im super tired now but wif tonnes of tinks to do before i can slp ltr.

2008-11-29T14:49:00.005+08:00

this whole entry shows wat i did on wed. muahah. kinda relac ehx. gotta mit client at braddell. so i was half hr early n did nt noe watta do. so de scene i saw was this:

yup. n i tot tt i culd shop ard first n was kinda happie. but aft walkin for one round, i realise tt dere's onli a 7-11 and 2 budget this fashion. below is de close up:

nt tt close larx. haha.

当时的心情...

"现在很累, 来到了一个我不熟悉的地方... 距离跟客户见面的时间还有29分钟. 想借机会到附近走一下, 结果...完了! 没有几间店. 一间7-11便利店和两间服装店, 四周环境都是组屋. 跟本没东西走. 还好有报纸, 这个好朋友陪我. 度过了漫长的半个小时..."

bel's celebration aft work. :) tot tt i culd go early. but ya. im late. but nt de latest.

dessert. cotton candy. it's been long since i laz had tt.

a grp foto. too bad tt kun didnt turn up. jus a 2 hrs dinner. it's a long awaited foto.

bel's mashed potato n beef. kinda nice.

bel's bdae cake wif de 'nvr-blow-out' candle.

linn's dunno wat half chicken.

another dunno wat chicken. im confuse on whose is whose.

giant beef balls. ww's.

ros's pork rib.

mine!!! pork chop spaghetti. it isnt worth ordering. cos de pork chop is super thin n it doesnt taste nice.

ww's giant beef ball spaghetti.

ni's chicken chop. looks nice.

bel's bdae cake. sara lee chocolate cake! now de cake is kinda ex. remb it was onli 2 plus to 3 plus wen i was young. kinda miz de cake. ...

thu... it was mum's bdae. so i bought 2 muffins bac, since we aldy had cake, from de other-pple-sae-nt-so-nice-but-i-like stall. dun haf mum's fav chocolate chip flavour. bought a banana walnut for dad, blueberry cheese for mum. so i had dinner alone. was de laz to get home. mum dun wan to eat wif me. didnt noe hw to present her de muffin. so i light a candle on de muffin aft my dinner. haha. nvr take de foto. ... omg...

fri. nth much happen ytd except tt my boss treat me to lunch ytd at vivocity toastbox. cos she wans to tok to me. erm.. didnt realli lik de food dere. but i haf nt much food pref larx. ... isit reali my fault? if i listen to wat D told me, it will nt exactly fit wat my boss wan. if i listen to wat my boss tell me, it will nt fit me. i m tryin realli hard. forget it if she doesnt sense or feel or see the amt of effort i put in.. i dun wan to reveal myself. tts de wae i protect myself... dun let others understand me. thuout the conversation, i was tempted to sae: if u tink it's hard for us to work tgt, jus terminate me, im ready. im nt reali affected by dis conversation... dun tink too much. tts de best for me. :)

2008-11-27T21:23:00.003+08:00

todae didnt go office in the morning. went to boon lay instead. was super tired from the dinner laz nite. pics on sat. :) tired... i m stil considering watta do.

2008-11-25T22:14:00.002+08:00

okie... i found out why the url i wan cant b used. cos... i m using tt url in my other blog wich is lik useless. haven even update a single pc of shit. haha.

a commercial caught my ears while i was typing. :) the mediacorp advertising dunno wat. love tt stupid song very much. haha.

work's stress as norm. but at least this wk is nt as stress as last wk. at least for the past 2 daes, im okie actually. i hope work can b smooth everydae... gt jus nice amt of tinks to work on.. jus nice amt of stress to shoulder. i m nt de onli one feelin the stress. along wif me, eveline, priscilla, yong guan, kenneth oso feel de stress. i tink zila will feel it somedae too. yong guan is leaving aft tmr, kenneth is leaving in january. priscilla is stil tryin to tahan. eveline and zila are strong enuff. as for me, ... i dun even noe wat i wan. tinks dun go according to my plan rite now. thanks to de situation in the current market. i hope there are more jobs opportunities out there rite now. i reali miz de daes in SNEC. though sometimes tinks are rough, at least friends are there to support one another. :) called bac again during my lunch hr todae. dey are so busy. dewi sounded so sweet and cute todae. does she haf a bf aldy? tinkin to go dwn n visit them somedae. 0oh. perhaps on 6 dec? cos i'm workin on tt dae. nid to run errand. tmr i will b running outside all dae. whee! time will pass very fast. :)

dunno why... nowadaes i cry very easily. even jus simple tokin to someone, i can jus cry. 0oh man!!! where is de 无敌铁金女 tt i trained myself so hard went to? perhaps i m reali too stress. mum is rite in wanting to reserve a place for me at IMH. :p haha. i tink i will use de space soon.

i rely on my specs so much so tt i cant leave wifout it. i feel lik i cant see anitink wifout it on. love my specs so much for the first time. :)

i dun understand wat m i doing. though i noe this is reali nt wat i wan, seems like i gt nt much choice... i dunno why i alwaes regret the decisions tt i made. no matter wat.

kayys. im too tired. stil gt date aft work tmr. gotta slp early n take alot of nice nice pics tmr. :D

2008-11-22T23:19:00.008+08:00

i haf to quit negative tinkin!!!
i haf to quit negative tinkin!!!
i haf to quit negative tinkin!!!

i nid to accept everytink tt comes!!!
i nid to accept everytink tt comes!!!
i nid to accept everytink tt comes!!!

arghz!

yea. i onli haf time to blog during wkends nowadays. cos i'm super busy wif work to the extend that i have to bring some home and do. sianx... i dun lik work. im working hard towards my goal n at least i consider everytink seriously rite now. so... my days are super packed wif all the tinks.
it seems lik even if u gimme eternity, i stil cant finish the tinks tt i wanna do. ...

n thnks to my work, i actually used to typin full spellin of the words and i becum more polite online n on phone. ... i dun lik the change... i love de wae i m. the nt so polite me...

the busy me multi-tasked wif tv, camera, fone, newsppers and computer. pro? wifin 1 hr. but nth gets done in the end. dunno wat's wrong wif my comp. cant connect to my fone. tts why my stupid fone cant get new songs in. n i cant copy songs from my fone to de comp. Omg!

i m sort of lookin forward to nxt wk but sort of nt. cos out of 5 days, all 5 days will be work. but i guess there will be entertainment for me sometime nxt wk. n ... tt will be miting bel!!! :) aft nxt wk, work for another one wk n it's long wkend! yippie! time will pass very fast then. quite alot of long wkends in the mth to cum. heex. i hope my plan do work the wae i plan n tt may b great? perhaps...

there will alwaes b opportunity cost. ...

my bro finished his A levels finally. n he doesnt wanna work. omg! n i gonna force him work. yar. he changed alot. lol. initially, i wanted to dye my hair. but he gets on wif de highlight first. n he bought a pair of shoe for lik $70++. omg! it's so ex. kayys. perhaps he has his own plans. i must catch up!!! but i cant dye my hair red/pink. the color tt i wan. due to work. sianz. tts y im reconsidering my plan. ..

took my specs todae. tadaa!!!
my green specs. isnt it nice? erm.. i dun tink so...

haha. i dunno if specs shld b lik tt. er.. i mean the change in view tt i experience aft wearing it. cos aft i wear the specs, i feel lik i just used a magnifying glass. shld it b lik tt? i dunno. i tot my blurred vision is cos im tooo tired or wat. but im wrong. it's actually sth wrong wif my eyes. but... i hecked. haha. im nt wearin my specs nw. dun wanna wear. did hsework todae. til im so tired. so i napped for 1 hr jus nw. n i feel... tired. wanna slp aft bloggin... initially, wan to watch some shows. tryin to pia miss no good (bu liang xiao hua).

random photos:

my new dress. $27. jus tried it on n i found it cute. so i bought it but i dun reali nid it... wat a waste of money. isnt it?

the prawn noodle tt my mum cook on my bro's bdae. this bowl is his. mine's aldy half gone n haf no prawns so i haf to use his to take pic. too bad i cant eat prawns cos i jus pierce my ears less than 1 wk ago(b4 his bdae). it's 3x the quantity of those selling outside. my dad's one is even bigger. :)

the jelly tt i made to bring to linn hse on her bdae. i made a few trays for myself as well. :) super cute wif dog, cat, bear, crocodile, fish and frog.

look at the fish wif eyes. how did i made de eye?

look at the frog!!! it's staring at you!

last but nt least, my fav!!! the crocodile. aint it nice n cute? though the pic looks big, it's actually very small. ht: 1cm. length: 6cm.

kayys. i guess tt's enuff. i wan to pia my show n slp sn. :)

bye. nitenite.

2008-11-21T22:37:00.002+08:00

it's fridae!!! finally. aft a super long wk. :x

met ww to walk ard tanjong pagar mrt station. erm. to my 'delight', it was all those apparel stores. there was practically nth to walk. :x we were done in 15 mins. n de whole of de time, we were jus walkin n tokin n practically nth else. decided to go amara hotel. saw shi wei, kenneth and yong guan on our wae dere. is de place opposite amara hotel icon village? wen to walk one round n dere's practically nth to walk. realise tt dere is this sakae sushi buffet dinner. perhaps we can dine dere one dae? haha. tempted to do so. perhaps my bdae? 2 mths ltr. :) since i dun haf animore money to carry on wif my plan... thnks to de economy. forgt abt mentionin my 21st bdae. 20th is aldy gone. ... walk til ard 7 before we head home for dinner. didnt buy anitink. both of us are nt in de rite mood for shopping. we're tinkin abt work n mostly tokin abt work, sch n report. ... is that the life of an adult?

i m seriously considering resigning... cos it's getting tough for me. to tink too many tinks. to remb too many tinks. to ... too many... but i mus haf a battle plan first. esp wif the stupid current market, i cant get tinks done.

yar. wanted to blog on alot of tinks initially. but aft a long chat wif 6 pple for ard 1.5 hrs, i clean forgotten wat i wanted to blog. thanks arhx. haha.

work's super stress. wif high expectations, high workload, blah blah blah. i realise i cant cope.

beginning to drown and get lost in sea. ...

2008-11-16T21:13:00.003+08:00

since lik i've a bit of free time, wan to blog abt wat i did todae.

went expo food fair super early in the morning. reach there at 11. walked ard n ate all the sample food. it's like my breakfast n lunch were settled dere. sampled bak kua. from 'xiang'. nt reali nice though. i dun lik bak kua to start wif... then walk row by row. tried fried vege croquette and nuggets. ate my fill. haha. cheese hotdog nxt. saw de korean bbq squid. nt reali nice. but i tink is worth it. $3 for a medium size squid. doesnt taste nice but special. ate alot of titbits. cod fish crackers and many others which i dunno the name. i saw fishball so i took n tt uncle beside me chee cheong fan nxt. i ate quite alot. though is for food testing. muaha. bought the japanese octopus. 3 for $1.20. erm. nt realli tt nice larx. dey bbq de baby octopus then add de sauce. taiwan mochi nxt. onli tried de chocolate flavour. taiwan fruit jelly. forgt the order for the rest of de food tt i sampled. fried drumlets. 1 spicy, 1 non spicy. the spicy one is too spicy. the original one is tasteless. drank n ate alot of honey(ies). bitter ones, sweet ones, concentrated ones, diluted ones n blah blah blah. bbq makerel. fried cod nuggets. fried calamari rings. macademia mango flavour nuts. macademia oil wif bread. tuna on bread. nata de coco. fried coffee flavoured pork. fried sushi. korean melon ice cream. coffee. tuna. seaweed. n lots n lots of titbits from singapore, japan n i forgt. cant even remb the taste of the food tt i ate. saw mdm xiuling, mdm jingying selling coffee. sir khor n sir sim selling tuna. haha. actually it was 7 for $10. but sir sim gaf it to me at 8 for $10. worth it sia! bought super lots of tinks aft spending 6 hrs inside. 1 pac of fish crackers, 1 pac of prawn crackers, 1 pac tapioca chips, 1 pac of seaweed cum egg yolk stripes, 2 pac of jap seaweed, 4 cans tc boy tuna, 2 wife biscuits, 2 husband biscuits, 3 pong pia, 3 nata de coco, 1 lemon juice, coffee, almond drink, 10 pcs chee cheong fan, 1 stainless steel multi purpose peel. de peel is darn nice to use. easy for beginners like me. haha.

i m jus randomly wondering... wat are the charateristics of a good mother? m i able to do it?

2008-11-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

erm... i dunno where to start... yar. too many tinks to sae. so sumtimes i dun even feel lik bloggin.

hmmx. let me start wif sth serious... nt reali too. haha. okie. it's more of bad news rather than good.

work isnt very good. getting more stress n more tinks to do. i seriously haf to remb wat tinks had bin done n cont wif those tt are nt done. kayys. went to mit client ytd cos gt underwriting and sth else. took abt an hr. though it's easy money, but there are simply heaps of tinks to b done. so i cant spare the time. but luckily, i finish most of the tinks tt are to b done. yar. forgt to sae. met a client in the morning whom i deem tt he's nt very friendly. so.. i can sae tt i haf a hard time askin him to sign a form. luckily, there wasnt a single word tt i wrote wrongly in his application form. hope it can pass. wish me luck pls. ...

suddenly... nt reali tt sudden though... i feel tt clinging onto de past is a really painful tink. but i cant forget the past. so i can onli move on wif wat i had. realise tt i can onli kip my past as memories and move on wif experiences, but cant yearn for exactly the same tink tt i haf in the past, the same good times tt i've enjoyed in the past, though i really want them to b bac to me.
live on...

jus went rainie yang's blog. read her 13/11/08 entry. the similarity btw her and beatrice is lik ml n me. though the bit of diff is how i treat my friend n the wae they pass on... i was reminded of her once again. times btw us were stil great, i do consider. at least for us, its 95% good memories and 5% bad ones. and the good tink is tt most of the time, i retain the 95% good memories. thus, i cant reali forget her. if it's de 5% of bad memories, wil it b easier for me to forgt her? sometimes i really dunno n cant understand how i feel. i dreamt of 'her' once again. i wake up n slp n wake up n slp for the whole nite jus becos i want to call 'her'. but i noe tt she wulden pick up her fone... dreamt tt she's doing very well tt nite n i wanted to call her. so i woke up n realise tt she's gone for more than a yr. i slpt. again, i realise tt she's doin well n wanted to reali cfm tt she's well. again, i woke up to realise tt she's actually gone n tt i can nvr contact her, breathing. i didnt delete her no. jus incase, somedaes, we might 'need' each other again. ... if u cant forget, then dun forget. If it's hurts, then jus let it b. ... another tink tt i realise tt we're actually similar. nt tt we're galz. haha. it's de wae how she n ariel lin befriend. reminds me of me n hz. de story is actually de same.. i shld sae 99% same. reali. haha. wen i tot of it, it's reali childish n i wun haf de courage to do it nw n i wun do it now. kinda admire myself 7 yrs ago. haha.

yeah. again. a super big piece of bad news to me. it's kinda common nowadaes i guess. initially, wan to accompany my mum to collect her specs and wanted to check my eyes. didnt really want to make specs though. but my mum sae $50 to make specs is worth it. omg! i tot tt for perfect eyesight n stuff, wastin $50 on specs is a big deal. but i saw tt de specs is actully nice. so mum ask me to try on a few. she chose the jade color for me. super ex kayys. wif lens is $70. so i decided to check my eyes aft much hesitation. n im actually astigmatic. kinda scared tt de deg is very high. lucky im nt near sighted. so my mum was kinda surprise. im special. mum was actually upset but im nt. but i was realli afraid while having the check. im afraid tt i will b blind somedae. .. but i m gg to prepare for it. the job tt im going to choose is going to hurt my eyes even further in the future.. dun ask my why for i wun reply.

yup! waiting for the big dae to cum in 2 wks time. :) post pics some other times.

2008-11-13T20:28:00.002+08:00

didnt wan to online initially... but i wanted to blog abt my feelings so i came online. yeah.

it's tru tt wen pple are nt strict wif me, i wulden learn. it's bin lik tt since young til now. yea. n i nvr chng. but one tink tt im diff from wen im young tt pple didnt notice. in the past, i will try my very best wen pple are strict wif me. now, the stricter you are, the more i wulden care. n tts me. i dun wan to chng myself. i m happie wif de wae i m rite now. yup. no one can change me.

my boss was super angry n strict wif me todae. she's diff from how she used to treat me. she gaf me a super long list of tinks to do. even previous PAs dun haf tt super long list or dey didnt write? i dunno. but i managed to finish every single tink and even de additionals. pro bahx. but im afraid tt she will give me even more tinks to do in future. was super stress todae wif loads of tinks to do tt i kip running here and dere. but i manage to finish everytink by 6. lucky! if nt, i will be home late. lucky tt client didnt come todae. he chng to tmr morning. aniwae, i will be miting him. haha. tt saves me time. i cant do anitink wrong tmr!!!

sometimes im wondering why pple pin such high hopes on me. thou i noe i haf de ability and capable of doin so, but do i really nid to gif dis much? it's cos of those hopes tt makes me stress out. why does my boss onli c de mistake i make but nt c wat i've done n de effort tt i've put in. everyone else in the office tinks tt i work very hard n gt compliment by colleagues almost everydae. some of my boss's colleagues feel tt she is very fortunate to haf me as her PA. sometimes i really doubt myself, doubt her and this job. isit really me who's tinkin too much?

sometimes i really feel lik being a moron. so tt i can dunnit to understand, dunnit to care abt anitink in the world. nt tt im tinkin negative, i jus cant tink positive all the time. cos tt's human nature.

i dislike being someone of higher calibre sometimes.

2008-11-09T16:39:00.002+08:00

the first bdae surprise dis yr. ww. isnt she nice? wif de dress tt kun n ros bought for her.

bdae gal wif all de presents.

her bdae cake. *oishii* neh. chocolate cake.

modelling agency lookout. can ask her to model. :)

wif de card tt we made for her.

2008-11-09T16:13:00.004+08:00

super random fotos. cos i dunno how to upload such tt de sequence of my story can flow. i tried tt for once. it took me 2 daes to post the entry. so i dun wan to waste my time on dese shit. haha. nt really larx. cos im really busy. as u can see. starting to feel giddy due to tireness again...

owner: linn

his name: jacjac

breed: pomeranian

fotographer: ros

standing up. cute? he liks to climb on my skirt/pants n lick my leg. :) it's jus so cute!!! *kawaii* neh.

at my hse making card for linn. de same dae we make for ww. :)

surprise party for linn. wif all de food tt we bought and brought.

preparing...

im jus staring at the dog. tokin to him. haha.

we were outside de hse. wan to surprise her. :)

preparing to go her hse. me wif hp. i help me advertise. haha.

ww n bel crawl to another side of her door.

we're all standing outside linn's room waiting for her to change n cum out. she didnt even noe we're dere.

look at dis surprise! lol. chng n found out tt we're all outside her bedroom. haha.

de nice sushi made by bel.

looking for the one wif super lots of wasabi for linn. :)

wat i rote to linn.

2008-11-09T13:43:00.015+08:00

expect a super long entry bahx. it's been 8 days since i laz post a proper entry cos i m really busy. be patient.. :D

tok abt work first. kinda busy dese daes. working more than 10 hrs everydae wifout OT paid. :x in preparation for MAS to cum dwn n check. omg! MAS is so near my office. i guess dey can really jus pop up anitime n i will b dead. everyone is busy preparing while im so free as compared to them. cos i dun really noe anitink. hope dey dun cum so soon... i jus nid like another wk to pack de room n get everytink organise. i hope i can. luckily singapore is so small. if nt.. good luck to de whole company. haha. kayys. so de 2 major events on fridae. first, the fire drill practice. de notice was so big at the lobby but lik very few of my office pple notice it. so wen i announce to them, they were kinda shock. the notice says: "fire drill, 3:30pm - 5pm". my colleagues tt we all take the lift dwn to wait before the alarm goes off. imagine, de building tt im workin at is 33 storeys n we're on de 24th. omg! n no one is allowed to take lift during the drill. ... my colleagues interpret my expression as if im anticipating it. haha. so dey wanna c me run dwn. cont doin my stuff. had very very nice prawn noodle for lunch. n watermelon aft tt. :) bac to office n cont doin tinks. pack leetheng's room til ard 3:30 den go common area. wait for the fire alarm to go off. siti say we dunnit to run. cos dey onli go if sth really happens. haha. so de alarm sound at 4pm. all my collegues hide at common area or in deir boss room. so de security cant see us tru de main door n will tink tt we all went dwn. so i was concentrating on packing n continue packing til hui ni came behind me n sae: eh. u didnt go dwn n join them arhx. haha. n we both lol. so i said tt i dun intend to join. wanna finish packing the room. haha. do til 6 den slow dwn til abt 7. reunion dinner nxt, which wasnt exactly good. all PAs seat tgt on another long table at common area. immediately start working. n i went to mit lizhen. wanted to take trin. but tot of de bus from clementi to her hse. i dunno where to take. so i took 97 n chng 143 to her hse. reach ard 9:20. drop a letter at yueh wan hse den acc her to esso to buy fruits den came home. was so tired. bathe n slpt.

ytd was a dae well-spent wif friends. :)

it seems to take eternity to upload all these pics. :X there are more than 100 i guess... actually dere are really more than 100. but i can upload all. choose de nicers ones or those which i tink it's okie n lazy to delete. muaha.

met at which-was-supposedly-4pm at jp. went siamkitchen to seat n chat n had some snacks. which u see de 'remains' in the foto below. fried chicken n dunno wat salad.

the both of us tried to act cute in the foto abv. kun sae her target is 100 fotos for the nite. de first foto was taken at 5 plus. continue to see how we clock 120 fotos in 6 hrs time. :)

randomly taken by kun to kick start the foto taking. before linn came. :)

went esplanade n dine at azabu sabo restaurant. recommended by kun n linn for the fact tt dey serve nice dessert dere. :)

sat wif ros.
our dear... Mr kelvin chong. o0ps! it's Ms Kelly Chong. haha.

the dessert tt Mr Kelly Chong ordered. omg! i gt the sex wrong. haha.

The dessert me n ww share. banana chocolate wif soft ice cream. de chocolate was bitter sweet. :) nice.
The dessert tt ros ordered.

look at this couple. how sweet. :)

linn wif her oreo milkshake.

Kelly chong's mango ice wif soft ice cream.

ww pouring the chocolate on ice cream.

linn's oreo milkshake.

kun's green tea ice-cream. omg! de greentea ice cream taste the same as MacDonalds one. i dun really lik it. but i enjoy this dessert as a whole. :)

kun haf 80 fotos to go to her target. so we haf to take 10 stupid fotos each. start from ros.

then linn.

me.

grp foto taken by de waitress dere. which his facial expression was erm... farni!? he seems kinda reluctant to help us take fotos. :S

the servette dere.

the chicken teriyaki set tt kun, ros, linn, kel n ni ordered. it tastes okie. nt very nice. but nt tt bad.

the katsudon tt ww n me shared. looks tempting rite?! but hell no. de food sux actually. esp de fried pork. which was super hard. nt nice. *cross* but we haf to order the main course in order to get 30% off for the desserts. haha. i tink it's kinda stupid. regretted. shld haf jus ordered de dessert. ...

the settings. nice?

the menu. taken by kun.

ros took my pic while i tried to take deir pic. haha.

it's them wif... deir middle fingers! haha.

abt to go home aft a tiring but super enjoyable 6 hrs tgt, talkin non stop, screaming, shouting n laughing at the top of our voices. 7 of us make so much noise tt it looks lik a 30-40 person class gathering. lol.
the stupid me try to do stupid tinks lik pushing the wall.

acting to jump dwn from top of esplanade. but actually i m laughing lik mad aldy wen posing.

following kun's wae of acting cute.haha. she's actually infront of me.

trying to act cute on rooftop of esplanade at 10:45pm. :)

so bored tt i decide we shld do a qian shou guan yin.

n we came up wif dis stupid game.

tried to hold de ferriswheel. i did it! arent i pro?

made all do dis stupid tink lik going under de ornament dere. haha. de hole is so small tt onli small size pple can get in. we tried lik mad but end up, onli kun can get in. muaha. dis is de best pic of de dae. :)
some stupid pose tt we try to do again.

we're trying hard to take de jump pic. ros trying hard to jump.

she kip laughin aft a few tries n failed...

it's me testing the camera. camera man: ah ben n succeed on the second try. mum sae i look really stupid in this pic.

tryin to sow discord... :p

loving huh...
the view tt i took. of de buildings.

观景轮.

we were trying to do some butts stupid tink again. left rite n left rite n bac. go figure out ur self. haha. we were laughing non stop wen takin. dere are 2 camera mans: ben n kel. aft takin dese 5 pics, ben commented tt de were lik 2 cheekos look at 5 gals butt. lol.

aft the tiring but super enjoyable 6 hrs tgt, kun's dad took us home. kel ran awae. cos he dun wanna squeeze. or rather too embarass to squeeze. kun's bro took it for us. :) lookin forward to de next big grp n crazy lik nobody's business outing. miz all my friends. ...

2008-11-01T11:48:00.003+08:00

it's been long since i laz updated... im nt that freeas compared to laz time. first a dunno bad or good news...

戲劇節目女主角獎，林依晨／惡作劇2吻/八大電視股份有限公司

erm... kinda sad tt chen qiao en didnt get de award. but... i love all the 4 female leads. i watched all their shows. haha. all are nice! :) so i dunno whether to b happie or nt. haha. but at least, this award ceremony is one tt i look forward to watch. pls. someone upload de full version...

my bloody nose is itching rite now... thnks to de floor tt i jus swept. so i abit buay song now while trying to multi task.

bought myself a pac of ear sticks at market. it was darn cheap. 50 cents for 10 pairs? yup. i guess i wun want to wear earrings. haha.

work sux for me rite now. stil tryin very hard to improve myself and adjust to de long working hrs. kayys. wanna watch youtube liaoz. bye.

2008-10-28T20:44:00.002+08:00

okie. jus a super short update cos im really really busy dese daes. somemore, i gt no camera or rather no battery to operate the camera so there will b lesser pics. surviving on my hp camera now. ...

sundae, bought 3 new tops n 2 new bottoms for work. arghz! dun really lik to wear formal clothes. went singtel to re contract my broadband. n guess wat?! for de same speed, i pay 50% lesser than the last time i sign contract. haha. but i guess no one will b using comp for awhile cos i m busy workin while my bro busy preparing for NS. :) came home n went out again at 3 plus. wanted to go popular n buy tinks. but it was super ex wifout the card so i didnt get ani. went ard je to search for a present for linn. bought a nurse cup in the end. super cool. wanted to get nurse stuff for her. but... i cant find anitink other than the cup. came home n watch tv. mum made jelly for me to bring to linn hse on mondae.

mondae, bdae surprise for linn. it was really fun wif us surprising her wif de melted tiramisu cake, melted jelly, sushi n titbits. bel made a prawn sushi wif super lots of wasabi for linn. but end up, dunno where tt piece go. so we jus eat up all the stuff. de tiramisu ice cream at her hse was darn nice. muaha. stayed abt 3 hrs plus. she nid to go out. so we went home at ard 5 plus. it was a good dae spent tgt but too short. her dog is getting cuter. :)

2008-10-25T20:58:00.003+08:00

todae my mood is happie. :D

all the stuff tt i wanna do gets settled! :)

first tink: i gt my ear pierce. :)

second tink: she replied! haha.

kayys. put my mind at ease. :) woke up at ard 6 plus in de morning. cos tts de usual time i get up everydae. so i slp again til 8 plus. decided to go joggin cos it's bin long since i last jogged outside. jus walked 6 rounds. n off to market to draw money. de first atm dun haf. so de 2nd one was long queued. but i stil queue. cos i nid de money. gt de money, bought lunch then go home. bathe n go to de doctor to pierce my ears. it was ard 5 min wait onli. cos de lady came out, de man went in onli for 2 sec. really. practically open door, walk in, close door, open door n cum out. i wasnt nervous but rather excited. cos i dunno how i will look lik or how i will change after tt piercing. so i went in full of anticipation.

de doc ask me: "what happened to you?"

me: huh? (cos in my mind, i was dere to pierce my ear.) aft awhile of hesitation, i said i wanted to pierce my ears.

doc: sure. (he ask me alot of qns. lik sch, work n stuff. then he threw out a whole lot of earrings for me to choose from. was tinkin to get pink one. but stud is gold. which i dun lik. so i took de transparent one, stud silver. nicer. haha. if gt pink n silver stud, i confirm take tt.)

me: before you pierce, can i get my blood pressure taken?

doc: sure. how's ur weight rite now? (he ask me to step on weighing machine.)

so aft everytink done, me start to mark my ear den pierce. i dunno how painful it was til de right one was done. n i was lik: ouch. i wanted to ask doc to wait for awhile before piercing de 2nd one, but i decided nt to. kayys. n de second one was done. b4 i culd sae ouch on my second pierce, de doctor said ouch b4 me. haha. it was super pain for a few second. den alrite. so i ask for pain killers onli cos he said can use alcohol swaps to wipe. he ask if i wan ani antibiotics n stuff. i didnt take. gt 2 kinds of pain killers. total bill: $30. heart pain but happie. bought a packet of cheese ring and chocolate dip biscuits before i come home. so de moment my mum saw me, she said her lady came home. haha. she sae i look more feminine now. n she actually cook birdnest for me to eat. :) enjoyin my bird nest now though i dun lik. .. so i watch tv all de wae till 4 plus den do my stuff. now online again. gonna plan sth out aldy. bye~

2008-10-21T20:12:00.002+08:00

so... i was pratically clearin my stuff on sundae. woke up kinda late cos i feel tired. i kip feelin tired lately... went clementi to develop fotos first. den eat at kopitiam. fried wanton noodle. kinda nice. gt 9 big pcs of wanton. :) at least beta than de restaurant at chinatown tt mum brought my to last thu. :) walked ard den go west coast. go cc n c wat courses are available. but dun haf those i wan. help mum buy bread flour from sheng siong to make pizza. n... see below :D

the nicest. seafood mayonaise. gone wifin 3 hrs. :)

hotdog pizza. nt tt nice. but okie. :)

char siew pizza. snap it before it is eaten up. :)

kayys. so tts wat i did on sundae. for past 2 daes, im busy at work. by de end of de dae, i m super tired lik mad. paperwork, paperwork n more paperwork. getting more blur. haiz. i hope i can dunnit to ask pple soon. cos they haf alot to do oso. okie. wan to watch jiang zhishu n yuan xiangqin aldy. haha. update more wen i haf time. long wkend cumin soon. :)

2008-10-18T21:58:00.004+08:00

so my mood is feeling beta now. aft eating 2 breakfast in de morning, decide nt to go pierce my ears todae, aft a walk outside. so i shall tok abt ytd first. my first dae of work at IPP. was kinda relac. woke up at 6:30 cos i nid to wake up tt time, if nt, i wun haf toilet to use. so aft tt, i did my stuff. pack n get out of hse at ard 7:15. was wearing HEELS. so 5 mins aft i walk, my toe start to hurt. but i didnt care. since i haf lik ard 2 hrs b4 i start work, might as well i walk slowly. was vegetarian dae ytd, so ate vegetarian bee hoon before i go to work. de aunty is so kind to charge me onli $2. :) mt bro bought the same tink at $2.30. cos tts de regular price. ... aft i eat, i walk slowly to de bus stop. culden catch de bus wen de bus came while i was walking half wae cos im wearing HEELS. my leg hurts. i wan to prevent blistering. kayys. so i waited for another bus instead. 7:45. den reach interchange at ard 8. tok my paper n walk slowly to interchng n stuff. board de train which is nt tt pack. morning was kinda good. pple move in so tt others can cum in. i guess tt's de kindness of working adults. :) reach tanjong pagar at ard 8:25. 0oh ya. found $1 at de machine in mrt station. happie! so i walk to cheers and bought teenage magazine. walk slowly n reach IPP at 8:35. stil early. i start work onli at 9. todae i can consider myself walking slowly. den read newspper n waited for leetheng b4 startin work. cos she haf a miting. so i haf to seat ard til 10 am b4 hui min train me. she's a nice person. at least, for this job, pple are nicer. but work... harder. haha. so she tok til 12 pm den haf to go out le. so i had my lunch break. read newspper. cos i lazy to find vegetarian food. aniwae, im nt hungry. dunno why. but im seriously nt hungry. til ard 1 plus before leetheng came to tok to me. she went for miting at 4 n i start to do stuff. scared tt i cant finish doin. n i really took 2.5 hrs to do. den report to her n go home. while i prepare forms for her, i haf a paper cut. which made me really feel lik crying. i tot aft i leave zingdo, i wun b hurt animore. but i sustain alot of paper cuts and metal cuts n wood cuts at SNEC. i tot i wun get paper cuts and metal cuts n wood cuts aft i leave SNEC, but again, i sustain door cuts and toilet roll holder cuts. i tot i wun sustain those kind of stupid cuts animore, i got bac my paper cut on my first dae of work at IPP. so the world actually go round arh... haha. kayys. i rush bac home, wanted to pierce my ears n realise tt de doctor dont open on fridae nites. thank arhz. wen i came home, my back of leg was super cut-ed by my heels. de heels made my leg 'stick' to de shoes and cant b remove. by de time i peeled my foot out, de blisters was wat i nvr saw before. it looks so ugly. right leg was beta. wif onli cut n blister on last toe. but my left... has 4 big blister wif each coverin at least 3/4 surface area on top of my toes. de left most is de most disgusting. de blister covered my WHOLE TOE n it was sore red. so i told my mum n let her see my feet. she pitied me. yeah. coax me lik a kid. lol. kayys. so i bathed n slp. tired deadz. ...

todae, i went out at ard 2. IMM to buy shoes.

This is de new pair of shoes tt i bought for my new job. its actually silver grey in color. pic doesnt look nice. $29.95. heart pain but no choice. cos it is de onli soft pair of shoes ard.

so i walk ard n wanted to buy another pair of slipper for shopping during wkends or public holidaes. walk ard n decided tt dey are too ex so i didnt buy. happen to see this pair of slippers instead. since it can at least bring me to nearby places and it cheap, $4.30, i bought it wifout even tryin n it's oso de last pair. omg! dis is de first time i buy de 'last' of tinks. was actually $12.90, but it was on a discount. so i bought. de last time i bought a slipper was in JC. near my sch, at $3. haha. $4.30 for de abv pair of slipper, is it worth it?

okie. dis was de pic taken at my hse wen we were making de bdae cards. see how messy my place is. but de whole place is full of fun, joy, peace and laughters. i enjoy moments like this wif my frens. god... pls gimme more of such times please.

everyone is tokin while ros is busy designing.

the great artist!!! ROSALIND!!! *a round of applause.* :D the others are great too. :) a sticky note pad board. bian li tie rocks!

kayys. im tired n i wan to cont watchin they kiss again. post more pics nxt time. bye. ~

2008-10-18T09:03:00.001+08:00

haiz. no more computers during lunch time. so my entries are kinda messy. wanted to tok abt my first dae of work. but my mood isnt very good cos tinks dun go according to my plan so i dun wan to blog animore. sianz!!!

2008-10-16T20:06:00.002+08:00

okie. so ytd was my last dae of work. todae is my relaxation dae n tmr will b my first day of new job at shenton way. i tink my lifestyle will chng. but... nvm... try nt to tink abt it...

i dun care if im nt understanding...
i dun care if im nt forgiving...
i dun care if im nt caring at all...
i dun care if im nt loving...
so long as i can do wat i wan n i can b happie! :D

u can see me as a selfish person, i dun gif a damn.
because tt's how i perceive the world as...
cos i m jus a human being. ...

so todae my mood was supposed to b very good. but tinks dun really turn out tt way. m i asking for too much? plan too perfect? woke up at 7 plus dis morning. cos im jus used to wakin up at tt time. went market for breakfast. haiz. on my way bac, i saw sth which saddens me. ... prepare to go out. wanted to go shenton way to walk walk. but chng my mind... dunno why. mum seem nt to b able to cope wif shopping animore. headed dwn to chinatown straight. mum wan to eat lunch. so i ate as well. hor fun. which is nt very nice. at least nt sth tt i will recommend. ate the speciality tofu as well. i tink de coffeeshop sells better tofu then de restaurant for the same price. went to walk ard chinatown market. wanted to buy clothes. ended up didnt buy ani. so... sth which made me pissed. while i was browsing clothes, a mum holding a lil boy came to see clothes as well. she saw de same clothes tt i wanted. i didnt know tt they were standing behind me til de lil boy reach inside my skirt n touch my underwear. i was shocked n walk one whole big round to my mum. before i turn to look at de mum n lil boy. i was pissed wif tt boy. feel lik giving him 2 tight slaps. ... den we walk over to OG. went to de taiwan food fair. jus as wat i expected. nt really nice. haha. but gt sample alot of food. so end up, mum buy mochi n wasabi cuttlefish for bro. i din buy anitink though i wanted tt pineapple tarts very much. cos de one ros brought bac from taiwan is really nice. mum wanted to rest aft tt. so we stop at MacDonalds first. aft eating MacDonalds at NTU, i dun feel lik eating MacDonalds outside. had ice cream cone n medium fries. n we sat for lik half hr den go OG for awhile. saw sth tt irritates me as well. a sales lady was pushing a trolley of shoes n a lil boy ran over n cause all the shoes to drop. so de mum/grandma was super angry n stared at de sales person. n de boy lie tt he was hurt. i was lik: i wanted to help tt sales person lo. kids nowadaes really made me feel lik... okie. *censored* kayys. so nxt time if i see anitink unfavourable, i shall act according to wat my instinct tells me. so the right will nt b wronged. some pple are jus so idiotic... dun expect me to b understanding...

i only want to escape into the world of books at the moment.

2008-10-15T09:11:00.006+08:00

okie. i finally figured out the msn stuff aldy. at the expense of my exercise. baka! dunno why my comp kip promting me to update the newer version of msn each time it launches before it can work. arghz! it's lik... every few mths, i will b wasting time on these stupid tinks. but i've gt no choice. in order to tok to my frens. haha. so... de surprise is nt really tt workable animore. but i will try to realise it. totallie idiot. slp kinda late laz nite. cos i was busy listening to songs and recording my song singing session. i realise, wifout music, i culd sing beta. haha.

this morning, i was listening to S.H.E songs before coming to work. yarh. IT'S OFFICIALLY MY LAST DAY!!! culden wait for the time to knock off. my supervisor wanna treat me to lunch but i rejected. haha. cos i jus dun feel lik eating wif dem. wanna watch videos. :) i dunno if i've done the rite tink. but i merely follow my heart. ... was late in the morning. so i didnt get ani newsppers. queue for 179A was short as well. went old chang kee to buy sardine puff, cos dey run out of curry n a chicken wing. now, my stupid whole mouth smells. like sardine. super smelly. cant stand it. so i gotta work rite now. haha. fridae is my first dae of work at shenton way. n i m goin to pierce my ear. gotta eat vegetarian tt dae oso. ...

jus had lunch. super full. wanted to eat alot todae cos its my last dae. will miz de food here. had chicken chop rice. but i tink sambal fish beta. n i realise tt preserved sour vege can help 'neutralise' the super spicy chilli. de chilli is spicy but nice. haha. came bac from my supervisor side n realise tt my shoe stripe jus broke. sianz. mayb i m fated to get new shoes before starting work? i tink i jus bought this pair of sandals a few mths ago. so... abit wasted arhx. the shoes tt i m waiting for it to spoil didnt spoil. but the shoe tt i dun wan it to spoil jus died on me. so i shall go shopping tmr n prepare for new job. :)

suddenly haf dis stupid n weird idea. was tinkin tt since i m working so hard to attain my goal at the age of 21, lik losing weight, buy jewelleries and going to pierce my ears. i m tinkin of dyeing my hair pink in color since my frenz sae tt i haf too much white hair (i m seriously considering dyeing or highlighting my hair). n since im aldy doin so much, i m tinkin of having a tattoo on my bac, below my waist. a really small one tt wulden really show. haha. crazy ideas rite?

2008-10-14T14:11:00.003+08:00

tell you!!! dis morning... wAhh! its embarrasing. *red*

woke up at 6:40 todae. cos i wanna slp in. ytd reach home late, bathe late, so cant slp. onli fell aslp at 2am. haha. aft washing up, cook instant noodle n eat before i go to work. haha. n... my hse, de whole morning is jus lik those shows in drama serial. haha. nid to do some housework before i go to work cos i didnt do ani last nite. my room is in super mess, my bottle n container haven wash n blah blah blah. so kinda lotsa tinks to do. so by de time i m almost done wif my stuff, my dad open de door n get out. so i grab my stuff n run out of de hse oso. leaving the door open cos dad ask my bro to lock it. haha. i guess if my parents see me leave 2 doors open early in de morning, i will get scolding bahx. haha. but who cares. decide to take the stairs instead though i m lik almost late. den walk slowly to de bus stop. its alrite! de bus came aft lik 1 to 2 min of waiting. goodie luck. so... i m onli lik late for 10 mins todae. tot my colleague didnt come. but she did, awhile aft i came bac from my morning visit to de bathroom. so todae cant slack tt much. ...

it's super embarrasing in de morning. cos it was gettin late so i decided nt to wait for another bus so i board the bus which was kinda packed. stood towards de bac, reading newspper. tts my routine. de bus moved off n i cont reading... suddenly, de guy infront of me suddenly touch my hand, which startled me but i guess no other commuters see my shocked face cos de newspper is blocking me. i tot wat happened. but he ask me if i wan to take his seat, so i said no, thank you, its okie in a very loud voice til pple ard me turn to look at me. so i was embarrassed. but he stil stood up so i sat. cos de bus is super packed. n he was taller than de height of de bus so he nid to bend his head throughout the bus journey. n he was slping. haha. i was lik thinkin: he needs the seat more than i do. ... but i didnt stand up n ask him to seat back cos it will b another round of embarrasment. i felt so uneasy n pray tt i reach my stop soon. n jus quickly get dwn wen i reach. 0oh man! it's super embarrasing!!! i dun wish for another similar encounter. ... seriously. so wat if i m a girl, reading newspper while standing in de bus... i can tahan k! aniwae, thanks to de guy who gave up his seat for me. :) wen i gt dwn, he hasnt get dwn yet. ...

i officially start counting dwn to my last dae of work laz wk. haha. todae is 2nd last. so which means i will b kinda relac. haha. dere are so many tinks i wanna eat cos it's cheaper in here. :) gt my Mac-wings meal at $4.90 today for lunch. man! it's super fattening. shall i eat chicken chop rice tmr? saw de chicken chop nicely fried tt dae. dunno how will it be like tmr. ... i will miz subway too. MacDonald is de best! cheap lik crazy. haha.

0oh ya. n i haf thu off! woohoo! shall go shopping n taiwan food fair! but i feel like reading... dots. i love books! dey jus rock my world. wan to finish reading the comic strips tt i haven finish reading last time. but... i got no time. ...

kayys! finally... i wan to cont abt my best in luck ytd. ... so my supervisor went off early. by 6, she's aldy off. so i quickly shut dwn my comp n go off oso. went to de foodcourt at lvl 2 to eat my gong bao chicken. but.. it wasnt as nice as de one sold at de coffeeshop near my hse. so i called n ask if i culd go ni hse first. since my bag is super heavy n i cant go walkin ard clementi central. first time going to ni hse. reach dere at 7 plus. so i went into her room. small yet dere are all neccesities. it's totallie a warm place to b at. pack my stuff while she look tru her tutorial for 5 mins. she showed me all her piglets n de keychains tat ben n her caught. super cute. she showed me her baby foto as well. super cute. then she took out her whole album of fotos for me to see. choir, syf, class outings n stuff. she even kept de ones where dey went on a malaysia trip in sec 1 or 2. haha. while i was browsing thru de fotos, i saw someone tt looks lik chuan linn. so i ask if tt's her. n she said ya. so i was kinda stunned tt everyone looked diff nw. haha. so aft bel n ros reach, we went ww hse straight wif a chocolate cake as it's getting late. haha. but waiwah knew it... :) we had a kinda happie 1hr at her hse, catching up a lil, fotographing n stuff. left at 9:30. look for kun at her hse market. den we went home. took 282 chng bus. n ros took 282 from clementi to bel hse, change 189 to bukit batok. haha. so she'll haf to travel bac to clementi again. haha. kayys. gonna grab de pics once dey are ready. cos i took to many stuff to her hse, so didnt take ani fotos. kayys. gonna enjoy my 1 dae and less than 3.5 hrs left in de office. bye~

kayys. jus reach home. purposely missed two 179 buses jus to wait for 179A. n... i m glad i did. :) found $1 on bus. dunno which unlucky soul drop it. haha. so i picked it up. i've bin lucky for a fortnight recently. the amt of money i picked up in these 2 wks can amt up to my 1hr of pay. haha. perhaps someone saw tt i work so hard n want to gif me money. haha. kayys. but im nt very happie. sense tt tinks will go wrong ltr. n it did. i miz my bus 30 cos i cant see the bus no. so wen i realise tt's my bus, i ran n reach the entrance. but de bus jus went off lik tt. super pissed. n i knock onto a metal barrier wen i want to queue for the bus. so i took 154 home instead. arghz!

2008-10-13T14:34:00.002+08:00

w0ots! todae is really my lucky dae i guess. :) no nid to do laundry in de morning, except tat wen i listen to songs, mum ask me to get out of my hse. so tt i wun b late. haha. i went out a lil earlier cos it's gettin bored to b singin n listenin to de same song every morning. gotta chase aft the stupid bus 30 cos it came 2 at the same time. if i dun chase, i will b late. my bag is super heavy wif de extraordinary stuff tt im bringin todae. n de stupid puzzle frame impede my movement. it's ard half my height. so i gotta carry it high up before i can run to de bus or even worse, walk up de stupid staircases. n de frame is so fragile tt i worry it might break before it reaches it's owner. but nvm. its all over. haha. im jus tinkin how to carry dwn to clementi ltr. cos de train will b packed n pple will jus rush in. :x but i hope im lucky enuff nt to break de tink. :) n... i m real lucky todae! haha. i reach de office lik 5 mins late. my supervisor and colleague arent here yet. purposely go toilet for 5 mins. to realise tt dey arent here wen i came bac to my seat. so i took time to print my stuff aft gettin printin paper. haha. used lik ard half hr? yea. before my supervisor finally reach. haha. n my colleague didnt come todae. so tts good. :) which means wat i do todae will remain unnoticed. :P *wishful thinking* so aft i settle my stuff - my hp, my papers, my videos for lunch, den i go over to my supervisor place at ard 10. she tok till 11 before i came back, did my stuff n finish before lunch. haha. :) which means im kinda free rite now. ... i guess she'll b busy this period of time. so... equal to more slacking time for me. :p hokayys. so i went to foodcourt to buy hor fun for lunch todae. dine in-$2.30, takeaway-$2.50 for de stupid container. n de food todae isnt nice. mayb too many pple aldy. feel lik eating their beef n fish n chicken as well. dere are many tinks tt i wanna eat b4 i leave this place cos dere isnt ani other place where u can find food this cheap. :) sneak de food in at 12, clear up de area n hide de food such tt no one will c. so lucky! de secretary behind me went for early lunch, my colleague is off, 3 out of 4 supersivors infront of me are on half dae leave. so practically, wen i was eating, dey left. muaha! so ard me is empty, except for tat secretary in her room. so she culden really noe wat i doing. :) so i watched videos all de way til 2:30 before i clear up my stuff n start blogging. whee~! so i wonder wat time can i leave de office todae. goin out aft work!!! gonna enjoy myself TODAY. :D

2008-10-12T12:08:00.002+08:00

so i went home at 5:25pm laz friae. haha. reach home ard 6:30. kinda early. wanted to exercise but end up i overate so... didnt exercise. bathe n eat again then watch dvd til my uncle came to my hse. he gave me a webby tt can watch alot of videos. :) so i gotta dl all de softwares needed n stuff. to realise aft half hr, de tink cant work. sianz. gotta find one fine dae to figure out all the stupid shit. but i doubt tt de webby can work. so i slpt. tired. all the wae till nxt morning by a phone call. decided tt i will b late in miting jia min, got up n do housework. before i bathe at 10:15 n out of de hse at ard 10:45. cos i cant figure out wat clothes to wear. ... went to bank before walkin over to popular n mit her. she wasnt dere wen i reach. went in to read a book. kinda nice. haha. i jus love readign nowadays. :) but i wulden read wen i'm tired, cos i wan to enjoy de book as much as possible. went zingdo to eat chicken myon n deep fried spinach. jia min tok abt her one and half mths attachment in china. n she bought me a blue bei-bei highlighter. :) so aft i ate, athari told me got this eating competition ltr at jec. cos it's closing dwn soon, so dere's kinda alot of activities. this young lady approach us to take photo to stick at the board for memory. haha. so we took. saw kyikyi wif sir joseph. so de lady approach us to take another one. but sir dun wan, so onli de 3 of us took. nice. :) watch de eating challenge. den jiamin go off aft tt. dere's this heart fair at je, gt st.john pple dere. so we went to take a look. she went off. i went popular to read n wait for mum. read 2 e-pop mags, san zi jing, di zi gui, joke books and comic stripes. before my legs hurt lik crazy n i decided to go toilet. walked bac to entertainment ctr. mum called me. so we decided to go sakura n eat. listen to singing competition for awhile n decided to read at popular before mum come. so wen i was abt to read, mum called. so i went to mit her. train dwn to admiralty park. which is near woodlands mrt. queue for awhile more than half hr. before we culd eat. finally! it's my first time dining at sakura. de food is... so-so. had breaded prawn sushi roll, black pepper hot plate beef, octopus, seafood and alot of stuff. didnt take ani pics cos i forgt to bring my camera out. lastly, de dessert! i took alot of cakes and mochi n stuff. de nicest is black pepper beef hotplate, mini oreo cheese cake and chocolate mochi. de rest... can sae it's edible. haha. okie. walk all de wae bac to woodlands n bus dwn to my auntie hse. took some jewelleries home! kayys. i shall put my plans into action no matter how much it costs. bye! :)

2008-10-10T14:17:00.003+08:00

yes! yes! yes! gonna knock off in less than 4 hrs time. perhaps i will go off earlier todae. haha. i go home earlier everydae. haha. todae's a 'pro' dae for me? suddenly feel lik having breakfast at de market. so i went. had my super big plate of fried noodle at onli $1. :) so aft eating, went to wait for bus at de usual time. but the bus onli came at 7:45. so by the time i reach interchange is lik 8:20. haha. confirm late. took my new paper as usual and top up my card before going to queue for 179A. haha. board the bus kinda late. reach office at 8:45. pro? n todae, most of de supervisors goin on a full dae miting. ... dunno wat time the miting will end. haha. bless me god. so... todae kinda lack larx. morning did de usual checkin n i managed to finish!!! onli half. haha. nw cont de other half. kinda fast larx. jus de usual prob. almost finish the checking aldy. ... n.. aft much 'thought' and hesitation, i finally watch hot shot todae. haha. stil at de first episode. gonna finish watchin by wed but i doubt so. haha. i'll try to k? cos dere's onli lik 12 to 13 episodes n it's stil airing. so i try my best to watch 3 eps per dae. :) kayys. gonna work n watch hot shot. ...

i'm excited!!! gonna mit jia min for lunch at zingdo tmr n mum's bringin me for tea-time-but-eat-like-dinner buffet tmr at sakura! looking forward tmr. perhaps i shld rite dwn my shopping list n start shoppin wen i haf de time. changing new job nxt fri. first dae of work. nid formal attire n i dun haf even one. tell me where to get those formal attire!!! :D hope i dun spend too much. :)

2008-10-09T15:09:00.003+08:00

i feel tired now... slpt super duper late laz nite. ard 1 am i guess. ... had a chat wif wanjun online. wanted to ask her abt de jobs n routines n expectations working at ipp. which is my nxt job. i m goin to replace her. haha. thnks for recommendin me dis job. :) so by de time i finish chatting wif her, it's lik 11:30pm aldy. dunno why. i decided to take out all my cds. n watching de videos and pics one by one. so by chance, saw all de fotos tt featured us thru our advanced NCO course, the times being instructors in basic NCO course and JC's orientation camp. i jus miz de times in school...

if onli i culd turn bac time... perhaps i will stil choose the same path n nt regret aft tt. yea.

i.want.to.go.to.school!!!

all de stupid stupid tinks tt we did tgt, de hanging out, the screamin n shouting during wee hrs in de morning, n de relac-sation tt we had. sch's better than work, i will sae. but i dislike all the tests and exams. tts de stressful and nt so enjoyable part abt sch. otherwise, sch will jus b a perfect plae to b in. ... n i gt de stupid disc cut on my hand. dunno how i got de cut, but when getting the cd out. mayb, tonite wen i get home, i will try to insert de same disc again. cos de disc cant b watched. i miz de orientation n all the fun n stuff. kayys. time wun turn bac. tt's enuff.

it's okie to b tired once in awhile... i nid to wake up sooner or later. for the tinks tt i nid to do in life. im in de planning stage rite now. due to one reason or another, i culden do wat i wanted to do. why is life lik tt? cos life is like that.

had subway again for lunch though i brought bread. dunno why... i jus feel lik eating subway for the rest of my daes working in NTU. but i guess tt's nt doin my wallet a favour. n i guess, my ezlink card wasnt tapped wen i alighted the bus in de morning. nt becos i forgt but becos dunno why, de card reader wasnt able to read my card. it's really stupid k. jus save me please... de value in my ezlink card alwaes go by in 3 daes. ... cold cut trio, honey mustard... nxt up: roast beef, bacon stripes, onion. :) subway rocks! :)

2008-10-08T09:41:00.004+08:00

今天的电脑连接非常慢。。。。。。。。。。。。

我等到快要睡着了。受不了！！！

昨天晚上又梦到“她”。这一次，我很确定，很清楚“她”并不是要传达讯息，而是对于我对“她”的过度思念。。。都那么久的事情了，这算久吗？总之，我没有办法忘记“她”，只能把这段回忆“藏”起来。但每次遇到相同的事情或东西时，我都很不由自主地想起“她”。就让我自己慢慢地走出悲伤。。。

今天早上，真的是气死我了! 竟然因为没叫醒弟弟而被爸爸骂。你说，这有理吗？!

今天，我还以为我又三更半夜睡不着而起床。但是，在闹钟响了过后才发现时间不早了。原来已经六点半了。我就慢慢爬起床准备上班，收拾了东西后，就去冲凉。看到弟弟还没醒，又不知到他到底几点上学，我就决定不要叫醒他。在冲凉房里，全身脱光光的我才发现没有厕纸了，就索性穿了上衣走了出去拿厕纸。不要想入非非喔！没穿那么少啦，只是懒的打。当我要走回冲凉房的时候，才发现爸爸和弟弟起床了。这下糟了。。。我只穿了上衣耶！很害羞，很尴尬。刚好，爸在用冲凉房。我一直祈祷着，希望他快点出来。然后就问爸他是否要用冲凉房，他就叫我快点。我说进去把东西收一收就可以让给他用。反正我还有时间。然后爸爸就问我又没有看到弟弟在睡觉，我就说有啊。他问我为什么没叫醒他，然后就骂我了。请问，弟弟睡不醒，就是他的错，关我啥事？满肚子气的我就进去房间读报纸到七点，才去冲凉。但是爸爸还没好，妈就叫我去用房间的。最后，我根本没冲，因为房间的厕所实在太小了，很难冲，只随便淋一下身体，然后就出门了。我的早餐到现在都还没吃！！！

期望越大，失望越大。拜托大家不要对我的期望那么大可以吗？希望落空的时候，我可以感受到你感受的痛苦，因为我自己也在经历。如果有的选择，我不想做自己。。。

在享用完午餐过后，我想了一大堆的无聊事。。。哈哈。最近的我还蛮疯偶像剧的，到我不可自拔的地步。每看一次偶像剧，我就会想变成戏里的某个角色。这让我联想到可以做的一堆傻事，和我以前的糗事。。。告诉你我最糗的两件事，

第一，我曾经在一个年尾的假期玩到忘我。在新学年里，我竟然忘记怎样写自己的名字。结果把名字写错了。哈哈。还是我的华文名。老师就把我写错的名字念出来，结果被全班笑到肚子痛。

第二，现在的我很疯《命中注定我爱你》这部连续剧，戏里的“陈欣怡”这个名字我念到脱不了口。所以，如果你现在问我叫什么名字，我一定告诉你我叫“陈欣怡”。哈哈。非常好笑吧！因为我的真名跟它差得还蛮远的。而且，我不姓陈。（虽然我比较习惯人家叫我欣怡:D）这还不用紧。。。更糟的是，我已经“分辨不了”人家的姓了，遇到每个人，我都会觉得他姓陈。哈哈。我看我是中了“戏毒”吧！

2008-10-07T14:09:00.005+08:00

一封电子邮件= 我的定心丸

从早上等这封邮件等到现在。终于让我等到了！很开心，很期待新工作。不瞒你们说，其实我也有点害怕，虽然没上几次换工作那么糟啦。但。。。

期待，开心〉害怕，担心

只要有积极的态度，什么都可以克服的，不是吗？正所谓“天下无难事，只怕有心人”。我这次一定会好好表现。:)

加油，林欣奕！

刚刚吃饭吃到一半，上司忽然叫我过去。我面带容走了过去，其实心里是超不爽的。我以为她找我有什么事，如果是工事，我会立刻拒绝她。如果是私事，我就尽量把答案缩短。结果，她果然跟我聊私事。我简直气炸了。不很认识我的人给我看清楚！！！我非常非常非常的不喜欢聊私事！如果有一天，被问到私事的我忽然发火，就不要怪我咯。我先声明了。私事是留给自己和非常要好的朋友的。所以，只有好朋友可以问，但我未必会回答。在这里，我要先道歉，

对不起！

因为我真的不喜欢我的私生活被打扰。请大家多多包含。

对了。。。我上司问我私事也就算了。竟然还问到我的家人，朋友。。。还想传教。他已经让我忍到了极限嘞！因为这些我都不想说。。。对我来说，公私分明！我给了他很不爽的脸，但她还是看“不懂”我的脸色，继续问。生气！

我极度讨厌被问的私事：

1. 传教。问我有没有宗教信仰，然后说教。

2. 我的家人朋友，跟她们相处的好不好。

3. 我之前跟日后的工作。

4. 我的人生计划。

好啦。结果我就说如果没事，我就要回去看戏了。然后，他就立刻跟我谈起公事来。拜托！人家正在吃饭耶。要聊一下公事也要看看时间嘛。本来我想不跟她说我的计划的，但是我又不能拒绝她，只好说了。真不想跟她说话。。。

今天的文章有些特别吧！猜猜看。。。今天只写心情，没依照之前的惯例，写着像日记般的文章。

今天令我开心的另一件事是：我找到做“姜军包”的配方了。哈哈。我果然猜的没错。只有姜和肉。可是妈妈说不可能。哈哈。今天回家要叫她做包了。很想吃姜军包。。。我想它的味道会像锅贴一样。开心。很庆幸没放弃找姜军包的配方。。。这个星期又有口福了！

2008-10-06T10:58:00.004+08:00

今天早上糟透了。。。迟起床，从冲凉房出来晚了，弄个便当就弄了十分钟，吃个早餐又吃了十分钟。我的包包还没有收拾。二十分钟里，我要做很多东西。看来要为自己多多加油了。。。一面吃着早餐，一面收拾着包包，东西丢了一地，然后再慢慢收拾，出门上班去！结果到公司才发现，我竟然忘了带外套来。现在的我冷毙了。谁可以救救我啊！现在才十一点耶。。。等下七点才下班，还有八个小时的冷气要熬。我现在只想说三个字：“救救我”。在巴士上听着933电台，拿出便利贴，写下今天所又要完成的东西。今天的我又迟到。。。而且不知道为什么，上司最近很早到办公室。不管了啦。哈哈。慢慢的做我的东西。可是，三个钟头已过，什么东西都还没完成。哈哈。太多东西了！不知道要从哪开始。我就一样一样慢慢来吧！今天还很漫长，这个星期还很漫长。:)

我一直都在担心的事情果然发生了。。。

我袖子上的纽扣掉了。妈呀！更糟糕的是，我竟然不知道它几时掉。虽然没那么容易注意到，但是我就是很不爽，因为我看得到它的瑕疵。。。令我不能不理会。就是受不了不完美。啊~ 现在知道我为什么不喜欢穿有纽扣的衣服了吗？

依旧。。。我的头发不断地给我添麻烦。为什么人要有头发呢？没有头发就没有烦恼。哈哈。今年，我的发形特别多变。。。从长发，到三月中剪的水母头，到七月初剪的超级短发，现在已经变长了。记得去年会考前剪去了长发，但还是长啦，头发就一直处于不太能绑的状态。弄得我很不舒服，睡觉又很容易被压到。三月终于剪了个水母头，出乎预料的难理。短的时候还好，它一长了就越来越难理。由于我的头发长的数度实在惊人，已经不像水母了，我逼不得以才把它剪掉。变成了超级短发。就因为有水母头的时候每天吹头发，保持形状，一天吹上好几次，我的头发现在是干到不行。发质不顺滑，头发粗粗的，又翘翘的，很烦啊!为了不要让它干到断掉，所以昨晚洗完澡就放头油。你猜，结果。。。头就油到今天还在油。真受不了！我看。。。是时候该理发了。便利贴上一堆密密麻麻的事情都是我想做的，但是却没时间做。等有一天有空时，我就要把便利贴上写的事情通通做完。

今天佳敏从中国回来，很期待与她见面。很久没看到她了。。。有九个月了吗？

2008-10-05T13:05:00.002+08:00

okie. my entry sux rite now. cos i alwaes type halfwae den nid to work or my supervisor call me over to her desk. or i nid to settle some stuff. it's irritating! so de entry is alwaes onli half wae done. :x

forgt wat i did on fri. onli remb tt my supervisor pre-empt me. haha. wen i was abt to leave, at 6:05, she walked over to my place n ask me over to her desk. n practically wat she was sayin to me at tt time is just so shit. i've actually done de stuff tt she tell me to do. muahaha. tts why i kip getting free time. so wen i move rite bac from her seat, i shut dwn my comp immediately n leave. hope she doesnt catch me tmr. even if she does, i m nt goin to care. aniwae, my contract is goin to end de wk aft nxt. haha. reach home kinda early on fri cos de moment i get to busstop from my workplace, de bus came. n 30 came the moment i alight from 179. haha. managed to get home ard 7:10, had dinner, chat wif mum n do my own stuff.

woke up at ard 7 on sat. thanks to my bro's alarm clock. i've bin repeating for like 10,000 times. i can walk over to his room n off his alarm before he even wake up. okie. so i lay on de bed til 8 den start to wash up, go market n buy brunch then do some hsework. by the time i finish doin my stuff n bathe, it's aldy 11 plus. met bel at je popular which she was late. haha. so i read a book while waiting for her. dunno why, i feel lik wearing specs. so i wore. n she wore shorts as well. haha. i cant even recognise her. n she cant recognise me too. muaha. cos i jus came bac from 姜母岛. haha. so we went IMM. bought some stuff b4 comin to my hse. okie. i will cont de story sometime ltr. n perhaps post some pics as well. had a SUPER sumptous dinner. beef rice n fish n chip rice. tts all i wanna sae. haha. details later. some stuff are nt meant to be remb/spoken. :x slp kinda late laz nite. cos i die die oso wanna finish the sudoku. it was kinda hard n i used 1 hr to complete. haha. slpt at 12.

woke up at close to 10 just now. super tired. so im nt goin to go out todae. finish up wat im supposed to do.

2008-10-03T10:28:00.003+08:00

现在，上司就在我背后和同事对话。我的东西做完咯！开心，可以做自己的东西了。希望她不会发现。哈哈。好忙喔! 我是说我的同事们很忙。我几时会有忙过的日子呢？这是当代班的好处。哈哈。

我觉得老天爷很眷顾我耶！就在昨天啊，我要吃晚饭的时候。。。

我本来要到食阁吃东西，但是我想吃的那摊迷你锅要排很长的队，我没那个时间，所以就去了老曾记吃点了辣椒炸鱼饭。又很想吃些小食，就随便拿了一串炸鱼。我应该吃炸鸡翅膀啦！！！后悔。。。昨天吃了很多鱼。正当我从包包里拿钱出来准备要结账时，忽然看到一张五元“大”钞在地上“向我招手”。我乐极了！毫不犹豫从地上把它捡起来，塞到收银员的手里，拿了我的便当盒走人了。享受着老天爷给我的免费晚餐。吃着热热的饭，刚炸好又香又脆的鱼片，酸酸辣辣的辣椒和爽脆的酸菜，当时的心非笔墨能形容。心里。。。有种感激，有种感动，有种罪恶。。。有点开心。心里。。。是暖洋洋的。

2008-10-02T15:30:00.000+08:00

昨晚，或者我该说凌晨，我接近十二点才睡觉。。。谁叫我那个时间才睡得着啊！所以今天又爬不起来。哈哈！算我或该吧。洗刷完毕，享用了十分钟的早餐后，快快把东西收一收，就坐下来听歌。眼看时间还早着呢！听着听着，忽然觉得很有空，不想浪费时间，所以就干脆抄生字。然后，继续的听歌。所以又错过了平时乘搭的那辆巴士，只好等下一趟。又遇见了我的朋友，因为她也是大概那个时间上班的。像平时一样，拿报纸，为易通卡添值。今天的机械有点怪怪的，好不容易在走完三遍之后才添了值。然后就搭巴士来上班，整整迟到了十五分钟。奇怪了，今天的巴士。。。我还以为上司会比我迟到，今天她早来了！！！我整个人吓了一大跳。我走回坐位的时候，她示意要我过去她的位子。我匆匆放下东西后，就过去了。然后。。。又被她发现我星期二偷偷的早走了。所以今天她有点不爽。。。分配了工作给我以后，就回来了。快近十一点，她就过来看我做完了没。还好，我只差一个，一分钟以内可以搞定。嘻。可是当她在看到我做东西的时候用了shortcut，她有点不爽。我就证明给她看那是行得通的，她没办法，只好让我照我的方法做。我。。。过后做错了一样东西，她很生气，把我骂了一顿。可我不管，我没理她。因为，那不完全是我的错。她开始有点怀疑我的办事能力，对我的信用也已经破产了吧！就要证明给她看，我是快而准的。我是可以信赖的。好了啦。不想说这些不愉快的，因为明天是星期五嘛！我期待已久的周末就要来咯。要好好享受我自己。加油吧！等下收工后有事情还要办，我的答案会是什么呢？我该如何做选择呢？老天爷啊！告诉我吧！

我的未来，主已安排。

2008-10-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

今天就这样过了... 又要从梦中醒来了. 但是, 我很感谢今天, 虽然很累, 但很开心. :D 把想做的事都做完了. :) 满足!!!

so i did wat i m supposed to do todae. :) woke up at ard 9 plus todae. cos im too tired to open my eyes. slpt at 1 laz nite. wash up n go for breakfast. dun feel lik jogging in the morning. the blister on feet broke. so it's kinda pain to even walk. nid to do sth for this cumin sat... walked to de market to haf breakfast. fried noodle n bee hoon. had fish fillet oso. saw de fried fish slices at de market n it looks nice. so i bought tt n eat too. haha. jus a 'simple' breakfast tt totals up to $3.50. bought some drinks n some titbits. guess tt shld b enuff. hahaz. start to pack my room de moment i came home. starting wif the walls, table then cupboard. de walls are 'scrub' til as if it's freshly painted. :) mirrors and glasses wiped as if it can even reflect transparent tinks :) table is super neat! wif the loose ppers kept in a file and alot of stuffs removed. haha. happie. :) cupboard for clothes is lik original jus tt it's nt dusty animore. packed my cupboard for books as well. it looks 73657265 times neater than original though i haf probs kipin some stuffs. at least de not so neat parts cant b seen. art materials are ready for use. :) jus left wif de newspper to settle! happie! so i used lik 5 hrs to get my whole room sparkling clean n neat. den settle de messy stuff on my table. haven finish yet. stil settling. hmmx. at 4, i start to exercise til 6 while watching dvd. nt tired but my feet hurts cos of de blister. bathed n had quite a sumptous dinner jus now. i shld sae. kayys. guess tt i shld cont wif my packin liaoz. bye. :)